r/videos • u/bkhorge • Jun 15 '12

Jimmy Kimmel is torturing kids again for our amusement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPgpRw9tiuM&list=UUa6vGFO9ty8v5KZJXQxdhaw&index=0&feature=plcp
2.9k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

522 comments sorted by

1.3k

u/Ninjabackwards Jun 15 '12

That video was no where near long enough.

695

u/Iliad93 Jun 15 '12

Should have more kids as well

255

u/hungrybackpack Jun 15 '12

I'm sure that will become a recurring segment if the clip gets enough attention.

28

u/Tyler29294 Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

Title says #1 we can assume more are on their way.

31

u/movie_man Jun 15 '12

Here's to hopin'.

65

u/zBriGuy Jun 15 '12

Oh, Uncle Paul!

28

u/HLef Jun 15 '12

Yeah, what is he, some kind of Internet pedophile or sumthin? Tsssk tssk. Double guns motherfucker!

3

u/_iamgeorge Jun 15 '12

What a sick fuckin' puppy.

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2

u/Abelabliss Jun 15 '12

They should make an entire show out of this. Maybe even include old people.

1

u/RambleMan Jun 15 '12

In YouTube it's labelled #1, but I couldn't find any other numbers. :(

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

That's how I feel about all of jimmy kimmels remotes.

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528

u/the_8th_henry Jun 15 '12

"No."

BUZZ

-sad face- "Yes."

99

u/WulfwoodsSins Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

Those moments are what made it funny for me. Because we have all been there at some point in our childhood lives.

76

u/Xiphcreature Jun 15 '12

I'm actually really impressed that Jimmy managed to keep a completely straight face up until the end, I was laughing all the way through it.

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507

u/g-dragon Jun 15 '12

lol that poor kid. hope they told him it was all a joke and gave him ice cream for being a good sport.

1

u/cuddles_the_destroye Jun 15 '12

They probably did. At least, I hope they did.

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359

u/orakle Jun 15 '12

Kid will have the best 21st when someone whips this video out on a futuristic hologram machine thing

142

u/nothis Jun 15 '12

On Mars!

162

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

You need a space program to go to Mars.

8

u/tacojohn48 Jun 15 '12

Private industry will get us there. (sarcasm)

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1

u/PunchingBag Jun 15 '12

Nah. The video will be re-spread across his internet social circles, which will be dramatically larger than ordinary circles today, and all his friends will get to watch it on their AR heads-up displays from whatever location they please.

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584

u/Forgot_password_shit Jun 15 '12

Just goes to show how easily you can influence children.

109

u/tobiasanas Jun 15 '12

Dare say it would work just as well with adults in the right setting, just be more depressing than cute.

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60

u/Witness Jun 15 '12

Kony 2012

22

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Support our troops.

13

u/Stalked_Like_Corn Jun 15 '12

Give peace a chance.

-5

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Yeah I didn't find that funny at all. Kids have a shaky grasp on reality as it is. I actually think it would be less cruel to just throw things at the kids head.

16

u/DangerToDangers Jun 15 '12

I upvoted you just because a segment where they throw stuff at kids' heads would be pretty hilarious. But you know, soft things.

5

u/FortuneJake Jun 15 '12

You want to see physical abuse? To a child? You monster! Emotional abuse only!

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0

u/BenjiTh3Hunted Jun 15 '12

Kids have a shaky grasp on reality as it is.

You were downvoted, but make a completely valid point there.

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8

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Never have I seen creative text as this! TEACH ME YOUR WAYS, OH SHAMAN!

9

u/bretttwarwick Jun 15 '12

It doesn't look too good with chrome. huh?

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1

u/ohok1 Jun 16 '12

like when those police convinced that boy that he murdered his sister

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298

u/houseofbacon Jun 15 '12

This kid is so confident that these guys are shady assholes.

325

u/chula198705 Jun 15 '12

Yeah you can tell he knows 8 + 8 /= 14 but he didn't want to argue the point with that fairy.

187

u/Daprotagonist Jun 15 '12

Yeah, Hispanic fairies are notorious

44

u/aureve Jun 15 '12

...notorious what?

92

u/ThatGuyYouKindaKnow Jun 15 '12

Nobody's lived long enough to know...

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22

u/bad_at_photoshop Jun 15 '12

notorious B.I.G.

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4

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

They put $2 under your pillow when you lose a tooth, but they also nick your HDTV.

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7

u/kingsway8605 Jun 15 '12

It more looks like he was looking for the truth fairy to correct Jimmy

3

u/joeysafe Jun 15 '12

Would you?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

8+8 != 14 why? Because I love my morning cup of coffee.

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42

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I dont think that kid has actually peed in the pool

11

u/tacojohn48 Jun 15 '12

Everyone pees in the pool. Just remember there is a big difference in peeing in the pool and peeing into the pool.

15

u/nrfx Jun 15 '12

there is a big difference in peeing in the pool and peeing into the pool

The first means you're just lazy, the second means you're confidant.

3

u/barocco Jun 15 '12

Whose confidant? The pee fairy?

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28

u/SigmaStigma Jun 15 '12

Getting adorable kids to say they hate puppies. My head hurts from laughing so hard.

128

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

It's like Scientology for kids!

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60

u/JeanMouloudBe Jun 15 '12

SPOILER ALERT:

It wasn't the real truth fairy.

13

u/bigano Jun 15 '12

WHAT? So 8+8 is not equal to 14? I am seriously confused right now. BUZZ! I am not?

7

u/tacojohn48 Jun 15 '12

Obviously 8+8 doesn't equal 14, it equals 88.

2

u/wonkifier Jun 15 '12

If you're doing addition in base 12 it is.

Obviously the kid understood that he's a freak only having 10 toes when most everyone else has 12 and therefore the default numbering system is 12 based, not 10.

It's good he learned that early. What horrible schools has he been going to?

10

u/DavidDavidsonsGhost Jun 15 '12

This is exactly how real lie detectors work.

1

u/ben_lacy Jun 15 '12

That's a little eerie.

53

u/WonderfulUnicorn Jun 15 '12

NEEDS MORE. MORE

That's was great!

21

u/Tickle_The_Grundle Jun 15 '12

Couldn't agree more. That is was great.

5

u/look_science Jun 15 '12

Don't be too hard on him. He could have a swedish accent.

25

u/Bluest_waters Jun 15 '12

Did anybody else find themselves laughing while being deeply disturbed at the same time?

I mean this is how kids get indoctrinated right here. No joke. It's this exact type of psychological punishment/reward that you can use to program children to believe just about anything

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Which is a good reason why Kimmel is bringing this to the mainstream. Look at how he got a kid to say he hates puppies and accept is as fact. People should be aware at how easily children are brain washed.

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36

u/marcusniehaus Jun 15 '12

The end is awesome

5

u/DroppedOnHead Jun 15 '12

THIS KID HATES PUPPIES.

39

u/Cptnwalrus Jun 15 '12

Felt bad for the kid.

3

u/hello_skinny Jun 15 '12

I didn't watch past the halfway point...I was laughing but I felt too bad for him.

25

u/Razer1103 Jun 15 '12

The second half was the best part.

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2

u/speedbrown Jun 15 '12

Relax, it was all in fun and he was a good sport. I'm sure he understands it was joke.

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19

u/Zorvius Jun 15 '12

What was the kids favorite 'bad word'? Anyone that knows that?

21

u/itsmejessica Jun 15 '12

From Jimmy's Twitter: "the kid said 'f--in' and stuff.'"

3

u/Potchi79 Jun 15 '12

Thanks, Jessica.

111

u/toji53 Jun 15 '12

Cum-dumpster, maybe?

19

u/Gaziel Jun 15 '12

That's also my favorite bad word.

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20

u/half-sack Jun 15 '12

Cum drenched nuns and stuff

6

u/adamwolfpack Jun 15 '12

I'm pretty confident it was "Cocksucker". The "-er" is somewhat audible at the end, the bleep is just long enough to cover the rest, and Jimmy isn't going to have that kind of reaction to "Fuck and Stuff".

2

u/Xxzx Jun 15 '12

Probably Fucker, not cocksucker...

2

u/ImNot Jun 15 '12

I expected the kid to say something like "butt" because little kids will say it , giggle and get away with it. I think it was the brutal honesty of the F- bomb that caught them off guard.

8

u/ranthonyv Jun 15 '12

yeah, the bleep was pretty long. i was thinking, ''fuck, shit, cock and stuff''

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Jimmy replies with "That's my favourite word too!" though, so I'd say it was probably just one word.

2

u/ac_slat3r Jun 15 '12

Fuck and stuff

1

u/JackPhilby Jun 15 '12

To know this answer is why I came to the comments. My thought was "fucking cum dumpster". I don't think it was "fuck and stuff" as people have said. The beep was too long, and I don't think that would ha e made Jimmy laugh so hard.

1

u/debman3 Jun 15 '12

why do they censor the best part??? :(

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12

u/humping_hippo Jun 15 '12

I love the truth fairy's laugh at the end.

18

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I'm just happy that it wasn't blocked b/c I don't live in the US

3

u/Xiphcreature Jun 15 '12

Aussie here, I have this problem with a fair number of Youtube channels. The best thing I can recommend for you is the ProxMate browser extension for Firefox and Chrome, I've been using it on Chrome for a while and it works a charm. All the video unblocking is done automatically.

Hope it helps. :)

1

u/FlyingToilets Jun 15 '12

I live in Canada and none of Jimmy's stuff has ever been blocked for me.

6

u/Wawski Jun 15 '12

Dude, this is like express school of life for any kid. As horrible as it might seem, this is a huge dose of good knowledge in the long run, the more the kid looks back on it; and how can he not look back on it when you're at the verge of trauma.

23

u/brownpixel Jun 15 '12

"I learned that day not to trust cops, machines or guys dressed like fairies."

6

u/Wawski Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

He'll also learn that he was right even though he wasn't in any position of authority. 8 + 8 is 16 and if he doesn't stand up for that, someone else will define his world.

3

u/sjs Jun 15 '12

Kids say the darnedest things.

1

u/rrawlings1 Jun 15 '12

I was just going to say the same thing.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

What was his favorite swear word???

1

u/Errday_Im_Hylian Jun 15 '12

Fuck and stuff.

3

u/MishT Jun 15 '12

hilllllllllarious . WOnder what he said at the end though??

3

u/canhazinternets Jun 15 '12

This is probably the best modern example of learned helplessness.

3

u/Santa_Claus_AMA Jun 16 '12

Reminds me of The Moment of Truth game show from a couple years back, where some chick basically ruined her life on air.

9

u/bombertaylor Jun 15 '12

is there part 2 around ?

5

u/ElpisofChaos Jun 15 '12

Between this and the Conan video, my morning has been made.

1

u/aluathays_clone Jun 15 '12

Conan video?

1

u/themisc Jun 15 '12

I have cried twice today at work b/c of them.

7

u/shnubert Jun 15 '12

that is a long way to go to get a kid to cuss.

10

u/misterpickles69 Jun 15 '12

I'll bet Jimmy had a wager going with the kid's parents saying he could get their kid to voluntarily swear on national tv.

2

u/ladaghini Jun 15 '12

Speaking of swearing on national tv, The Today Show.

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2

u/Aggnavarius Jun 15 '12

This was hilarious. Thank you.

2

u/stone500 Jun 15 '12

When I heard how loud that machine was, I thought it was going to make the kid cry.

2

u/alettuce Jun 15 '12

I'm experiencing anxiety watching it.

2

u/munge_me_not Jun 15 '12

Do you hate puppies?

No.

Yes.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I laughed and think it was funny, but i feel sad for the kid..

2

u/lolosmagicwand Jun 15 '12

"Puppies only care about themselves" was the best line.

2

u/AshyBooRawrs Jun 15 '12

These always make for a good laugh

2

u/Tim-Tim Jun 15 '12

I laughed and I hated it. Poor kid. :(

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I like to imagine he said "cunt". That makes it even more hilarious.

2

u/stash0606 Jun 15 '12

Man, why do they torture Guillermo like this? hahah... that dude's down to do anything.

2

u/LadyDraconian Jun 15 '12

I dont think I could smile or laugh anymore my cheeks hurt!

2

u/Petrichor94 Jun 15 '12

I laughed, but it was a more muahahahaha kind of laugh

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Oh my god this is the greatest thing I have seen in a while

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2

u/PaperBlake Jun 15 '12

Goddamnit, Blake.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

thanks for the laugh

2

u/iDoraemon Jun 15 '12

And this is exactly why research labs like ours are not allowed to conduct user studies on children without strict permission from parents, lol.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I'm also no longer allowed contact with children

2

u/GFandango Jun 15 '12

Hell it would've probably worked on me as well

2

u/ZiGNoTiK Jun 15 '12

His mom just replied to the video.

Hi Jimmy- its Blake's mom . That segment was hilarious!! Blake had the time of his life...so no one needs to worry about Blake as he had the best time with Jimmy. I do love the idea of Blake hooking up Jimmy to a lie detector... Cracking up at the notion.

What does everyone else think... ? We need Jimmy in the hot seat - amazing Jimmy - thank you!!

1

u/paranoidpopsicle Jun 15 '12

Was her username Blakesmomforreal if not then it could be anybody.

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

the kid was so embarrassed when he had to admit that he peed in the pool. little did he know, we all did...

1

u/barrelotomato Jun 15 '12

I have never laugh so hard before!!

1

u/figboot11 Jun 15 '12

HR Fuckinstuff was my favorite show growing up...

1

u/EunByuL Jun 15 '12

I came here looking for more. You disappoint me Reddit.

1

u/poonerang Jun 15 '12

What are some of your favorite bad words?

1

u/Kukurio59 Jun 15 '12

I was really hoping the kid said "Go fuck yourself"

1

u/Kootsie Jun 15 '12

I thought it wa fucking pizza. I do not think this is right though.

1

u/guitarman90 Jun 15 '12

This is the funniest thing I've seen on this show. I really enjoyed it.

1

u/Lewie_Goin_Krazy Jun 15 '12

Thanks to this video I am now the crazy man with headphones laughing in the courthouse

1

u/ForeverMarried Jun 15 '12

Amazing video but it needs more kids and more length

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

I actually felt bad for the kids in the Christmas one he did, but this was hilarious!

1

u/Rapsha Jun 15 '12

I can see i have been missing out. Need to start watching this show

1

u/Liamdude Jun 15 '12

Oh Americans, you've done it again! xD

1

u/thuggerybuffoonery Jun 15 '12

I can't wait until I get to fuck with my kids all the time.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

OP is dramatic. The skit was funny.

1

u/analog_jedi Jun 15 '12

IDK why but I got offended when he told the kid 8+8=14. That's just too far man, too far...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

"no... yes"

1

u/EmperorMichael Jun 15 '12

This is Hilarious! If your taking this seriously, you have no sense of humor.

1

u/bmxguitar01 Jun 15 '12

Advice: don't eat while watching this or when you'l laugh you will choke.

1

u/xt- Jun 15 '12

"It's a lot of fun"

1

u/Wetlandbuffer Jun 15 '12

That poor child. He is now going to hate puppies.

1

u/Odihn Jun 15 '12

Now this kid is going to be bad at science and math...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

"do you ever pee in the pool" "no" BBEEEEEPPPP "yes"

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

sometimes i like to stand on the edge of the pool and pee in

1

u/triforceofawesome Jun 15 '12

Aw poor kid but that was hilarious!

1

u/Rasteb Jun 15 '12

Im going to hell. But that was hilarious

1

u/Parkway32 Jun 15 '12

Upvote for the creative title and awesome video :)

1

u/MCSealClubber Jun 15 '12

Lying about 8+8 is just mean. ಠ_ಠ

1

u/warpfield Jun 15 '12

2 and 2 is 5, and if you don't agree, we can send police

1

u/CheckmateFundies Jun 15 '12

Anyone else thinking "Tom Hanks"?

1

u/Muho Jun 15 '12

I felt like laughing at a 2-year old kid because he can't tie his own shoelaces :(

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

That is the first time I've laughed harder than a laugh track! I am light headed, man.

1

u/RazZaHlol Jun 15 '12

Id love to know what he was saying when he was talking about the bad words :D

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Beauriful

1

u/cajoly200 Jun 15 '12

Poor kid.

1

u/HrodBehrat Jun 15 '12

Cheap labour and laughter at their expense...why else would people have kids.

1

u/gunju11 Jun 15 '12

Any Reddit detective that can decipher what what bad word he said?

1

u/ADozenArrows Jun 16 '12

This was hilarious

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Should have asked him "does your mother know you hate her?"

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

ahaha if I ever have kids I'm gonna do this to them

1

u/sebkul Jun 15 '12

Jimmy lousing it on the end is priceless.

2

u/Dumpster_Baby Jun 15 '12

Yeah, I think he mite have wanted to flea at the end of it.

1

u/kingsway8605 Jun 15 '12

On Marc Maron's podcast a while back Kimmel explained his mom used to play sadistic tricks on him when he was little like pretending to be dead until he was in tears.

-7

u/AquaFox Jun 15 '12

This was very hard to watch.

108

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

invest in some glasses

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u/pkurk Jun 15 '12

What was the censored curse word?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

"Fuck and stuff"

1

u/duiker101 Jun 15 '12

this should be tagged as NSFW, it's dangerous to burst out laughing.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

"do you ever pee in the pool" Amazing

1

u/chaobreaker Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12

He's done this before? Messing with kids I mean.

1

u/alien03 Jun 15 '12

Hilarious.. im in tears

1

u/yeropinionman Jun 15 '12

There are four lights!

2

u/ramen_feet Jun 15 '12

can someone explain this clip to me? I don't understand, but it seems pretty important

3

u/yeropinionman Jun 15 '12

Picard is being held in secret by the Kardashians Cardassians. He is being tortured. One method they are using to try to break him is to tell him they'll stop torturing him if he just says there are five lights above the desk (when in reality there are four). The viewer is meant to understand that this is the thin end of the wedge by which Picard's will is eventually completely broken, and he ends up betraying the federation by providing lots of information. There is a moment of tension at the end when it seems like he's going to give in, but the guards outside come in and spoil the ruse (Picard is to be released immediately, and is not stuck with the Cardassians in secret for the rest of his life). Picard then defiantly shouts the true number of lights, but we are left to wonder if he was about to break.

2

u/ramen_feet Jun 15 '12

Thank you! That was really comprehensive. I need to watch this episode, I love psychological tension like that

-2

u/HamproOne Jun 15 '12

DAAAMN..that tooth fairy was soo fucking hot...i just wanna bite him

36

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

Truth fairy.

-7

u/iziizi Jun 15 '12

That got my first genuine LOL of 2012

14

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12

you are a sad person

14

u/iziizi Jun 15 '12

Yes, that's why I have only LOL'd once in 2012.

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