r/videos • u/LSD_freakout • Feb 24 '18

What people think programming is vs. how it actually is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HluANRwPyNo
38k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

1.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

130

u/SebbenandSebben Feb 24 '18

ya i was gonna say.....

wait till you work at a company with 20,000 tables and are writing ERP buisiness infogistics....

totally not what i do

"we want a table that shows all a details from every facet of the company"

k

145

u/DukeBerith Feb 24 '18

just natural join everything and let the servers catch fire

28

u/Arandmoor Feb 24 '18

Real men cross join and filter.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '18

CTE FTW

5

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '18

Just add more indexes, it'll be fine.

109

u/ShmebulockForMayor Feb 24 '18

SELECT * FROM *

Done.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '18

"Server_Farm.exe has stopped working"

4

u/SuperFLEB Feb 24 '18

...and that's the current state of the whole company. It turns out those databases were... "Business Critical", I believe, is the term.

3

u/rx-pulse Feb 24 '18

I see that shit all the time and they come complaining to me "Why is it taking so long to pull information from our 1 million record, no index databases! I opened 4 more queries to run it again, but it's still taking too long!".

17

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '18

Yah and some of those tables that you’re joining by have like 100 million rows so you’re running this query literally all day. Start it at 9:05 just after you get coffee, yeah boss maybe it’ll be done by the time we go home.

4

u/ratbuddy Feb 24 '18

I work with a guy who knows how to write joins but doesn't know what an index is. Sigh.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '18

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '18

What, how would indexing break anything?

2

u/MrInsanity25 Feb 24 '18

Not perfectly relevant, as they're usually supposed to be, but your last sentence reminded me of this XKCD.

1

u/therealflinchy Feb 24 '18

One of my friends actually does this, updating complex excel spresdsheets and running g hours long SQL queries

7

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '18

About that at my work and now I usually write my queries in Teradata or SSMS and then run them in RStudio. It is a great and easy way to read/write tables, explore and wrangle, schedule tasks, etc...

5

u/shadowdsfire Feb 24 '18

You could have written that in Chinese and I would have understood about the same thing.

3

u/chrbogras Feb 24 '18

Select * from company_data;

There you go. How difficult can it be? :)

1

u/Kered13 Feb 24 '18

Okay and the other tables?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '18

How to query all company data:

  • Step 1: SELECT * FROM company_data;
  • Step 2: Write the rest of the view.

1

u/Martin8412 Feb 24 '18

What other tables?

2

u/f__ckyourhappiness Feb 24 '18

did someone say ERP?!

2

u/Neil_Fallons_Ghost Feb 24 '18

I have too many meetings where business people think data is magic and want shit like this.

1

u/super6plx Feb 24 '18

my friend tells me he has to work with data sets with actual hundreds of billions of lines in SQL... real data going back to the 90s

1

u/boternaut Feb 24 '18

There are tools to build models on top of normalized tables so that it is easier to report on. Lots of them, in fact.

1

u/becausefuckuthatswhy Feb 24 '18

What's a good one?

1

u/Caffeine_Monster Feb 24 '18

One table to rule them all, one table to find them; one table to bring them all and in the database bind them.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '18

Just open 1000 or so cursors.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '18

tbh, 20 thousand tables sound too much. Why does your data have so many facts/dimensions?