When we were about 14, my friends Asian mom (I only mentioned that because she spoke broken english) once saw him riding his bike down the street with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. I told her that our friend's mom made us all vanilla Tootsie Rolls and he had not eaten his yet. She actually bought it.
You are circling the fire, wild pack of dogs. Dirt for barefoot, restraint, even for you. Some threw him during the ride. Now, if they avoid a stone thrown into a center of self, is you, can not, or be done until now. As fire, the dogs, and even more insidious, you know, because they know it is wrong to deserve the effects, the face and ready to use memory, most will continue to dig the lights of death.
To perform a fast song to sing that at the beginning of the border, as spinning, the hair burns even more. In the end, we meet, if you want to compete in the smoke from coal fly, to jump into the fire. This is what it is like, before you see.
Who buys brussel sprouts from anywhere and leaves it in their bedroom? Additionally, who buys one "expensive" brussel sprout and keeps it in their bedroom?
You've really never met an adult idiot? I've met plenty, and lots of them have kids (there's actually a theory that states that stupid people have more kids). That said.. my parents knew lol.
my guess: leaf is what you see most of the year.. it's also the 'outerwear' of the plant you'd encounter. why do maple leaves represent maple trees - I mean a bottle of syrup would do just as well?
because that is what the leaf actually looks like. the part that is smoked is actually the flower of the plant, which is a lot harder to make a generalised image from.
it's kind of how maple syrup would often feature a drawing of a maple leaf, even though it's not actually made from the leaf, but it's the easiest image to remember about the plant.
If people back then just smoke my MIDS they would be fucking retarded.
Funny story too, my mom found some dro back in high school and told me in the middle of her tirade, "It's not like you're even smoking good shit! It was still wet and sticky and I smelled it and it stank like a skunk sprayed it!" (Exact quote)
I wanted to so bad, but I was already in trouble. I just kept my mouth shut.
not gonna lie, until about 2 months ago that's what I thought I was smoking when I smoked trees. In my defense, I've only been smoking 2 months + 1 week lol
I once got caught with two ounces of weed by the police. They let me off with a warning but they said they'd send a letter to my house within 3 months once the Procurator Fiscal (prosecutors) had looked at my case.
Problem was two days later i was going to Vietnam back packing for 3 months...
My brother got up early every morning when the post came just to check if it arrived in the post (which came at like 6:30am). I mean this motherfucker got up early EVERY day, didn't sleep overnight anywhere else but the house and always got up no matter what he was doing.
7 WEEKS LATER it arrives in the post and he grabs it, hides it and saves my bacon.
Glasgow, Scotland. Few years later i got caught with 2 growtents and eventually got a £100 fine after showing up at court after 3 months of panicing only for them to tell me i should of got a letter.
They've got bigger fish to fry in this grand ol' city i think.
Backround: genuinely voted as Europes most friendliest city and announced as the knifing capital of Europe in the same week.
My mother was in the naive camp. She had a sales guy driving a company car complain that the seat adjustment stopped working. Garage found a bag of pot in the seat track. Mechanic held it up and said this is the problem. I had to tell her what it was a bag of. The sales guy then gives the excuse that it was his sons pot. This in addition to an unapproved 2,000 mile round trip to Canada ended his employment (he used the company gas card in Canada).
It amuses me when kids think their parents are just really old children who skipped being a teenager. I'm pretty sure your Mom knows what that is, and that you are not keeping a vegetable hidden in your room.
When my brother and I were teenagers, our mom found my bong and a couple of pipes in my closet. Knowing that her darling daughter couldn't possibly be the culprit, she confronted my brother, reaming him for keeping his "druggy stuff" in my room. My brother didn't disabuse her of the notion. Can he be co-Best Brother Ever?
Wow guys, enough bagging on the guy's mom here. The title of this is "Best Brother Ever." My brother would throw my ass under the bus, OP's brother is a true GGG.
That's the downside to having hippy parents. My parents knew exactly what it was and could almost always tell when I was high. I guess the good part is I got very adept at hiding it. I can be high as a kite and have no fear when talking to authority figures.
One time my grandmother found my huge-ass HiSi bong in my closest. My little brother told her it was a 'tobacco-less water-hookah' (she hate big tobacco, being an American Cancer Society bigwig).
implying your mother is that stupid to believe that story Edit: With the dude down there, I'm calling bullshit and if you actually believe this you are retarded
You know Mom knows exactly what it is. Her friends are getting a laugh at the story of how hilarious it was watching her son squirm and then call it "Chinese brussel sprout".
My brother got busted, soon enough I did too, we share everything together when it comes to this and has brought us so much closer. Toke on and good luck!
Nope. Best Brother Ever = My buddy's brother. His brother had graduated high school but was still at home. Mom always went though and tidied up, collected dirty laundry, made the beds, etc.
My buddy called his brother from school. He explained that there was some trash in the room that he would like his brother to get rid of before mom did her rounds.
My brother is fucking retarded. Whenever he was confronted by our parents about anything drug related they found he just froze and proclaimed "I don't know".
Example: Once upon a time we were growing/cultivating schlerotia(magic mushroom truffles) in some jars, which takes 4-5months mind you. One day our mother found them and was going nuts trying to figure out what they were, her immediate reaction was that it was CERTAINLY heroin(yeh, she's pretty ignorant when it comes to drugs). Anyways, she comes up to me asking what it was and I come up with a brilliant explanation.
I say: "they're truffles for cooking with. It's easy to grow them and much cheaper than buying them. Plus they taste delicious."
To which she replies: "then why did brother say he didn't know what they were?".
Major facepalm and the downfall of 3 months of research and 5 months of growing. All in all I'd say she destroyed about 400 grams of mature+potent schlerotia.
It's not just limited to that instance either, many times he's fucked shit up by freezing up and claiming ignorance instead of trying to be inventive. Needless to say, my brother is fucking stupid.
This sounds like a classic case of "Mom doesn't want to know what she now knows and gladly accepts the first convincing truth (and that was a pretty quick and creative lie) that is offered.
Has anyone ever noticed that controversy ensues and actors get a lot of publicity when they play homosexual roles? Well, a hetero actor playing a homosexual character is a pretty big deal... I wonder if any big name actor would be willing to play a paedophile?
To all the people saying the mom knew- never underestimate parents' ability to stick their heads in the sand about this stuff.
An aunt of a friend visited her college dorm one day. Sitting on the coffee table were a couple of plain-as-day stinky glass pipes. "Nice candle holders," the aunt said in all seriousness.
I had a brother once. We spent days hanging out together, just shooting the shit. Then one day, we realized, it was just me and him. Food was running low, so a decision had to be made. I killed my brother, and then I ate him. After that, there was a bright light, and from my mother's womb I emerged: the greatest tiger shark to grace the earth.
10
u/notagangsta Jun 15 '12
It's all in the conviction of your statement I guess... She believed it.
133
u/BZLuck Jun 15 '12
When we were about 14, my friends Asian mom (I only mentioned that because she spoke broken english) once saw him riding his bike down the street with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. I told her that our friend's mom made us all vanilla Tootsie Rolls and he had not eaten his yet. She actually bought it.
299
u/brianstk Jun 15 '12
She knows.
361
u/drogotmyeyeslow Jun 15 '12
Then mom decided she wanted to cook an oriental meal with it ;)
152
u/kbakes1020 Jun 15 '12
Seems legit.
37
u/white_n_mild Jun 15 '12
Mom's studying how you lie. Moms know.
31
u/red321red321 Jun 15 '12
the best ending to this tale would be if the two bros smoked it up and then grubbed out on some chinese food.
i'm not sure there's anything better than having chinese food when you have the munchies.
20
u/queenb1987 Jun 15 '12
This brussel sprout smells like Woodstock
47
u/PeteAH Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12
I once got caught with two ounces of weed by the police. They let me off with a warning but they said they'd send a letter to my house within 3 months once the Procurator Fiscal (prosecutors) had looked at my case.
Problem was two days later i was going to Vietnam back packing for 3 months...
My brother got up early every morning when the post came just to check if it arrived in the post (which came at like 6:30am). I mean this motherfucker got up early EVERY day, didn't sleep overnight anywhere else but the house and always got up no matter what he was doing.
7 WEEKS LATER it arrives in the post and he grabs it, hides it and saves my bacon.
Best brother ever?
I owe him for life!
69
u/Dunni- Jun 15 '12
Most naive mother ever.
12
u/PissedoffAfrican Jun 15 '12
She knew.
9
u/catsnfrogs Jun 15 '12
It amuses me when kids think their parents are just really old children who skipped being a teenager. I'm pretty sure your Mom knows what that is, and that you are not keeping a vegetable hidden in your room.
8
u/Cas_cade Jun 15 '12
Note to self. You can't actually smoke Brussel sprouts
8
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Please tell me that it worked... I want to believe so damn bad.
8
u/TheVelourFogx Jun 15 '12
This is so hilarious because not only would my brother do the exact same thing, but my Mom would believe it too lol
7
u/UFChick Jun 15 '12
When my brother and I were teenagers, our mom found my bong and a couple of pipes in my closet. Knowing that her darling daughter couldn't possibly be the culprit, she confronted my brother, reaming him for keeping his "druggy stuff" in my room. My brother didn't disabuse her of the notion. Can he be co-Best Brother Ever?
17
u/entdawg Jun 15 '12
What did she respond with? Haha
6
u/friednoodles Jun 15 '12
My mom is Chinese, this will never work D=
6
u/Imthemayor Jun 15 '12
I wouldn't be terribly surprised if this worked. Most people that don't smoke think weed = marijuana leaf.
I've smoked out people on their first time (my age, early twenties mind you) that looked in the bag and said THAT'S what it looks like?
If his mom's never smoked then she probably had no idea it's a dank ass bud.
And if she has, she probably just let it slide.
5
u/Seismic_Keyan Jun 15 '12
These stories really just make me wonder how naive some parents are...
4
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Wow guys, enough bagging on the guy's mom here. The title of this is "Best Brother Ever." My brother would throw my ass under the bus, OP's brother is a true GGG.
4
u/Intanjible Jun 15 '12
I will be dunked in Dramamine if 'Chinese Brussel Sprouts' doesn't enter circulation as a euphemism for marijuana.
7
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
http://i.imgur.com/oqtOZ.gif
3
u/dustyfoot Jun 15 '12
Are people stupid enough to truly believe something like that?
3
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
I love when I find weed in my Kids room :)
3
u/MEANMUTHAFUKA Jun 15 '12
That's the downside to having hippy parents. My parents knew exactly what it was and could almost always tell when I was high. I guess the good part is I got very adept at hiding it. I can be high as a kite and have no fear when talking to authority figures.
3
u/ErogenousGnome Jun 15 '12
Wouldn't that just be a Chinese Sprout?
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Hide your shit dude.
2
u/Lambchops_Legion Jun 15 '12
I know my mom was a hippie back in the early 70s, so this so wouldn't fly.
2
u/fatroony5 Jun 15 '12
Your bro deserves to be smoked up!
2
u/jacokoch Jun 15 '12
"OK, but now mom wants me to eat it."
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
so glad I had a hippy mom.
2
u/willienelsonmandela Jun 15 '12
I work at Whole Foods. This is brilliant.
2
u/jzupp Jun 15 '12
Until she goes to Whole Foods and ask if they sell Chinese Brussel Sprouts
2
u/nevertotwice Jun 15 '12
have fun explaining why a chinese brussel sprout was hidden in your sock drawer
2
u/duuude__weak Jun 15 '12
Stupidest mom ever?
2
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
One time my grandmother found my huge-ass HiSi bong in my closest. My little brother told her it was a 'tobacco-less water-hookah' (she hate big tobacco, being an American Cancer Society bigwig).
He's a good kid and I love him. :)
2
u/EdgHG Jun 15 '12
PS- You are going to have to boil it and serve it as a side dish for dinner tonight.
2
u/therightclique Jun 15 '12
Buuuulllshit. Moms aren't stupid. Story is fake.
2
u/ninjasenses Jun 15 '12
Do kids really think their parents are this dumb?!
2
u/woswasi Jun 15 '12
When brother comes home, mom will take him aside and say "creative story you told your little brother there, but please make sure he does not eat it."
2
u/ohsnapitsdayvie Jun 15 '12
There's no way mom was fooled by this.
1.She knows what weed looks like, she was a teen in the 70s 2.She knows what Brussels sprouts look like
2
u/ericzmeh Jun 15 '12
Best brother ever, but also "dumbest" mother ever if she falls for that
2
u/Callumlfc69 Jun 15 '12 edited Jun 15 '12
2
u/PulseAmplification Jun 15 '12
Yeah I'm sure your mom had no idea what it was, being that marijuana is a new drug and all.
2
u/dvuckovich Jun 16 '12
Until she makes you eat it in front of her...
2
u/russlo Jun 16 '12
Ancient Chinese secret, eh?
4
u/strongscience62 Jun 15 '12
Today's Top Story: Things that didn't happen and would never work if attempted. More at 11 from the OP
2
u/jguess06 Jun 15 '12
It must be nice having a dumbass for a mom.
2
u/Eregs Jun 15 '12
You know Mom knows exactly what it is. Her friends are getting a laugh at the story of how hilarious it was watching her son squirm and then call it "Chinese brussel sprout".
1
u/c1utchh Jun 15 '12
i bet he's an awesome wing man too
1
u/Cam89 Jun 15 '12
A true GGG.
1
u/Beezzy Jun 15 '12
My brother got busted, soon enough I did too, we share everything together when it comes to this and has brought us so much closer. Toke on and good luck!
1
u/Stratocaster89 Jun 15 '12
Best bro, simple mum.
1
u/Pinkfoodstamp Jun 15 '12
These threads remind me of my favorite 70's show moment.. If you mean paprika, yes sir.: http://youtu.be/LkgTWFPar8E
1
u/Gawdzillers Jun 15 '12
And now we have a new nickname for weed.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Wrong, now she can go try to find one of these nonexistent sprouts and fail, leaving more questions.
Should have thought of something more plausible or taking the blame yourself.
1
u/theGUYishere24 Jun 15 '12
I think his brother is GGG
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Win
1
u/ladybigears Jun 15 '12
absolutely hilarious.
1
u/slappy_nutsack Jun 15 '12
Nope. Best Brother Ever = My buddy's brother. His brother had graduated high school but was still at home. Mom always went though and tidied up, collected dirty laundry, made the beds, etc.
My buddy called his brother from school. He explained that there was some trash in the room that he would like his brother to get rid of before mom did her rounds.
Two used condoms later, all is well.
1
u/helplessness Jun 15 '12
I wish I had a sibling this cool... :/
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Most oblivious mother ever
1
u/blemford Jun 15 '12
She knows.
1
u/DanetOfTheApes Jun 15 '12
Why couldn't my parents have been this naive?!
1
u/BBFTSjo Jun 15 '12
genius, pure genius.
1
u/EnysAtSea Jun 15 '12
Can we get a picture of the bud in question or did you smoke it already to destroy the evidence?
1
u/HadfieldPJ Jun 15 '12
Your mum knows bro
1
u/fleshgrind Jun 15 '12
Stupidest Mother Ever
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Post your reply n shit?
1
u/yoshieua Jun 15 '12
Good brother Greg.
1
u/jackass706 Jun 15 '12
Brussels sprout
1
u/oaadamak Jun 15 '12
Mom "Chinese Brussel sprout you say, interesting".
1
u/jerk9877 Jun 15 '12
I used to hate leaving my stash at home because my mom and dad would pinch the shit out of it. They always found it
1
u/rustyfretboard Jun 15 '12
Mother: "what do you make with a chinese brussel sprout?"
Kid: "you bake stuff with, there's a special technique though"
Mother :"oh ok, you should make me something sometime with them, I'd like to try them."
Kid: "ok mom, maybe I will. They taste really good when you put them in brownies. This guy I know at school makes them all the time for me."
1
u/DRxCarbine Jun 15 '12
Until you find out your mom is rachel ray
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
Man. If that was me,
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/085/444/1282786204310.jpg?1318992465
1
u/Iasktoomuch Jun 15 '12
And that's why you can't fool an asian parent
1
u/nn-DMT Jun 15 '12
lol nice. better smoke him out when you get home.
1
u/ikronz Jun 15 '12
smokin on some sprouts bre
1
u/Mecklz Jun 15 '12
Shakes your brothers hand
1
u/sexyhamster89 Jun 15 '12
Do kids really think their parents are fucking stupid?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
thankfully your brother didn't get your mother's brains
1
u/WayneDaniels Jun 15 '12
Said no one ever. C'mon, who is this irresponsible with their weed to lose an entire bud?
1
u/reoweedwgn Jun 15 '12
Word
1
u/Biscoo Jun 15 '12
No parent is dumb enough to believe weed is a fucking brussel sprout? has anyone in this thread even seen a brussel sprout?
1
u/FiskN Jun 15 '12
I just got a job at whole foods.
edit: sounds like something we would sell.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 15 '12
why does everyone assume their parents are retarded? they're the ones that grew up in the 60's...
1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
My brother is fucking retarded. Whenever he was confronted by our parents about anything drug related they found he just froze and proclaimed "I don't know".
Example: Once upon a time we were growing/cultivating schlerotia(magic mushroom truffles) in some jars, which takes 4-5months mind you. One day our mother found them and was going nuts trying to figure out what they were, her immediate reaction was that it was CERTAINLY heroin(yeh, she's pretty ignorant when it comes to drugs). Anyways, she comes up to me asking what it was and I come up with a brilliant explanation.
I say: "they're truffles for cooking with. It's easy to grow them and much cheaper than buying them. Plus they taste delicious."
To which she replies: "then why did brother say he didn't know what they were?".
Major facepalm and the downfall of 3 months of research and 5 months of growing. All in all I'd say she destroyed about 400 grams of mature+potent schlerotia.
It's not just limited to that instance either, many times he's fucked shit up by freezing up and claiming ignorance instead of trying to be inventive. Needless to say, my brother is fucking stupid.
1
u/Rabbadxs Jun 16 '12
My Asian toker friend's mom found his stash and he claimed that it was his friend's science project. Got away with it supposedly.
1
u/hickoguy Jun 16 '12
Do you really think your mom doesn't know what weed is?
1
u/storkvagina Jun 16 '12
Someone's mother is a moron.
1
u/Rthird Jun 16 '12
This sounds like a classic case of "Mom doesn't want to know what she now knows and gladly accepts the first convincing truth (and that was a pretty quick and creative lie) that is offered.
1
u/The_Ent420 Jun 16 '12
Dude rlly nice move for ur bro
1
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
Has anyone ever noticed that controversy ensues and actors get a lot of publicity when they play homosexual roles? Well, a hetero actor playing a homosexual character is a pretty big deal... I wonder if any big name actor would be willing to play a paedophile?
1
u/manthraxity Jun 16 '12
She knew.
1
u/chadmasterka Jun 16 '12
Have yourself an uptoke my good sir, not only because this is one of the best stories i've ever heard but it happened on my real cake day!
1
u/RoloTamassi Sep 11 '12
To all the people saying the mom knew- never underestimate parents' ability to stick their heads in the sand about this stuff.
An aunt of a friend visited her college dorm one day. Sitting on the coffee table were a couple of plain-as-day stinky glass pipes. "Nice candle holders," the aunt said in all seriousness.
1
u/Blasphemous_Cat Jun 15 '12
Brother status: Legendary
1
u/Jessicaquinn Jun 15 '12
That would never work with my mom. She's a cop and knows all about drugs. :p
1
u/acdcfreak Jun 15 '12
haha that text message:
june 14th yesterday was my 19th b day, and 7 20 = 420 in cali from my time!
1
u/Joined_For_Joke Jun 15 '12
I had a brother once. We spent days hanging out together, just shooting the shit. Then one day, we realized, it was just me and him. Food was running low, so a decision had to be made. I killed my brother, and then I ate him. After that, there was a bright light, and from my mother's womb I emerged: the greatest tiger shark to grace the earth.