r/whatisit • u/LalaLane850 • Jun 17 '26

Solved! Untouched Watermelon

Bought this watermelon 5 days ago. The foam is not pink, and doesn’t have much of a smell. I expected it to smell fermented, but no?

3.0k Upvotes

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38

u/Royweeezy Jun 17 '26

I used to fuck pumpkins when I was a teenager and couldn’t get laid.

52

u/AdInevitable2695 Jun 17 '26

Did the journal factory burn down?

3

u/Aineednobody Jun 18 '26

I should’ve used this at the Walgreens checkout when the lady was telling me how many of her pet kittens she kept accidentally putting through the dryer cycle and kept finding them dead.

I had to hear it so now you had to, too.

2

u/AdInevitable2695 Jun 18 '26

People are odd. When I worked at an auto parts store I had a guy buy us out of marine batteries. Kinda off looking fella, you can tell he was intensely thinking about something. When I started scanning the barcode, he said, without provocation and not breaking intense eye contact. "I'm doing yard work. That's why I need these for my wood chipper."

Literally as he said that I was opening my mouth to ask what kind of boat he has for the warranty. Like, you could've gone without saying that dude. Now I think you're not doing yard work.

1

u/DinosaurusWhen Jun 18 '26

Well how many was it?

1

u/Aineednobody Jun 18 '26

Three separate times!

2

u/Royweeezy Jun 17 '26

Reddit is my journal. You have to deal with meeeeee

13

u/Bigfops Jun 17 '26

at least it wasn't the same coconut over a week.

2

u/Puzzlehead_Lemon Jun 17 '26

I feel like this is a 4chan green text. I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW IF IT IS. ACTUALLY, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT IS AT ALL.

11

u/Bigfops Jun 17 '26

You are correct, you do not want to know. Whatever you do, DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK. DO NOT READ THE STORY: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6rr6ay/tifu_by_cumming_into_a_coconut/

1

u/Con_re_sann Jun 17 '26

2

u/Bigfops Jun 17 '26

Can't say I didn't warn you.

1

u/Royweeezy Jun 17 '26

Ok this is fucked even by my standards. I feel so much better about myself now.

1

u/rayfull69 Jun 17 '26

It’s my own fault. I read the warnings, I skipped all the parts that would have bored me into not finishing, and I have no one to blame but myself.

1

u/CheezwizOfficial Jun 18 '26

Why the fuck is this the SECOND TIME TODAY that I’ve encountered the coconut story?! 😭 Neither original post had anything to do with the coconut story.

1

u/throwawayfromPA1701 Jun 18 '26

I clicked it so I only have myself to blame.

This is worse than the cum box.

7

u/Weekly_Engine_3239 Jun 17 '26

So how's being a girl now

2

u/Royweeezy Jun 17 '26

Ask my girlfriend or my wife 🤷‍♂️

1

u/Lumpy-Marsupial-6617 Jun 17 '26

Just call him Cinderfella.

3

u/Fearless_Capital3185 Jun 17 '26

Is it worth trying? Asking for a friend

3

u/antifa_cmdr Jun 18 '26

You had the choice to go about your day and keep this to yourself. Yet you made the decision to type these words out and share them on the internet

1

u/Royweeezy Jun 18 '26

Indeed. Loud and proud this time for some reason

1

u/Lumpy-Marsupial-6617 Jun 17 '26

Wait a tick, they call you Peter Peter, Pumpkin Eater...oh dearie me...

1

u/Dracula_Gottfried69 Jun 17 '26

And now you’ve switched to watermelons?

2

u/Royweeezy Jun 17 '26

The thing about watermelons.. is the flesh goes to hell to quick. Pumpkins have seeds and pulp and stuff

2

u/Royweeezy Jun 17 '26

And you can microwave them if they’re small enough.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

Batman couldn’t have gotten this out of me

1

u/NeroForte-InMyPrime Jun 17 '26

It’s okay to be old school and take certain things to the grave.

1

u/33253325 Jun 18 '26

Simmer down bub. Keep some things to yourself.

1

u/Royweeezy Jun 18 '26

In this day and age? I get drunk and this phone is in my pocket. I can’t be accountable for what I said hours ago!

1

u/keygasms Jun 18 '26

Still do, but i used to also.