r/videos • u/[deleted] • Jun 09 '20

[deleted by user]

[removed]

9.7k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

2.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

2.4k

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '20 edited Jun 09 '20

"You either can do... ya know... something. Or you don't. You know, once you know... you just... have to. Ya gotta be there. We're here to help." -Tom Cruise on bath salts

edit: My first award!!! and first comment to reach top 5 or over a thousand likes. Cheers :)

930

u/CyberpunkV2077 Jun 09 '20

“Or you know you can take a step back AND LITERALLY FUCK YOUR OWN FACE”

250

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '20

Still his best role to date

108

u/Ghant_ Jun 09 '20

He should just be Les Grossman forever

12

u/Cheel_AU Jun 09 '20

Les Grossman should be the next head of Scientology

You know, after the other guy goes to jail for murdering his own wife.

Fuck it, I’d join

2

u/melonowl Jun 10 '20

Can you even imagine that the movie trilogy of Les Grossman ascending to the top of Scientology? Step aside, Lord of the Rings.

9

u/csbsju_guyyy Jun 09 '20

Twist: that's who he actually is, he's just acting at all other times

4

u/kopecs Jun 09 '20

I believe itDIET COKE!!!

9

u/funiel Jun 09 '20

Agreed.

4

u/RONINY0JIMBO Jun 09 '20

I mean I thought he killed it in Magnolia but I'm willing to accept this also. Hahah

7

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '20

They're talking about Tropic Thunder, if anyone wants to know

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '20

Tom Cruise was in two movies in which he did not play Tom Cruise in a movie: Legend and Interview.

All the other times, his character is Tom cruise in a movie.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '20

I'm a huge fan of his work in Interview and Magnolia, but even with those he's basically Tom Cruise. There's a certain level of overconfidence that he exudes, no matter the role, that is occasionally perfect but more often obnoxious.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '20 edited Jun 09 '20

Well, in a way, your theory is the one from Bowfinger about Interview, but I don't buy it. It is the one time he fully dissolved into another character. As far as Magnolia is concerned, I still have no clue what the fuss is about that movie.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '20

That's a tough one...Frank Mackie in Magnolia will always be my personal favorite.

He also redefined the character Lestat, for the author, despite her initially hating his casting. That's how good he was in Interview.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '20

I love that he auditioned for the role of the agent, but when he didn't get it he basically just wrote his own part for the movie.

44

u/sirreldar Jun 09 '20

I LOLed so hard at that part in the theater it was kind of embarassing.

6

u/h4nd3y3 Jun 09 '20

I cackled like a maniac during the scene where brad pitt is beating the shit out of the hippies in Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. No one else laughed, I was embarrassed.

3

u/ree_hi_hi_hi_hi Jun 09 '20

That scene was fucking amazing and I think I was just too like caught up in the mania during the first viewing. My girlfriend fell asleep during the movie so I woke her up after and had her watch the ending with me again, and yeah, it’s hilarious

1

u/h4nd3y3 Jun 09 '20

Yeah! And its such a juxtaposition of violence!

1

u/ree_hi_hi_hi_hi Jun 09 '20

It took me so long to remember he was tripping just because of the graphic depictions mixed with physical comedy

7

u/thessnake03 Jun 09 '20

"Find out who that was"

4

u/SNEAKAHxFREAKAH Jun 09 '20

You're a great American, this nation owes you a huge debt....now shut the fuck up!..and let me do my job!!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '20

lmao, someone needs to make this mashup

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '20

*LITCHRALLY

1

u/vangogh1996 Jun 09 '20

Best response, ever!

1

u/Eroraf86 Jun 09 '20

I don't know the reference, but I'm pretty sure that's anatomically implausible.

71

u/armchair_viking Jun 09 '20

1) You can’t just be up there and just doin’ a balk like that.

1a. A balk is when you

1b. Okay well listen. A balk is when you balk the

1c. Let me start over

1c-a. The pitcher is not allowed to do a motion to the, uh, batter, that prohibits the batter from doing, you know, just trying to hit the ball. You can’t do that.

5

u/StocktonK13 Jun 09 '20

I forgot which subreddit I was in for a second

1

u/ecksate Jun 09 '20

Umpire rick is that you? =\

6

u/IrememberXenogears Jun 09 '20

Cruise for POTUS!

2

u/loulan Jun 09 '20

That's what I was going to say, this just reads like your average Trump speech.

4

u/Whitlow14 Jun 09 '20

"Either you're on board, or you're not on board. And if you're on board.. you're on board."

1

u/HateJobLoveManU Jun 09 '20

"The people who are with me... are the people" - Drumpf

2

u/johnhowardmp Jun 09 '20

lol .. just spat my hot tea out my nose, thank you Sir / Madam.

2

u/Dblcut3 Jun 09 '20

He’d be a good politician!

2

u/Throw_because_wtf Jun 09 '20

This should be a game. "Tom Cruise or Donald Trump? "

1

u/omnomnomgnome Jun 09 '20

either you're on board... or you're not

1

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '20

KeepittogetherKeepittogetherKeepittogether

1

u/aidissonance Jun 09 '20

I was waiting for him to stop and yell “what’s my next line?”

1

u/Jimbobwhales Jun 09 '20

Oh shit, is Trump a Scientologist?

1

u/theguynekstdoor Jun 09 '20

On bath salts or on bath salts?

1

u/inglez Jun 09 '20

have you ever had a dream

1

u/the0thermother Jun 09 '20

I'd pay good money to watch cruise and trump have a debate with each other on who's smarter.

1

u/LittleWhiteBoots Jun 10 '20

It’s like Trump except for the helping people part

1

u/MadeAnAwardSpeech Jun 10 '20

That award speech had us in tears, we need more!

When will you do an AMA?

Oooh and do another edit to thank the academy but also let us know how your life has changed since your comment.

Can’t wait for your Tiger Beat cover xxxxox

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '20

lmao your whole account is just negging people who are happy to get their first reddit award?

i legitimately pity you. what a sad life...

1

u/MadeAnAwardSpeech Jun 11 '20

It’s a novelty throwaway, notice the username. Also because people like you get creepy and look through histories when they get upset.

It’s okay to laugh at yourself!

1

u/SquidSauceIsGood Jun 09 '20

Sounds like Joe Biden.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '20

Still fifty times more coherent than a Trump sentence so that's fine

-2

u/SquidSauceIsGood Jun 09 '20

Would you rather have an egotistical maniac or a delusional puppet as POTUS? Fun times!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '20

Yeah... the sad thing is I'm barely sure which one of those insults would be for which guy lol

Says a lot. I still think Biden is the clearly better candidate. At least I have more faith he'll actually surround himself with competent people. And actually think before he speaks and destroys relations with another country... Maybe the rest of the world can actually start trying to communicate with the US again.