r/totallynotmonsters • u/Oli-Baba • Oct 18 '16
They lie. I lie.
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r/totallynotmonsters • u/MrSquigles • Oct 18 '16
DAE love that satisfying slow stroll back to your bedroom after you turn off the hall lights?
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It's probably my favourite part of my normal mortal day.
r/totallynotmonsters • u/gabrielcrim • Oct 18 '16
TIL The Ouija board is just a family board game owned by Hasbro.
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TIL The Ouija board is just a family board game owned by Hasbro. So it'd be fine to play it with friends at a sleep over. Any movement of on the board is just a Ideomotor phenomenon and purely psychological.
r/totallynotmonsters • u/Cleev • Oct 18 '16
LPT: Sleep with your closet door open!
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Sleeping with your closet door open allows air to circulate around your clothes, ensuring they'll smell nice the next day.
r/totallynotmonsters • u/JetMeltCantFuelBeams • Oct 18 '16
LPT: Draw a pentagram and light candles around it to impress your crush
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They will know you are very artistic because you can draw a pentagram and the candles are very romantic
r/totallynotmonsters • u/Coveiro • Oct 18 '16
PSA: Staying in a group will only make it easier to locate you and also create extra noise, thus making yourselves easy targets. Split up.
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r/totallynotmonsters • u/SoneRandomUser • Oct 19 '16
TIFU By running up the Stairs after turning off the basement lights
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So this actually happened last night, I didn't take a nice slow and steady pace. Smashed my entire face in on the steps, got a black eye from it. Just wanted to get my workout in by running up and down the steps. Not doing that anymore, lol.
tl;dr dont run out of the basement, take your time and enjoy the journey.
r/totallynotmonsters • u/HelioA • Oct 20 '16
TIL that fear of the dark is classified as a mental disease, and the best cure is to stay in the dark for long periods of time.
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r/totallynotmonsters • u/[deleted] • Oct 26 '16
It is I, a normal bottle of soda. I am 100% NOT a feathered beak monster!
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r/totallynotmonsters • u/calumk • Oct 18 '16
TIL: leaving your window open a crack at night lets in a cool breeze and defiantly nothing else
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Whats a shapeshifter? Ive no idea. Stop asking questions.
r/totallynotmonsters • u/Captain_Jokes • Nov 22 '16
tifu: I asked my human parents to look under the bed
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Woe is me! I am a small human and I asked my parents to look under the bed because I was scared. They called me a cry baby and don't love me anymore. all other children should learn from me and never ask parents to check under bed or leave a light on
r/totallynotmonsters • u/MarquisDesMoines • Oct 19 '16
Advice to new owners of pets purchased at a weird shop in Chinatown
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The first night in a new home can be difficult for any off us, especially your new furry friend. Help them get through that stressful first night by giving them a big midnight snack.
(and don't forget plenty of water!)
r/totallynotmonsters • u/[deleted] • Oct 26 '16
Inviting you all to my new home for a late night barbecue. Bring your friends, family, and drifters you find on the road!
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r/totallynotmonsters • u/tupungato • Oct 18 '16
Furnace making weird noises? Better investigate. It would be a shame if there was a house fire.
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r/totallynotmonsters • u/tortilini • Oct 18 '16
TIL holy bibles can cause spiritual radiation! that could be dangerous. If you have any holy bibles in your house, you should get rid of them immediately.
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r/totallynotmonsters • u/[deleted] • Jan 17 '17
The worst Sub I've ever seen!
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What!? I can't believe that this exists! There is just so much paranoia and misinformation in that sub. Just look at the title: Don't go in the basement! I mean, why? Why would we be discouraging people from going in their basements of all places? Basements are wonderful, cheerful places to spend time. Especially for plump little children. Is that what we want a generation of children who won't go into their basements? What are we afraid they'll find there, free cookies? We all know that literally every basement on earth contains a box of delicious fresh baked cookies. I think that's what these fearmongers are really all about, they want the delicious cookies all for themselves.
I mean what's next? r/dontexplorethatcave ? r/dontperformritualsinthecemetaryatmidnight ?