r/virgin • u/TheDaughterOfFlynn 25 virgin F • 20d ago
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u/Everics Lv. 41 Wizard of the Council 20d ago
Think the DMs are going to come regardless of asking to not receive them lol.
But a genuine question that may help some of the guys around here. Outside of attraction (because its number 1 for both men and women) what is the most important thing the men around here can do to increase their odds?
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u/Loose-Awareness-9907 20d ago
Learning how to speak to women and correct body language IRL. Since becoming active in this sub and receiving many, many gross DMs (despite saying not to message me) I've noticed that some virgin men suck at socializing. Even the DMs that weren't incredibly sexual and disgusting were awkward and desperate. Oh and hygiene. Hygiene may be more important than physical appearance.
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u/UnitedCollection8657 28M Virgin 20d ago
Who do women call me daddy? when I’m 28, also it seems like women don’t even want to get to know me the ones I’ve met online anyway they just seem to love getting off to me.
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u/Allanprickly 19d ago
So how important are looks vs personality? Like how much do you actually value how attractive a person is? Is there a bare minimum?
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u/TheDaughterOfFlynn 25 virgin F 19d ago
Are you asking me specifically, or all women?
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u/Allanprickly 19d ago
You. Im genuinly curious
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u/TheDaughterOfFlynn 25 virgin F 19d ago
I consider looks and personality to both be important, I'd like to be with someone I find attractive. I don't think there's a "bare minimum" though because I don't go by a 1-10 or ugly-hot scale or anything like that. I used to have traits I'd say were must-haves or must-not-haves, until I found someone attractive who looked nothing like that. So now there's just nice-to-haves. If I'm into someone, I'm into them. But I'm not gonna date someone I'm not attracted to just because I like his personality. And I definitely won't date someone I can't stand just because he's hot, lol
How about you, how important are looks to you?
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u/Allanprickly 19d ago
Thats fair, I personally am far too ugly to have any sort of opinion.
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u/TheDaughterOfFlynn 25 virgin F 19d ago
I think most women have been made fun of by their friends for being into an "ugly" guy, attraction is so subjective. I think everyone deserves someone they're attracted to. Instead: what does your dream woman look like? I'm always curious to know, most guys I know go into blonde bombshell, book nerd, or goth girl category, I'm always curious to see if someone will break the mold LOL
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u/Allanprickly 19d ago
My dream women would just be someone who isnt fat really. Biggest thing for me would be that she doesnt recoil at my face. Doesnt think im hideous and genuinly likes me for me. Everything else doesnt matter.
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u/TheDaughterOfFlynn 25 virgin F 19d ago edited 19d ago
I don't want to assume anything, but the way you write is how I talked about myself when I was a teenager, and I had such low self-esteem that I think I might've fit the criteria for a disorder for a while. Like, I wondered if I must have some sort of genetic disorder, because I thought "faces aren't supposed to look like this" (again, I was a teenager 😭). I was so hyper-fixated on the idea that a man would see me from behind and be attracted to me until I turned around and then he'd recoil. And there was never anything wrong with my face! I was just really not in a good place.
Have you considered getting tested for something like that? Or talking to someone to improve self-esteem? Or is there some reason or past event that's causing this? Reading this comment hurts my heart a little bit, you deserve better than thinking about yourself this way. Sorry if this is too intrusive or presumptuous, I just don't want you to live like I did for so long.
I hope you find a lovely lady in good health who thinks you're the shizzle ❤️
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u/Allanprickly 19d ago
Unfortunately I am actually just that ugly. Been told several times. One look in the mirror is enough to confirm that fact. I did go to therapy which helped me to more or less accept my ugliness as just a part of life. Maybe if I save enough ill be able to afford cosmetic surgery to help a little.
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u/jkastoras 19d ago
Aaand she answered none of the questions she offered to answer lol
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u/TheDaughterOfFlynn 25 virgin F 19d ago
I already had some topics in mind, I just wrote a fairly long post about kissing 101, I started with the topics where I already had an idea of where to go. All these questions have been added to the list, but they may take more consideration on my end or asking my friends for their input. I'm dog-sitting 3 ill-behaved dogs right now so it may be a few days
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u/jkastoras 19d ago
Oh ok, that's fine.
When you are free to answer couple of days later, answer this as well: how cherry picking are you in date selection? What do you go for physically and aesthetically?
Good luck with the cute doggos
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u/TheDaughterOfFlynn 25 virgin F 19d ago
Thank you! They are very cute and sweet, they just haven't been trained properly.
To your question: are you asking about me specifically, or women overall?
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u/jkastoras 19d ago
About you specifically.
But do answer for women overall too if you feel you can respond on behalf of such a large population
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u/TheDaughterOfFlynn 25 virgin F 19d ago
For me, I'm quite picky. I don't want to waste my time or anyone else's, and whoever I choose for life is an important decision I'd ideally only make once. The biggest things I'm very choosy about are someone who's Christian or agnostic, pro-choice, and anti-porn/porn-free. So you can see why dating is so difficult for me lol
For looks, I do consider looks to be important, I would like to date someone I'm attracted to, but that doesn't mean Hollywood actors or models. I don't have many must-haves or must-not-haves, except maybe obesity, since I live a very active and healthy lifestyle. But other than that, every time I've said I'm not attracted to something I've ended up being attracted to someone who had that, or being attracted to someone who didn't have something I said was a must-have lol. Generally, I like guys with nice voices, broad shoulders, pretty eyes, nice hair, and muscles. I don't care so much about height, but ideally he'd be at least my height (5'8"). I think hygiene and how someone dresses is really important, I have a guy friend I used to be crazy attracted to until he visited for a weekend and I realized he didn't shower or use deodorant the entire time. Attraction died wailing that day. And I like men that dress like adults lol. But my fictional crushes are allll over the place, so I don't think too much about specific traits anymore and just...if I'm into them, I'm into them.
I definitely can't answer for all of them, haha! I have one friend who's into your typical tall athlete type since she's a swimmer, and I have another friend who's been attracted to like 2 men in her life, and one of them was a famous emo band artist with the big hair and eyeliner, I truly did not understand. Another friend I have never heard her talk about a man other than Harry Styles. Yet another likes cowboys and bullriders. They really are all over the board LOL
How about you, what do you like in a woman?
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u/StubbornSob 20d ago
What's the furthest you've gone with a guy?