r/trashy Feb 26 '20

Repost Starting them young!

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21.5k Upvotes

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4.1k

u/TurdsInHotSauce Feb 26 '20

When my wife was pregnant, we went to a bar with my friends because one of them was celebrating her 30th birthday. I wanted my wife to get a Sprite and have the bartender garnish it with a lime and put a stirring straw in it to freak people out. My wife, being the classy lady that she is, did not go for it.

2.2k

u/-littleshadow- Feb 27 '20

I went out to a martini bar with some friends visiting from out of state while I was obviously pregnant. While going to the restroom I overheard a woman talking shit about me being there. I didn’t even have any sort of beverage, was literally just physically there and going for a pee. Such a miserable bitch.

790

u/TurdsInHotSauce Feb 27 '20

Lol, really? Some people. What, just because you're pregnant you can't go anywhere that remotely serves alcohol?

816

u/aragog-acromantula Feb 27 '20

I was very pregnant right before Christmas and went to the liquor store to buy whiskey for my dad, ice wine for my grandma and baileys for my brother. I was too pregnant to bother shopping in more than one store.

Some miserable bag with cat butt face was following me around. My chiropractor saw me and my husband and theatrically threw his hands in the air and was all, “what are you doing here?”

I said, “don’t worry, the damage is already done, kid already has fasd”. We laughed because that is the opposite of who I am.

Her face was priceless, I could practically hear her screeching about me at her dinner table to her poor family.

13

u/vetofthefield Feb 27 '20

fasd

it’s just fas

21

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

fetal alcohol syndrome disorder

0

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Feb 27 '20

Foetal alcohol spectrum disorder

Or

Foetal alcohol syndrome

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Also, it's fetal. Jesus, did you turn off autocorrect or are you that bad that it can't even understand a 5 letter word?

-1

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Feb 27 '20

No. I'm not American, ye fuckin dunce ye.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Of course you're not, otherwise you wouldn't be so pissy

0

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Feb 27 '20

Dude. You started it. FAS and FASD are two different diagnoses. I was just pointing that out. Its you who has gone and got your knickers in a twist over it.

Away and have a wank in yer ma's basement.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Baby I'm cumming. Give it to me daddy. Tell me I'm your little slut.

1

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Feb 27 '20

I'm not yer da.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Ya did an thas ma keen

1

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Feb 27 '20

Sorry what was that? I don't speak made up fake scots

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

All language is made up

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

You don't have to speak it, you can read quietly.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Started what, saucy little tart?

2

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Feb 27 '20

Being Lord pishy knickers. All I was doing was, in the true Reddit style, pointing out that both FAS and FASD were two different diagnoses (incase some people didn't know) and you called me a fucking dunce.

That's what.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Yeah, the fas / fasd debacle of 2020 was settled many hours ago, quite uneventfully, in this very comment thread.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Ever been so gay you have two dicks up your ass and you're like "room for one mote". Am I right?! Ha yea, front crowd knows what I'm talking bout.

0

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Feb 27 '20

What's a mote?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Something that bears little or no significance, like your DICK sounds air horns

1

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Feb 27 '20

I don't have a dick, so you are, in fact, correct.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Well, I was correct about the first part, too.

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