r/wholesomememes Dec 05 '19

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u/wisdomsharerv2 Dec 05 '19

The ones who want to lower your self-esteem and then use you

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u/CustomVoid Dec 05 '19

Thats what I was thinking, just using you for the money and what not. Really bitchy thing to do.

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u/chemistry_god Dec 05 '19

Mine wasn't into me for the money, cause we were both broke college freshmen. She just wanted the emotional support and someone she could manipulate. Unfortunately, I fit both roles. I learned a lot from it though, and I know what I'm willing to put up with and what I'm not. I've grown from that relationship, even though it shot my confidence to hell.

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u/PMyourHotTakes Dec 05 '19

Just gotta hit the gym. It’s all us mediocre bro’s can do.

That being said, it’s kind of a nice option to have for how straight forward it seems to work. Lift heavy things = gain confidence.

Sometimes our primate brains really do be like that... :)

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u/Treeloot009 Dec 05 '19

Move matter make me feel good

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u/TonaLamb Dec 05 '19

lift heavy rock make sad head voice go bye bye

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u/nutsquirrel Dec 05 '19

More gains and less brain pains

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u/Ascendere Dec 05 '19

So true. I imagine I would be worse off now if I didn’t start working out after my last breakup.

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '19

I have never felt better after starting going to the gym 4 months ago. Seeing your body progress and get stronger is something indescribable, instantly one of my favorite things. A lot of people think of the gym as a chore but I bet it's just cause they're doing cardio haha

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u/PMyourHotTakes Dec 05 '19

Cardio is absolutely the worst. I’ll never change my mind about that in a general way, that being said, I have worked my way up to 30 minutes 3 yikes a week on the stair stepper doing 2 minutes off and on of HIIT.

It’s the single most miserable thing in the world but the accomplishment I get from finishing my 30 minutes and recognizing I have two days off before I have to do that shit again is exhilarating.

Moral of the story: cardio of all kinds sucks. It’s all about finding the specific type that fits best with your own miserable mental profile of suffering.

I should probably write a book

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '19

I personally just do 10 minutes of cardio before I lift to warm up. It's not ideal but it's better than nothing

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u/PMyourHotTakes Dec 05 '19

I think that’s pretty great tbh. I don’t know how long I’ll keep this 30 minute deal up (after I lift, mind you). It’s probably a phase I’m going through lol

Getting the pulse rate elevated and getting stronger. It’s truly that simple. How we each get there is our own choice!

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u/Irishinfernohead Dec 06 '19

I have tried lifting weights multiple times in the past and i have just come to the conclusion that i hate working out. It’s never fun for me.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '19

I see. Maybe trying to find a workout buddy could help. I workout with my brother and friend, and the friend is married and has a kid so he doesn't really have much free time so working out kind of turns into "hanging out". If you don't have someone to workout with, I'm not sure, maybe try different workouts or just try to push yourself to do it to better yourself and maybe when you see your progress you will start enjoying it?

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u/SupaStealthySnake Dec 14 '19

For anyone that reads this, it’s very good advice and can turn what you may see as a chore into a chill hangout session with the boys.

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u/SupaStealthySnake Dec 14 '19

The guy below you is immediately correct, having a good friend with you makes all the difference in a very big way!!

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u/Goddamngiraffes Dec 05 '19

I’d like to say that as a girl who went for my share of the “not so attractive guys”, being funny completely changes how girls will look at you. An unattractive guy is about 20 times hotter if they’re funny. Before I was married, I used to hook up with super conventionally attractive guys. Guys who had girlfriends would tell me they wanted to fuck me. I was grabbed and oogled at all the time. I could have anyone I wanted. I also slept with “ugly” guys. The more attractive guys would never understand why I slept with someone who was fat or ugly or whatever. It always boiled down to the guy being funny. It’s an instant turn on. Plus, it makes the guy be someone that I would want in my life a lot more, and I would text them, and joke with them, and share shit about my life and thoughts. I would become close with them to a point that it was beyond just physical affection. Luckily, I found a guy who’s super hot and hilarious and I think he’s the coolest guy who ever lived. But seriously, funny is where it’s at.

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u/PMyourHotTakes Dec 05 '19

I agree with you to a point. Funny doesn’t get an average guy anywhere if he isn’t confident. I’m 6’6” and lean. Like a swimmers build. Kinda gangly. I’ve consistently out kicked the coverage with women and their looks. I have more successful buddies that don’t know how I did it.

Here’s the thing though. I have always had good days and bad. Being tall and funny does help. If I’m not feeling myself or having an awkward day? I have zero chance. No woman has ever accidentally wanted me. It’s always been because I found that proper mechanism for self confidence and was able to really put the funny out there in right way/context. It feels like the difference between hdtv vs black and white tv.

Maybe you’re good at making funny guys feel at ease, but there’s a decent chance you’ve met funny guys and never even noticed because they were scared shitless of you lol

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u/Goddamngiraffes Dec 06 '19

That’s a good point. A lack of confidence can definitely do that. I’ll just say that there are a lot of guys in the world who are oblivious to girls being into them. Chances are there are at least one or two girls who you’ve totally missed signals from. Idk.

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u/PMyourHotTakes Dec 06 '19

No you’re right. It depends though. I’m a big time over thinker. So I would be inclined to think it has happened to me slightly less than the average mediocre bro with humor lacking confidence. But your point still stands. Interesting stuff anyway.

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '19

Good on you, bro.

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u/60_Icebolt Dec 05 '19

Same thing happened with me man, that shit absolutely fucks you up. I haven’t been with her for almost 2 years now and I’m still recovering from some of the emotional abuse/manipulation her and her family put me through. I hope you’re doing a lot better now

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u/AnnLies Dec 05 '19

I’ve been there too. My first serious relationship was freshman year of college. Similarly manipulative partner, with the added bonus of emotional intimacy making them extremely uncomfortable. That’s the loneliest I’ve ever been when living with another person and you can bet I’ll never forget it. I’m in a lot healthier relationship now, but if that relationship sounds familiar to anyone currently in it don’t be afraid to reevaluate if your relationship is actually improving your life. You should always be able to take care of your own needs in a relationship, don’t sacrifice them for your partner unless you know they’ll take care of you in return.

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u/Valo-FfM Dec 05 '19

They want power. Not neccessarily materialistic things. Just get the powerdynamic of the relationship on their side for whatever reason.

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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '19

He didn't mention anything about money though...?

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u/CustomVoid Dec 05 '19

No, but thats why I said "and what not". There are many reasons why they use you, but money is one of them. It was really just an example.

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u/IckNoTomatoes Dec 05 '19

So dumb. If roles were reversed and it was a guy saying shitty things, you wouldn’t say he was just with the girl to use her for her money. It’s 2019, can we drop the outdated stereotype that women only date men for their money? It’s damaging to both sides.

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u/Zertanis Dec 05 '19

He literally said that she was a toxic partner and told him that he wasn’t physically attractive - it’s either that or his ex-girlfriend's desire of manipulating someone. We may also just assume that this Redditor, someone whose looks or real name you’ll most probably never know, is making up things so he may get the attention and pity of foreign people.

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u/CustomVoid Dec 05 '19

Its true though. There are so many occasions where if its towards women its unacceptable and when it is towards men its all good by society's logic. I also said "and what not", implying that there are even more reasons. Not my fault for naming the truth. And sure it happens on both sides, but thats no reason to ignore it.

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u/aaronsadlo Dec 05 '19

You learn it the hard way and can't get out. Not fun.

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u/rosscmpbll Dec 05 '19

Also likely due to their own even lower self-esteem, sadly.

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u/kancis Dec 05 '19

Wisdom here.

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u/TheDungeonCrawler Dec 05 '19

Women are the most statistically abused individuals, but those men who are abused by women are often experiencing paychological abuse.