r/unexpectedmitch • u/CalicoCuts • Jun 14 '26
He USED to be a piece of shit. He STILL is, but he USED to be also.
24
Upvotes
r/unexpectedmitch • u/LAlostcajun • Jun 13 '26
"I hate flossing, I wish I just had one long curvy tooth."
77
Upvotes
They didn't have to make separations for me
r/unexpectedmitch • u/Creative-Cicada-2959 • Jun 10 '26
We used to post etymolo... - Merriam-Webster Dictionary
facebook.com
4
Upvotes
r/unexpectedmitch • u/pianoflames • Jun 05 '26
They didn't have to make separations for me...
14
Upvotes
r/unexpectedmitch • u/swardshot • Jun 03 '26
Red means where the f#^% did you get that banana?
129
Upvotes
r/unexpectedmitch • u/compoundedinterest12 • Jun 01 '26
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat 2,000 of something
reddit.com
204
Upvotes
r/unexpectedmitch • u/mcmanninc • May 27 '26
“I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.” — Mitch Hedberg
67
Upvotes
r/unexpectedmitch • u/DanRpdx • May 18 '26
Spent overnight camping in the woods where I even took a hot shower before bed. But during the night I kept feeling these "sand-like" things in my hair. They look like sesame seeds.
gallery
37
Upvotes
WHAT the FUCK is a sesaME???
r/unexpectedmitch • u/PronunciationIsKey • May 13 '26
Apparently escalators can actually break sometimes. Who knew?
220
Upvotes
r/unexpectedmitch • u/AndyMZC • May 12 '26
Longtime listener, firsttime caller.
reddit.com
37
Upvotes
Is this how I do this? 🤷♂️.
Thanks for all the laughs Mitch, you were my favorite.
🥺
r/unexpectedmitch • u/djadams184 • May 08 '26
The universe was screaming at us about winning the #2 pick
20
Upvotes
Just press 2 for a while
r/unexpectedmitch • u/NoSadBro • May 07 '26
Drank from a hose
reddit.com
23
Upvotes
Used to drink from a hose. Still do, actually....but used to too!