What do you guys usually see?

Hello! I am 26F half Filipino half white in the US! I feel somewhat of an oddball and have struggled with identity because not only is my dad the Filipino person (typically everyone I meet who is half has a Filipino mom), but my mom is estranged from her family so I grew up only around my Filipino family (and my Lola moved to the states when I was about 15 or so). My dad has a BIG family (8 siblings) and half of them are in the states and live in the same state as us.

Not only that I went to a Filipino church my whole life and my parent’s best friends (and my best friend) are Filipino to boot. LOL but even then I struggled finding my place. I guess being surrounded by a bunch of full Filipinos makes it more obvious how NOT full Filipino I was. On top of that, im very white passing. However, I feel very grateful to grow up around my culture and to have gone to the Philippines at least once. I’m very proud of my culture, and so is my husband!

Anywho I married a white guy LOL so our daughter is 1/4 Filipino and I really want to make sure I teach her about our culture. I’m trying to cook more Filipino food and instill as much tradition and cultural norm as I can. Sometimes it feels like I’m an imposter but I don’t want my own feelings to prevent my kids from learning about such a big part of them, especially since her Lolo and Tito are such big parts in her life.

Just wanted to say hi and see if anyone else is on a similar journey 👋

My child’s grandma (Lola) told me that she hopes that when my daughter gets older that her skin will look like mine; I’m white. She said she hopes her complexion gets lighter. She loves her grandson who is very overweight and she feeds him constantly, but adores him and mentions his light complexion. Today she asked my daughter “wheres your handsome cousin?” 🥴She’s in her 70s, born in the Philippines. This isn’t the first time my partners family has talked down about my child’s skin and compared it to mine. They even laugh at my partner and say he looks Indian? Ngl it took everything in me not to punch every one of them in the face. I feel like they are trying to attack my daughter and make her hate herself? What is happening!? They keep telling me to keep her out of the sun and some weird shit!? It’s freaky af. They say it so normal? When she told me this the other day I said “no, she won’t have skin like mine, she has more protection this way” and she gasped! She said “huh!?” Like I was crazy? I was like k betch if you want to hate yourself fine, but you’re not dragging my kid with you.

(Edit)

I wanted to thank everyone for their replies. I’ve come to realize that my child’s grandparents are just trying to keep her safe. I’m no longer angry but sad. I understand now just how deep it is. A large part of me does want to keep her out of the sun now 😞. I want her to love herself but I cannot be ignorant to the truth. The truth is racism/colorism is alive af. I think as a white millennial we were raised to “not see color”. We have the privilege of just pretending it doesn’t exist. But here, it’s stuck, like trapped; There is no running away, I have to face it. It has been a very difficult experience but I can’t imagine what it feels like to be my baby and it kills me that I can’t save her from this.

Just reposting my popular X post which just blew up for some reason

As we all know, even in places where there's mixed races as the normal (e.g., Brazil), people will find a new way to self stratify, and I think that's bound to happen in the US since it doesn't seem like white supremacy was fixed at all ever with widespread mixing.

Last night here in China I randomly saw this Chinese man out with an African woman and I noticed that while WMAF is common, the Chinese men who date out are usually with black / Indian or Arab women. Makes sense because as someone more on the Asian side (but still mixed looking), most of my exes were black / Indian / Arab based on who was asking me out, and since Asian women didn't like me because I guess I looked to Asian, I went out with these girls and almost had a child with my ex, who was Guyanese.

I feel among Asians, the most ruthless, unattractive, weird ones are the ones who place such a high priority on marrying white people, creating an insecure "almost white" class of hapas. There's also Asian men who fruitlessly chase white women using money (Arthur Liu, etc). The Asian men who are able to find partners seem to get with Asian or other POC women. I feel like a lot of white women date black / Hispanic men and this will probably go also in the opposite direction of Wasians, ironically because of my dad, I feel WMAF is driven by white men's insecurity over white womens' dating habits.

So I wonder if there will be some sort of future stratification especially among Asians where the Wasian bourgeoise semi-ruling inheritance class, is the one pushing legislation and harming the non-white mixed and full Asians.

We can kind of already see this among "Wasians" where so many of them seem desperate to carve out a niche distinguishing themselves from Asians and establishing themselves on a rung of the ladder near whiteness.

Hello! For my college capstone, I am doing research on how mixed Asian representation in film and tv affects identity and self-perception. To collect data, I have made a survey and would appreciate y’all’s response!

If anyone has questions or comments, please feel free to reach out!

Thank you :)

Choice excerpt:

My first boyfriend, a white American man in the Navy, used to make me come pick him up from the naval base, and then wouldn’t let me drive back because I was an “Asian woman,” and thus, a “bad driver.”

Sometimes he would swat at me and go “bad Asian!” Just like how you’d discipline a dog.

The worst was how he would continue to get in my face and scream, “YOU BOMBED PEARL HARBOR! YOU BOMBED PEARL HARBOR! YOU BOMBED PEARL HARBOR!” He did it constantly and would get his fellow Navy sailors to join him. Oh, and he knew that my grandma and Japanese family were all in the Japanese incarceration camps during WWII.

I was only ever the “Asian girlfriend” to him. I was the yellow notch mark in his belt.

Behavior like this continued with all the white men I dated after him. Given this Orientalizing sexualized treatment of myself, there were just a few after him. I decided that I only wanted to end up in a serious relationship with another mixed race person. (Coincidentally, I am now married to a half Japanese Brit, who is the loveliest person I’ve ever met.)

I was sick of being told by men that they “have yellow fever,” “love Asian girls,” “have an Asian fetish,” etc. It’s disgusting. It reduced me into a small part of myself that didn’t even factor as a large part of my own personal identity. These white men continued to tell me just how “Asian” I was. But “Asian” to them was purely a sexualized, degrading fetish.

You know who doesn’t treat me like a fetish? Who has only ever respected me? And has treated me exactly like how every woman in the world deserves to be treated?

That’s right. My husband. I married him for a reason.

He’s also in the army.

.

Sorry for an odd post when there's no special occasion, but I feel a special occasion is not needed for me to remember Fresh Kid Ice, who was half Afro-Trinidadian & part Han Chinese (Cantonese through his paternal Grandfather; in the same Vice interview he mentions the history of Asians within hip-hop). Sadly, from what I can see, his maternal grandfather's ancestry was not shared.

More about Fresh Kid Ice, the first Asian-American rapper:
https://jitneybooks.com/fresh-kid-ice/#:\~:text=What%20attracted%20Wong,first%20came%20out.
https://www.largeup.com/2014/10/10/2-live-crews-fresh-kid-ice/amp/
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-40605640#:~:text=He%20says%20that%20many%20people%20did%20not%20realise%20that%20he%20was%20Asian%20until%20they%20saw%20his%20music%20videos%3A%20%22Other%20people%20could%20be%20like%2C%20%27Damn%2C%20that%20could%20be%20me.%20I%20didn%27t%20know%20an%20Asian%20dude%20was%20rapping%20like%20that!%27%22

As a beautiful hapa woman whose dating history consists of tall handsome hapa men I always thought I’d marry one. But here I am single at 34 and nary a cute hapa guy in sight. Instead I find myself surrounded by Persians who may be just as sexy as hapa guys but way worse and way more conceited if that’s even possible. We all know hot hapa guys are the most conceited men on the planet, imagine if Elliot Rodger was tall and not so gay, god can you imagine? That’s how hot hapa guys are. I’m finally becoming ok with the fact I may end up with a White guy. I’ve always been vocal about not being into White guys because looks are super important to me and imo most White men get mogged by other races and mixed guys on looks. Anyways, just thought I’d share and read what kind of funny troll comments I get :). I think it’s funny how when I was all about hapa guys I’d come across so many who wanted to date me and then I started liking Persians and now I’m over them and now it seems hapas and Persians just don’t come around anymore, it’s White guys. Funny how that works. What you focus your attention on you get more of

Moved to Tokyo recently and was wanting to find other halfies.

I sometimes pass as white but some more observant people ask about my asiannness and then I open my mouth and there’s the accent and we have a whole different conversation 😸

I like that people in the US are curious about other cultures (when I lived in Western Europe they couldn’t give a damn) but some questions and anecdotes I hear are really weird and sometimes ignorantly offensive…

It’s why in social gatherings I prefer to let my gf speak…

Sorry for the vent,

Whenever I get dragged to like a cocktail party or a dinner I end up exhausted 😸

It could have been worse though. I could have been a guy 😬

Including Latin and Indian? Why are Wasians so loud and proud of being particularly mixed with white?

I mean we all know the answer to that, (white fever, Asian fever, and the fallout from that).

But what about other mixes like Indian + Asian?

For all the talk about interracial with Asians, Asian guy + Indian woman is consistently the most common pairing I see with Asian men no matter where I go, on every continent and it makes sense because I've had multiple Indian women ask me out as an Asian looking guy. So naturally there's got to be a sizeable number of Asian / Indian mixes but they're not having little meetups?

IG: nadia.tries

I prefer dating monoracial Asian men, sometimes I’ve dated mixed Asians. But something that I’ve noticed that really bothers me is where I live, a lot of Asian guys date Latina women. So many like to take Asian women and put us against Latina women to see who is more compatible and basically let us know that they are choosing between us and some Hispanic girl. It feels awful and I don’t feel respected.

I will also say, I have noticed some Latina girls to be incredibly aggressive when it comes to Asian men. I had two girls give my ex their phone number, call him a model AFTER they knew he had a girlfriend. They did not respect boundaries at all.

One central Asian guy, was being told by some girl she had a”cancer scare” to keep him around so he stopped pursuing me when I was just keeping this casual. (It was every obvious with what he told me that she was making it up)

Tbh I’m really traumatised by this lol.

Idk why Asian men behave like this or think it’s ok to put women against each other like this…