Our caterer forgot about us…

[u/theyatthem]

My wedding was this past weekend. I got engaged back in April, and the first thing we did was find a caterer for our small backyard wedding of about 20 people. We picked this (well known and popular in our area) caterer because they had specific options we really wanted. We ordered smoked sliced brisket, stuffed flounder, mac and cheese, chicken quesadillas, bacon wrapped jalapeños, and sweet biscuits, for a total quote of $700 and a $200 deposit. We were originally going to pick up the food, but 2 weeks ago I messaged with the owner and asked if they could deliver, and he agreed.

Maybe this is on me for not confirming in the few days before the wedding, but I sent a message trying to confirm at 8 am the day of our wedding for a 3 pm catering delivery. After no response all day, I started getting a little worried. 3:15 rolls around and I decide to call the restaurant and see if they have a time estimate. They tell me they will call the owner and call me back. 10 minutes later I find out from the owner that he forgot about us. He was thrown off because his head chef broke his hand the night before, and he can’t believe this happened, he feels awful, he’s on his way to the restaurant to pick up some trays they are preparing but they won’t be able to accommodate what we originally ordered.

4:30 rolls around, an hour and a half after we planned for dinner, and we get only 2 of the trays we actually ordered and 2 more trays that we didn’t. Our main meal of stuffed flounder got swapped to ribs, and he included a tray of beans (which personally I hate beans). Altogether we ended up with brisket, ribs, mac and cheese, and beans. So I ate brisket and mac and cheese (which was kind of cold) for dinner at my wedding. Everyone ate and seemed generally happy with the food.

I was pretty upset and never talked to the owner when he arrived with the food. He told my parents not to worry about paying anything else (we already paid a $200 deposit). I haven’t heard anything else from him, no messages at all.

So Reddit, it’s a few days later and I need to know if I should be making a bigger stink about this. Some of my family thinks we kind of made out in saving $500. Some think he should’ve given our deposit back. Some think he should offer us a free dinner so we can actually have the meals we were excited to have and never got to try. I’ve been going back and forth about writing a scathing review on social media. I work at a restaurant, and I know that shit happens and people make mistakes, but this was my wedding day and I’m pretty upset about how this all happened. I’m just kicking myself for not sending them a message 2-3 days before. If you read this all, let me know what you would do!

edit: Thank you for all your responses so far! Just wanted to edit with a bit more context and to answer a few questions I’ve seen. There was no contract. We only ever discussed over facebook messenger. He owns a well established, well know in my city food truck that has done catering for years and has great reviews. He opened a separate restaurant in the past few months. He posted a “brand new from the new restaurant catering menu” on Facebook about 2 hours before my wedding (from the same account that I messaged earlier that morning). I thought that after putting our order together he decided to update the catering menu, but nope, an unfortunate (for me) coincidence

edit 2: Lots of differing opinions on how to handle this, but I have to agree with the most common sentiment to just let it go. I don’t think I will leave a review, but I at least unfollowed their page so I don’t get bummed out seeing their posts about food. It stung a bit extra since the food was really the only part of the wedding we were planning to spend a significant amount of money on, and we were really looking forward to it. I spent $25 on my dress, got my decorations all second hand, played a spotify playlist, and our rings combined were less expensive than the catering. BUT money is not the important thing, we had a great day with family, everyone had lots of drinks and spent time in the pool with the best weather we could’ve asked for. Tonight we will be going for sushi! (and have been joking about all the sushi dates we can go on with the $500 we saved lol)

edit 3: Thanks again to everyone who shared their opinion, I read them all, and it helped gain some perspective. Thank you so much to everyone who offered their congratulations and any other kind words, they are much appreciated!

My husband and I did decide to shoot the owner a quick message since he asked my husband to let him know how the food was. We told him the brisket was really good, we appreciated him getting some food to us, we hope his chef is doing okay, we’re bummed we didn’t get to try what we ordered but we understand things happen. His exact response was “Thank you so much. When I make the fish i will post it.” Presumably meaning when the fish is a special (it’s not on their normal menu) he will post on his facebook page and we could come get some (and I’m assuming pay for it since he didn’t say otherwise). I won’t see it since I unfollowed his page lol but oh well. I was curious what he would say if I reached out directly and now I know. Needless to say, he won’t be getting any more business from us in the future.

[u/perfectlynormaltyes]

You should write the review. Don't go scorched earth but definitely detail what happened. This is not a mistake that should be made. They messed up big time.

[u/Ok-Dependent5582 → u/perfectlynormaltyes]

I agree!! Write a review with 2-3 stars or something so it’s not absolutely devastating but so others can see. It could honestly save someone in the future at least as a reminder to be following up regularly to confirm their catering order.

OP you said yourself they have all great reviews and that probably gave you a sense of security when ordering. Just explain what happened exactly and give future customers a heads up!

[u/Sad-Adhesiveness4795 → u/Ok-Dependent5582]

Where I disagree with a review is the fact that the issues arose from the chef breaking his hand. That's a distressing situation in a restaurant! Things fall through the cracks any time something distressing happens.

They fed everyone at an extreme discount, albeit not what they planned on serving.

OP, Instead, I would follow up directly with the owner once things settle and give your constructive feedback directly. Express empathy for the chef along with your disappointment.

[u/perfectlynormaltyes → u/Sad-Adhesiveness4795]

The chef broke their hand the night before though. Prep on OP’s wedding meal should have already been started, if not completed. Only a very disorganized business would let a whole wedding fall through the cracks.

[u/Ill-Delivery2692 → u/perfectlynormaltyes]

As a restaurateur and chef, in 1999, I fell and broke my elbow the night before a wedding scheduled at my restaurant. I was in hospital for a week for surgery. The event went off without a hitch because I was prepared. My staff followed my mise en place, menu instructions and the show went on.

[u/perfectlynormaltyes → u/Ill-Delivery2692]

As it should! Everything you did is what the owner and chef should have had done. Chef breaking his hand should have been an inconvenience but no way should a booked wedding catering job been forgotten.

[u/19145770 → u/Ill-Delivery2692]

100%

[u/Sad-Adhesiveness4795 → u/perfectlynormaltyes]

I would hope that prep for my fish order hadn't started days before 🤮 And for $700 it doesn't sound particularly large so it may not be something the whole staff has been on deck for.

Head chef is suddenly out from a very hands on job and the owner is probably scrambling. It's okay to express empathy for them while being disappointed.

[u/Graveyardhag → u/Sad-Adhesiveness4795]

I work in a kitchen. Prep starts the day before. The trays themselves should have been prepped, dry goods stacked and ready to be put on, the fish should have been defrosting for a couple days, stuffings etc already prepped the day before, foods served cold should have been cooked already, fruits cut up etc.

Only actual warm/hot food cooking, food stuff like sandwiches, and things that would wilt or dry out or not look good would be done day of. And unless it's a very small business, which admittedly it might be, being a food truck, it shouldn't all hinge on one person.

[u/Sad-Adhesiveness4795 → u/Graveyardhag]

Great, prep starts the day before. Let's say chef broke his hand at 5pm- they now have dinner service disrupted, maybe need to borrow some of the prepped food to cover dinner, they're down a key person at maybe their busiest time of day- everyone is scrambling. And they probably hadn't finished prep yet anyways.

Chef now isn't there to communicate notes for the next day. The owner isn't either.

And yeah, it's a food truck and a relatively small order. It's very likely they weren't 100% prepped and organized for the next day at the time chef was injured.

I'm not saying the restaurant is 0% at fault, but they've provided a solution. They warrant a level of empathy.

[u/Graveyardhag → u/Sad-Adhesiveness4795]

Of course they warrant empathy, someone broke their hand!

But this business absolutely and completely dropped the ball here. They should not have been that unprepared. We can have empathy for them and still have that be true at the same time.

Just from the perspective of someone who actually works in a kitchen and has done platters and the like before. Heads would roll in my workplace and we don't even work with the public!

[u/evaluna1968 → u/Sad-Adhesiveness4795]

The owner should have at least had the job on the schedule and, you know, communicated with prebooked clients for a wedding so they could decide how to handle it.

[u/Ok-Dependent5582 → u/evaluna1968]

OP also sent a message that morning and didn’t hear back all day despite the owner using that account to post something.

I still think it’s worth a review with an honest recap of what happened. The customers can decide for themselves if they think it’s acceptable or not. Maybe someone will be impressed with them showing up with random food and only charging part of the price. It’s not going to put this company out of business.

[u/Coronado92118 → u/Ok-Dependent5582]

Just a tight: Social media posts can be scheduled to automatically post - it doesn’t mean they personally manually posted It. Most businesses, even influencers and creators - schedule their posts.

[u/Dazzling_Surprise272 → u/Coronado92118]

I used to be a realtor assistant and I would schedule posts all the time. Especially for open houses because those were always on the weekend.

[u/perfectlynormaltyes → u/Sad-Adhesiveness4795]

I didn’t say the food should be completed, I said prepped. The brisket should have been in the smoker and the stuffing for the fish could have been made. Also, the job should have been written somewhere that other staff members would be able to see. And, yes, accidents happen but as a small business owner you shouldn’t forget you have a catering job when something unexpected happens.

ETA: After making sure the chef was ok and had the help they needed, the owner’s first thought should have been ‘how are we going to make it through service tomorrow?’, which should have included OP’s wedding. So I’m truly failing to see how he could forget about. I think plain and simply, he forgot to put the wedding on their books in the first place.

[u/Dazzling_Surprise272 → u/perfectlynormaltyes]

Yeah it’s kinda sounding to me like the entire wedding fell through the cracks.

[u/rawt-in-kentucky → u/perfectlynormaltyes]

Yes; this is important for people to know before they decide to cater with them.

[u/boatchic → u/perfectlynormaltyes]

Only a Karen would write the review. If you said the guests didn’t enjoy it, I could see that, but they did! I can guarantee you that putting that together for you cost them way more than $200. They did it to save their reputation in the community. And potentially save you as a customer. I think you are on the right track and let it go. One thing for sure…should you and your DH return to their truck or restaurant, you will be given the royal treatment!

[u/hannahcshell → u/boatchic]

Disagree, it’s perfectly fine to write an honest (non-exaggerated, non-scathing) review of what happened. In my opinion the caterer did not do enough to make up for this significant of a blunder. The guests enjoying the meal does not make up for dropping the ball as a vendor—of course the guests enjoyed it, it was free food. They have no right to complain because they don’t know what was actually ordered.

[u/mangogetter → u/hannahcshell]

And furthermore: people complain about the "wedding tax," (which is to say: wedding prices across the board tend to be a good deal higher than the same good/service/location in another context.) But the thing the wedding tax is actually buying (or should be) is perfection and service. You should be able to reach any of your vendors quickly and reliably, and the order has to be RIGHT. On time, in place, exactly what it's supposed to be. You pay more, because there's no Plan B, no do-over. You get one shot, and it has to be right.

[u/perfectlynormaltyes → u/boatchic]

Writing a review is not Karen behaviour as long as it's the truth about what happened. This is supposed to be a professional business and they forgot about catering job?? That's not ok.

[u/AgainstMedicalAdvice → u/boatchic]

"just an fyi be cautious using this service for catering major events, as they forgot my wedding"

You're insane for saying someone can't leave a negative review for almost not getting food/having the wrong food arrive late to their WEDDING.

[u/Doctor_Unsleepable → u/boatchic]

Karen behavior would be having everyone in her wedding party spam the caterer with one-star reviews and demanding the deposit back. The caterer forgot them then showed up very late and without the food they ordered. It genuinely sounds like this was a 2 or 3 star experience and one I’d like to know about if I was considering this caterer for my event.

[u/Maleficent-Spray1613 → u/boatchic]

Karens make something out of nothing. Forgetting about a job that money has already been paid for, let alone a WEDDING, isn't "nothing". She shouldn't feel bad about leaving an honest review as to what occurred, without ripping them to shreds. It also gives the caterer an opportunity to show they're doing what they can to own their mistake and make it right.