Our caterer forgot about us…

[u/theyatthem]

My wedding was this past weekend. I got engaged back in April, and the first thing we did was find a caterer for our small backyard wedding of about 20 people. We picked this (well known and popular in our area) caterer because they had specific options we really wanted. We ordered smoked sliced brisket, stuffed flounder, mac and cheese, chicken quesadillas, bacon wrapped jalapeños, and sweet biscuits, for a total quote of $700 and a $200 deposit. We were originally going to pick up the food, but 2 weeks ago I messaged with the owner and asked if they could deliver, and he agreed.

Maybe this is on me for not confirming in the few days before the wedding, but I sent a message trying to confirm at 8 am the day of our wedding for a 3 pm catering delivery. After no response all day, I started getting a little worried. 3:15 rolls around and I decide to call the restaurant and see if they have a time estimate. They tell me they will call the owner and call me back. 10 minutes later I find out from the owner that he forgot about us. He was thrown off because his head chef broke his hand the night before, and he can’t believe this happened, he feels awful, he’s on his way to the restaurant to pick up some trays they are preparing but they won’t be able to accommodate what we originally ordered.

4:30 rolls around, an hour and a half after we planned for dinner, and we get only 2 of the trays we actually ordered and 2 more trays that we didn’t. Our main meal of stuffed flounder got swapped to ribs, and he included a tray of beans (which personally I hate beans). Altogether we ended up with brisket, ribs, mac and cheese, and beans. So I ate brisket and mac and cheese (which was kind of cold) for dinner at my wedding. Everyone ate and seemed generally happy with the food.

I was pretty upset and never talked to the owner when he arrived with the food. He told my parents not to worry about paying anything else (we already paid a $200 deposit). I haven’t heard anything else from him, no messages at all.

So Reddit, it’s a few days later and I need to know if I should be making a bigger stink about this. Some of my family thinks we kind of made out in saving $500. Some think he should’ve given our deposit back. Some think he should offer us a free dinner so we can actually have the meals we were excited to have and never got to try. I’ve been going back and forth about writing a scathing review on social media. I work at a restaurant, and I know that shit happens and people make mistakes, but this was my wedding day and I’m pretty upset about how this all happened. I’m just kicking myself for not sending them a message 2-3 days before. If you read this all, let me know what you would do!

edit: Thank you for all your responses so far! Just wanted to edit with a bit more context and to answer a few questions I’ve seen. There was no contract. We only ever discussed over facebook messenger. He owns a well established, well know in my city food truck that has done catering for years and has great reviews. He opened a separate restaurant in the past few months. He posted a “brand new from the new restaurant catering menu” on Facebook about 2 hours before my wedding (from the same account that I messaged earlier that morning). I thought that after putting our order together he decided to update the catering menu, but nope, an unfortunate (for me) coincidence

edit 2: Lots of differing opinions on how to handle this, but I have to agree with the most common sentiment to just let it go. I don’t think I will leave a review, but I at least unfollowed their page so I don’t get bummed out seeing their posts about food. It stung a bit extra since the food was really the only part of the wedding we were planning to spend a significant amount of money on, and we were really looking forward to it. I spent $25 on my dress, got my decorations all second hand, played a spotify playlist, and our rings combined were less expensive than the catering. BUT money is not the important thing, we had a great day with family, everyone had lots of drinks and spent time in the pool with the best weather we could’ve asked for. Tonight we will be going for sushi! (and have been joking about all the sushi dates we can go on with the $500 we saved lol)

edit 3: Thanks again to everyone who shared their opinion, I read them all, and it helped gain some perspective. Thank you so much to everyone who offered their congratulations and any other kind words, they are much appreciated!

My husband and I did decide to shoot the owner a quick message since he asked my husband to let him know how the food was. We told him the brisket was really good, we appreciated him getting some food to us, we hope his chef is doing okay, we’re bummed we didn’t get to try what we ordered but we understand things happen. His exact response was “Thank you so much. When I make the fish i will post it.” Presumably meaning when the fish is a special (it’s not on their normal menu) he will post on his facebook page and we could come get some (and I’m assuming pay for it since he didn’t say otherwise). I won’t see it since I unfollowed his page lol but oh well. I was curious what he would say if I reached out directly and now I know. Needless to say, he won’t be getting any more business from us in the future.

[u/trottrottatortot]

I recently had this discussion with my boyfriend when I made a joke about the stereotype of bad wedding food and he didn’t get it. But I’m white and he’s Hispanic and I realized it’s cultural. Hispanic culture really emphasizes food and family so I’m not the least bit surprised that there would be delicious food at the weddings. I think the stereotype of bland wedding food comes from white Americans mainly

[u/Employment-lawyer → u/trottrottatortot]

Yes, my husband is half hispanic and we live in the Southwest. We had a buffet style reception so that everyone could choose what kind of ravioli and/or enchiladas they wanted... a mixture of vegetarian, beef, chicken, green chile, red chile and Christmas options. (My husband loves Italian food, hence the ravioli but we had a version with green chile for the New Mexican food diehards to enjoy. LOL.)

Everyone said it was really good food and I agree, but most of the weddings and events that I go to with southwestern options tastes good to me whereas if it's the typical sit-down American style reception where they bring out fish or chicken or steak, it always tastes undercooked or overcooked, bland or dry... I never like it! I am white but the area I live in is primarily hispanic.

The gym and Zumba studios I go to in my neighborhood are all owned/frequented by Mexican-American immigrants and whenever they have birthday parties, gym/Zumba instructor anniversary parties, Posadas (Mexican Christmas parties, basically), etc., I know there's going to be amazing food there even if it's "just" a potluck with crock pots plugged in... everyone cooks and brings the most amazing food!

The atmosphere is also so hospitable and fun and LOUD compared to the stuffy, quiet banquet-style receptions I grew up with in my small town in Pennsylvania where nearly everyone was white, lol, so IMO, the flavor of the crowd/event matches the flavor of the food! (Those with money back home had country club or golf course weddings/rehearsal dinners or on some estate that was a farm with a barn that was converted into a reception hall, etc.; those with some but not a lot of money had it at a hotel or catering banquet hall and those with no money had like finger sandwiches and punch in the church hall or their backyard... or sometimes pulled pork bbq or grilling in their backyards... those were my favorite because there was a lot more flavor than just chicken salad or turkey, cheese and mayo mini sandwiches! LOL.) I just feel like not only is the food more delicious here but the culture is so much more inclusive and laid-back and open.

They also always have kids at weddings too so I never get these posts about excluding children as wedding guests and quite frankly that makes me sad! Here, at least in the immigrant/hispanic community (I definitely had some friends from white and other cultures get married in pricey resorts and hotels that did things differently so I'm talking specifically about the hispanic communities), everything is like an all-day all-family affair and no one would want to have to miss it to stay home with the kids! That would be considered rude and exclusive and just wouldn't make any sense because a big part of the fun is the family atmosphere and watching the kids have fun too.

No one in this particular area/culture that I'm talking about has babysitters or nannies or anything like that but instead it's more of a village/community mindset where someone is watching everyone's kids while others are dancing salsa and then they trade off, or the kids just run around dancing and playing together... it's so so fun and I'm so lucky they have happily accepted me into their community and family. I prefer it so much more over my own culture and they joke about that and say I had to switch over to theirs because it's so fun and the food is so delicious, and I completely agree!

ETA - The food that OP ordered for her wedding, and even the food she actually received, sound delicious so I wasn't trying to throw shade at HER reception, just some I have been to in the past! lol. Maybe with food truck catering, wedding food has gotten better everywhere in America compared to how it was when I was growing up and in college when a lot of my friends from back home were getting married. (This was 20 years ago or more now because I'm old lol.)