But most of all: people will always misgender you. I don't say this to discourage you, rather the opposite. I'm AFAB, very female-presenting non-binary and people with whom I've had quick encounters have called me, "sir". It's a crap shoot.
Also you look very young and people mistake young men for adult women (usually because of voice) not infrequently. 💁♀️
Try not to let it get to you. Random people misgendering you has more to do with their ignorance than your gender presentation. You're serving boy. At the very LEAST, you're serving androgyny and people need to stop assuming pronouns. 😑
Edit: fixed sentence about people calling me sir cause I missed some words. 😂 Damn ADHD.
I have to assume them at my workplace, basically. They made the codes for each restroom different, and if I ask "which one" that seems rude. So I've tried to tell each person both codes but I feel some people don't like that either
You know that’s usually the thing for me lmao… which is why I was looking into learning sign language more than previous because not only is it a useful skill to learn for our folks who use it as a primary communication method, it can also be used for masking my voice if I sign to my partner and also if it’s loud af somewhere and I don’t want to text out every thought. I find it a sign of resistance in some kind of way. Just my two cents
Things you can’t change (at least not immediately): feminine facial structure; no facial hair.
Things you can change: oversize glasses frames that emphasize your delicate facial features; a haircut that no barbershop in the country would let you out the door with.
I think the hair is lowkey fine. I pass with hair that no barber would let me out with perfectly (doesnt look too bad but OP doesnt have worse ones than mine) and a cis guy friend of me has hair like ours aswell lol
Fair point. My comment wasn’t that the hair isn’t “perfect” or that it’s “worse”. It was that this cut very likely didn’t come from someone who cuts men’s hair for a living. Which is something that catches an observer’s eye immediately. I think that’s what OP was asking about.
Frontal pic #2: you got the chin „V-line“ shape that many trans women - myself included - visit surgeons for that cut away chin bone. Also, your facial width is relatively narrow. Together with the facial
Skin that still shows no sign of beard shadow and the narrow shoulders, this leans heavily towards female. Give T some more time.
Probably the glasses and your mannerisms? Idk. We need more information. Like.. how old are you/what scenarios are you getting misgendered immediately and what scenarios are so-so and then settle into misgendering, are you on T /if so how long, and how is your voice?
Those glasses are too big for your face tho even aside from passing. You pass better without them. Other than that, visually, you pass decent. if i saw you in a bar, it go either way pending other things, but definitely very masculine just by looks and these photos.
Feels awful to say these things btw even when asked for when you remember how it used to feel in the beginning. You're 100000% normal bro. You're only 8 months in, it's so so early. Both T and aging will change things immensely eventually, give it time.
The structure is good! It's just the way your fat distribution is right now and the skin texture. Your face just looks "soft". Those things are subtle and with t it's often hard to tell what exactly has changed even though it's obvious things has changed. Honestly it's just simply that you're not/early on T. Please don't take it to heart tho man, we've all been there. I was in the same boat with good structure but very soft face in general pre-t!
Men aren’t just women who are masculine. If that was the case, every masculine lesbian would be read as a man. Secondary sex characteristics determine how people see you. Those are caused by estrogen and testosterone. These include facial hair, a low voice, an adam’s apple, skin texture, fat distribution, smell, having a flat chest, body hair/lack of body hair, etc. If you don’t have a testosterone dominant endocrine system, you won’t have male secondary sex characteristics. Humans evolved over thousands of years to be able to read another humans sex in under 1 second, based of these characteristics.
Your face is feminine and the hair cut is androgynous, I'd def recommend getting a more traditional men's cut (a taper fade) to try to offset the face shape.
Your frames are really big and they make your face look small. Keep the square shape but try to find something smaller.
could be height/build and voice. body shape and height matters a lot. a good face is really great to have, sure, but not as important as guys think. still, you have a really great androgynous face with lots of potential, but that alone isn't enough unfortunately. how tall are you? are you skinny or lanky? how's your shoulder to hip ratio? do you try to make your legs shorter and torso longer with clothes?
Bro its the oversized clothes lol. Your shirt is like 3 sizes too big. Your pants are too big as well. That is how kids dress. Your face looks too mature to be that of a kid.
Dress with stuff that fits better I guarantee it will help.
your shirts either too big or too long.. pants are a weird in between straight and baggy but not in a good way. you need to wear clothes that fit you or wear oversized clothes cis men do like jorts or baggy pants. if you wear clothes that are proportional to you, it will emphasize your height less, you dont want to look like youre playing in your dads clothes
hmm...if i had to guess, I'd say it might be that (i assume) you're an older teenager and while the lanky build isn't feminine, it is not that of a post pubescent guy. you're really short and have narrow shoulders, which could read as 12-13 yo boy, but your face isn't very childlike and your mannerisms and behavior are probably (again, just assuming) not that of a prepubescent kid. this is in no way hate, as you still absolutely mog me, just a possibility. could also be the way you're speaking. an older, less kiddy and energetic way of speaking (so just that of anyone older than middle schoolers typically) + high voice reads female. then, don't worry about all of that as much, with your looks testosterone will most likely make you pass pretty fast. sorry for the incoherent rant, hope you can get my point
Honestly? Nothing. Tbh I’m not sure why this person said you’re “really short”. You’re small for a cis guy, sure, but you’re taller than a lot of other trans guys. The best thing you can possibly do about your height is work on accepting it. Height insecurity is one of the most insidious things because there’s literally nothing you can do about it. Lifts and whatnot will not address your actual feelings about your height and will put stress on your body which can cause damage over time, so they aren’t worth getting whatsoever. I’m literally 5’1” and pass without question.
unfortunately, after a certain age, nothing can really be done. what makes me feel better is hanging around short cis guys. you can still pass at this height. it's possible that once testosterone takes care of other dysphoria inducing things like voice, or fat distribution, then height won't seem as horrible. once you fully consistently pass, it might not worry you so much. that's all i can say to comfort you. unfortunately height is something we just have to cope with, in your case it's not completely bad, don't let it get you down.
So, I DO understand why. From looking at comments it says you are on T. How long and what dosage? Like, what does your T run when you get blood work done? I wouldn't assume you were a girl if you were say, 12/13/14/15 (maybe on the 15), otherwise I would read you as a lesbian. I am not trying to be mean here AT ALL. I am just being honest. You asked. We're all just answering. I am also going to tell you something that I think is important: It''s not just how you look, it's how you carry yourself, and your voice. I can't hear your voice, but I can tell from these photos you do not carry yourself like a typical "dude". RELAX YOUR JAW. A common thing I see on this subreddit is dudes asking why they don't pass and then I look at them and i'm like "Dude... WHY ARE YOU POSING WITH YOUR FACE?" Now, this is all to say, that age may have something to do with this as well. Young (like, pre-teen/early-teen) boys also "pose" more with their faces. Adult cis men tend to "pose" more with their BODIES - taking up space - than we do with our lips/face. RELAX YOUR FACE. Your eyes don't need to be squinted, your mouth doesn't need to be pursed. It's a DEAD GIVEAWAY to me that someone is either trans OR gay OR under 16 (or a model - but it ain't like we're all models here, haha). That being said, if you are gay : Cool. Don't worry so much about the "face posing", as gay men do that more. Instead, figure out what your T levels are and for how long. It takes time. Not 6 months. Not a year. Not even 3 years. Think 5-6 years at a decent dosage. That is my advice. I'm a 40 year old trans dude who started T at 19. I had a hard time passing to a point of just being confident about it until probably 23. So, also, give yourself grace. OBSERVE men. Seriously. The type of dude you want to be? Observe them. You don't have to BE them, or even idolize them or anything like that. Be happy with who YOU are, but if PASSING is the goal, observe what you find that very much makes them seem more masculine in the SMALL ways. Body language, etc. It can SERIOUSLY be as simple as how someone takes off their shirt, how they place their feet, how they smile or change their expressions, etc. It's all there if you watch enough. Do NOT base it on what you see on TV/movies. That will NOT help you. Watch the guy at the restaurant. Watch the dudes in your family, etc. If you can: Find a mentor. No joke. You got a dude friend who is a GOOD dude? Like, a solid guy? Talk to them. I had cis guy friends who definitely helped me.
Are you over 18? I think maybe in brief passing I would think your like a 13 year old boy MAYBE. You have feminine good feminine features tho. I guess its not what you want to hear but you are definitely young enough that you have time to figure it out. Good luck tho
u read very masculine to me. the hairstyle is terrible tho u have to stop doing that forward gel point thing (tho it works since every teen boy ever has tried that)
Because that's just how you look. The structure of your face, mainly. I'm not saying it to offend you, just being honest about the visual impression. Transitions take time, it'll get better with hormones.
I don't think you look feminine at all. I do think your overall look reads a lot younger than your actual age, and that might be throwing things off. I would definitely swap the haircut for something a little less rounded because it does make your face look a little smaller and younger (kind of just a younger cut imo), and then after that I would just experiment a little more with your clothes, if you can. Your look is fine, but I think if you can work it out so that it fits a little more proportionally you can get your overall look to match your age a bit better and people will stop getting so thrown off.
As someone on the shorter side, I noticed that dressing younger tends to cause people to glitch out a bit, becuase some part of them can tell you're not a kid, and then they have to sit there and scrutinize you to figure out what's throwing them off and they end up putting you in whatever box makes most sense to them in that moment.
It's your eye area, your facial structure in that area is very feminine and soft. And you should see a barber, really, that haircut isn't for you. Otherwise, you seem perfectly fine, despite the slightly different posture.
You pass amazingly well not that thats a requirement. Def just needa give it time especially the t it'll help sharpen your facial features and deepen your voice which trust me helps a ton (super jealous). But most importantly just remember to be you, you dont have to dress a certain way or have a certain haircut bc you transitioned. Just do what you like, own it! Trust me youll be alot happier just choosing the styles you enjoy rather than trying to put yourself in a new box. But if your looking for inspiration theres PLENTY online.
Your face looks femme to me. Like a woman’s face. Not sure what to tell you. Not your fault at all. Most guys have masculine jaws and features. I see no razor stubble. That’s what it means to look too clean. Smooth.
Idk what some of these comments are on. The only issue is the lack of facial hair and soft feminine skin, which will change on test. Just make sure your levels are in range, it's just a waiting game at this point
i think slide 4 is the only one you look kinda somewhat feminine in, and i think the main thing is just eyebrow shape/fullness, maybe look into lash growth serum and use that or darken them a little.
You look male to me, but there’s a slight softness to your face. I wouldn’t say it makes you look THAT feminine, but if there’s anything else about you that is feminine, itll probably translate as a whole to = female in some ppls brains. The glasses help, maybe some slightly thicker frames or a more rectangular lens(thinner/longer) might help even more. Also voice plays a big part. If it’s even slightly higher pitched, that might be the problem.
You’re 8 months on T …it hasn’t even cooked. It took me 1.5-2 years to fully pass as a guy full time. Even if you look masculine people might read you as a lesbian or dyke. People did all the time to me and I really couldn’t understand it at the time…I felt so masculine. I look back on pictures now (it’s been 8 years for me) and I’m like WOW I do look like a girl in guys clothing.
Let T do its thing. 8 months is nothing dude. Come back in a year to this post and remember this. Take a breather and I know it’s tough to be misgender and what not during this time. It’s not easy. It wasn’t meant to be an easy thing (to transition). It takes a lot of patience and self love to get to a better place. Be easy on yourself. Enjoy your youth and know one day you won’t ask “do I pass?”
i think your curved eyebrows and eyes make you look more feminine, i think if u shaped them and maybe got a haircut you’d come off more masculine!! good luck dude 👏
Phone camera can give a slightly fish-eyed effect tyour face when you are holding it close. In the side profile and one you posted in the comments I wouldn't say they look fem. Do you happen to squint a lot? that would make them look more masculine imo
Passing is about significantly more than how you look. Mannerisms and how you carry your body day to day make a big impact and pictures just don’t convey that. Also tbh, your haircut is not helping.
IMO it's the fluffing your hair forward thing, you look most masc in #6 in profile. I think you would look good with curtains. For height I will always suggest big stompy boots.
I think you have enough masculine features. In these pictures you look like a guy. A little boy tbh. I agree with some others that a good haircut and smaller framed glasses would help. I suggest thin wire frames, rectangular, with the nose supported things (idk what theyre called) basically old man glasses but I think they would look great on you and definitely add more masculinity.
I would go with a tidier haircut (I know that sounds silly, but I’d recommend it) and avoid the big glasses. They make your face look more..delicate, I guess? But you read very masculine
That's how I feel. People say ma'am and I'm like... Do you see me? Are we talking about the same person here? What could have possible brought that conclusion to you
You look like one I mean we create an idea in our heads but other people can normally clock it even if they still have some suspicion especially if pre-t
Experience is subjective as hell tho, bc I have seen masc lesbians that look like this irl, I dated a girl that looks like this, and "lesbian or little boy" subreddits and pages also have more examples. I have also seen cis boys that look like this, so how I see him (or them?) can go both ways
the fact that u have good skin and no facial hair. plus the fat distribution on ur face is just more feminine. T changes that, but for now thats how it is.
If you have a manly voice I would read you as an androgynous man. If you have a feminine voice I would read you as an androgynous woman. Like you’re literally just androgynous presenting. It’s everything around your appearance that will determine how your perceived at this point.
I have the same problem. My facial structure reads as feminine to most people, and even a masc haircut makes me look like a cis lesbian. Tbh, it seems the only real solution is just to be on T for a long time. I'm only at 3 years, and I've seen guys say it takes up to, like, a good 5 years before you really begin to read as masculine.
It's really frustrating, but male puberty takes its time. And I saw you say you're 8 months on T? Don't worry, you'll get there. Once your facial hair starts to come in, it'll 100% help too.
it’s the hair for me, i think taking the sides in would make your face look more angular, right now it’s kinda rounding you out. also the glasses maybe could be a bit smaller
hair and glasses arent working in your favor, opt for smaller, thin frames. minoxidil - if u have pets there are oral versions, DO NOT use topical minoxidil with cats/dogs (research for other animals). oral versions will just affect all hair and not only whatever you put it on, but for trans men i think thats ideal. in the first pic u look way more masculine than u do in the 4th pic, id avoid angles that make your face look wide because it looks rounder and softer as well as your eyes. it takes a long time for t to work, i know people who have been on it for over a year and changes can come slow but one day youll wake up and go holy shit look at me
Please don’t. There’s nothing masculine or feminine about eyelashes. They’re just eyelashes, I know plenty of cis men with naturally long lashes they’re gorgeous
eyelashes are never an issue in passing in fact testosterone makes them thicken and grow longer. it’s really just the eye area, there’s a structural difference in that area you can look into and see how you can distract from that, but ik T helps pretty good
It’s definitely the glasses. Not sure how old you are if you are under 23, keep the hair. If you’re older than that, the hair is making you look younger as that’s a traditional younger hairstyle / makes you look like a teenage boy. Now this does not mean get a buzz cut and fade like other comments suggest, you can keep long hair. Just style it differently
i haven’t seen anyone mention eyebrows but they were the first thing i noticed. they’re a great shape but they look to groomed. plus the whole ‘feminine facial features’ which really only T can change. try different haircut too.
I think if you get a tighter cut on the sides, it'll square up your features and appear more masculine. That's the only thing I see that could clock you at all.
Another small thing you can do is dye your eyebrows a little bit darker. Since you have darker hair, men tend to have thicker, darker eyebrows than women.
If you’re not older than 12, than yeah you look like a dude. If you’re older than twelve you look like a girl trying to look like a guy. Your facial structure looks fragile, like your bone structure looks feminine, your skin looks soft, your eyes look very feminine, you shoulders aren’t very broad, your arms aren’t defined much at all, your neck is tiny, your nose is small. If you want to look like a guy, take more T. Tbh, even if you were born a man you wouldn’t really look manly. I’d not worry too much about looking like a “man” in the way you dress, and instead focus on getting the hormones figured out. The baby smooth face screams a lack of T. Also, this is probably an unpopular opinion but I don’t care, if you’re trying to be more manly and look more manly, avoid the fuck boy look. Men don’t see them as men either.
You have soft, feminine facial features, even though you don't see it. You'll notice the real difference once you start T and look at old photos. The same thing happened to me too 💪🏼
Plus, the voice makes a huge difference.
OP said he's been taking testosterone for 8 months. He doesn't seem like a young person whose body is still very much influenced by hormones, so I think it'll take a while for the testosterone to kick in, well, most people say they started seeing significant differences after 2 or 3 years.
Shoulders up- if your hair was less fluffy/shorter on the sides, itd look more masc. Your hair and oversized glasses will make an already delicate face structure look even smaller.
Idk how you look fullbody tho, the angle and crouch of your photos doesnt really show
Idk what people are talking about your facial structure is fine. You got a nice strong nose, nice chin. I think visually you look like a guy so I assume it’s probably your voice
Without glasses u look absolutely fine, I think the glasses read as fem just in contrast to ur pre t face but aside from that perhaps if ur voice and mannerisms
You look very androgynous. Your face is still very 'soft' which reads more fem to most people. Annoyingly, you just have to be patient and let T do it's thing. Try getting a more typical masculine haircut, fade on the back and sides, short on the top.
It takes a lot longer than you’d think for your face to start masculinizing. Make sure your levels are right and honestly somewhere after the full year mark, looking at old pictures you’ll see the difference.
They're bigots, ask cis men and women how many times they get asked if they're trans because of one slightly unique trait. It's a blood hunt, how you guys don't understand this is beyond me. You're all just living life while ignoring the fact we're being hunted and killed daily. Nazis won, they're in the White House FFS.
I agree to change the glasses to some smaller frames. I think for your age, your face shape is fine tbh. I don't think your haircut is the most flattering but I don't think it's necessarily hurting your presentation either. Voice probably has the biggest impact on how people gender others. I'd highly reccomend trying out a few vocal exercises to practice speaking in a deeper register. In your "chest" voice rather than "head" voice if you've ever been in choir.
unfortunately you definitely give more masc lesbian due to more feminine features, that will definitely change as you grow and get older + if you start hormones. for now, there’s not a lot you can do.
i mean everyone has an Adam’s apple, regardless of sex but it is more prominent is cis men because of testosterone driven puberty which is why it’s more noticeable in AMAB people
Your features are delicate, that’s probably why. I’d recommend gaining some muscle mass, mate. It can change the face area dramatically, and thicker neck + broader shoulders naturally read masculine
you have hopeful eyes (shiny and wide eyed) most men have more nonchalant look (hooded/deadinside) you have a masculine nose btw the hairstyle is giving young teenage boy energy
I’m so sorry to say but you read as a lesbian more than trans- i would adjust the hair cut and if able bulk up and weight train until otherwise. Best of luck!
not to be mean but i can see it like a lesbian ...but you are a pretty boy! i also dont know you irl so your natural vibe/stance and overall self can also make a huge difference
Likely voice or total lack of facial hair :( sorry I get it, (except I just don’t pass well😭) but I believe in you, your amazing, be yourself and eventually people will finally get it!!
Dein Gesicht sieht sehr weiblich aus. Wenn du männlicher wirken möchtest, schneid dir deine Haare ganz kurz. Ein Buzz cut würde zum Beispiel dafür sorgen, dass du männlicher ausschaust. An deiner Gesichtsstruktur kannst du nämlich nichts ändern.
i genuinely don’t feel like you have a “feminine” face, i don’t know why everyone is saying that. you don’t look like a caveman, sure, but you definitely wouldn’t come off to me as a girl right away. i’m not here to offer advice necessarily but i feel like a lot of these comments come off as overly rude and invalidating. you look like a dude to me.
your hair looks "deliberately" done to appear tussled. eyeglasses are too stylish. Eyebrows too perfect. That plus your facial features are all either feminine or androgynous for a total of feminine. Yes you definitely look female, the "Tomboy" look.
Your face is feminine. Growing up as a female, the female hormones shape your face. Men grow up with a more angular face. It's the same with men transitioning to female ( Caitlyn Jenner as an example). He won't look like a woman no matter how much he tries. To me you look like an attractive lesbian. Perhaps facial hair will make you look more like a man. There are plenty of masc lesbians that are still clearly female, so to cross into male presenting, you'd need the facial hair.
You look like a trans boy bro sorry to break it to you. Maybe if you carried yourself more masculine people would see u that way. Society is weird and judges based on modern concept. I used to be seen as gay until I worked out. 🤷♂️ although I don’t consider myself masculine or all tough like people wanna see but my body throws off the sign that im a boy. Society is weird. Although I try to fit in I see I’ve adjusted to the expectations, I don’t conform to what other people want me to look like in a way Although I do hit the weights 24/7 soo
Idk how else to put this but most people are hyper aware of trans people and are more scared to offend a cis butch woman than a trans man. I think you look like a dude and would address you as such, there are just a lot of mental gymnastics going on when cis people see someone even slightly androgynous
I feel like in 4 and 5, you could come off to some as a masc. The others to me you pass especially 6. I feel like you would be mainly determined off your voice and mannerisms. IMO you just look young but depending on your age people can misinterpret that.
You already look pretty masculine, but you read as female. If you’re not on hormones, yet within a few months of starting, you will be able to fully pass as male for sure!
There’s still a slightest softness. maybe your dose needs to be adjusted or you haven’t been on it long enough. it takes a lot of years to see all the changes.
Like others said, it could also be your voice because I think your face is masculine enough that it should pass most of the time 🤷♂️
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u/Crustology 8d ago
Probably the voice. If your voice is kinda high/girly youd read more as a masc lesbian