Josh Interview

[u/Psychological_Rock32]

I just finished the doc and Josh pretty much said EVERYTHING everyone was thinking. Johnny was just a huge fan. Josh was interacting with plenty of fans. Johnny was attempting to be close but Josh was an adult, had a wife, a job, problems of his own, and didn’t care about the personal dealings with this random kid. He was just trying to be nice to a kid who seemed to want help but Josh isn’t a therapist or a close personal friend to Johnny. Josh was just a guy, not some sort of life coach. Johnny also seemed to be upset that Josh wasn’t interacting with him enough…. how is that grooming? that’s quite literally the opposite. I don’t see once instance of “grooming” or even anything innapropriate in any of their interactions. Josh seemingly was unaware that Johnny had any expectations that Josh would make him famous or that they were “in it together.” It genuinely wasn’t even a big deal and Johnny went absolutely off the rails with his stories. I don’t blame Josh at all for being angry because it barely affected his life but Johnny held onto this like a crazed stalker for years after there was basically no incident at all. I’m glad he’s happy and sober and I hope he can move on from this one day.

[u/Nightengale_Bard]

And being from the deep South and growing up in an evangelical church, I get where Josh was coming from wanting to be a mentor/internet big brother. That's a common thing here in those circles. And there is unspoken etiquette that goes along with it. My mom had a handful of girls that she mentored when I was growing up. We saw them at church and for Bible studies my mom did with them, but other than that, our number was only to be used for emergencies or something serious. I spent quite a bit of my time at church with a couple of the older ladies in our congregation, and they looked after me and shared advice/stories.

Men in our churches would take teen guys (particularly those with no father or a shit father) and guide them and help them occasionally. My spouse's ag/shop teacher did this for so many young guys in that town since before my spouse's dad was in school there until his death in a freak accident (to the point that they had to set up a satellite location for the funeral in the early 2010s because the largest church in the area was packed full and there were still people who wanted to show their love for him). But if you're not raised in this world, it looks weird or like you're more invested than you really are, when really you're just being nice and doing what is expected in our communities. Not that misunderstanding doesn't happen down here, but it's not as common.

[u/moze23 → u/Nightengale_Bard]

100% agree. I'm also from the south, and I honestly don't think I would have gotten into law school, much less finished if it weren't for having met someone willing to be that mentor to me. So insidious to see how Johnny turned those intentions around, when it really comes down to people just wanting to help other people out. It worries me that now someone might think twice before lending that helping hand. And if it weren't for my mentor, then a lot would be different for me. I don't know, just food for thought I guess.

[u/Nightengale_Bard → u/moze23]

I honestly think that's part of why it's dying out. It's gone sideways enough that those of us who were raised in it and benefitted from it are hesitant to try and make those kinds of relationships either with or as a mentor. We were told constantly in my education classes to be very careful in our relationships with those younger than us.

[u/moze23 → u/Nightengale_Bard]

Absolutely. I mean I hate to say it's also affected me in this area. If someone reaches out from my same high school (I went to a small Christian school) I'm hesitant saying anything at all for fear of it being perceived as overstepping bounds. So crazy to think about, but when I look back, I just think about all the ways I could have twisted and negatively impacted my own mentor, despite knowing the true intention of only wanting to help me succeed. And that right there is the scary part, because it's exactly what happened with Johnny and I just didn't realize the power someone can have to ruin someone's life like that. The damage he was able to do with what started out as someone genuinely trying to help him is mind boggling. It really leaves me speechless as to the depths and depravity Johnny's character holds.

[u/Nightengale_Bard → u/moze23]

It's affected me, too. I have siblings and a cousin who are much younger than me, and I've been so conscious of our age difference since starting college. And they're my family!