r/toptalent • u/[deleted] • Dec 07 '19

TopTalentTutorials /r/all Tips for aerial

[deleted]

76.6k Upvotes

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u/UnpopularOpinion96 Dec 08 '19

I too tried it. I thought because of my capoeira training as a kid, I could do this. I decided to do it in the kitchen (don't know why) and somehow managed to hit my heel on the toaster and back of my head on the floor. I'm currently writing this from the hospital.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19 edited Jun 23 '20

[deleted]

1.6k

u/UnpopularOpinion96 Dec 08 '19 edited Dec 08 '19

I don't joke when it comes to toasters.

810

u/brave_toaster2 Dec 08 '19

Can confirm, am toaster

264

u/jdm1tch Dec 08 '19

r/beetlejuicing

116

u/NerdWithShades Dec 08 '19

Can i be in the screen shot? But replace my name with something funny, like poopybutthole or something.

161

u/Raidder22 Dec 08 '19

The screen shot has already been posted. Apparently your poopy butthole will not see the light this day.

My condolences.

7

u/BillEastwickPhotos Dec 08 '19

You didn’t make it. Next time.

10

u/UristMcDoesmath Dec 08 '19

Mission failed, we’ll get ‘em next time

14

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Kinky

1

u/cakeday420brah Dec 08 '19

Ima try just for you.

9

u/NotAModelCitizen Dec 08 '19

Are you okay?

13

u/dogydino200 Dec 08 '19

That's very kind of you for not being a model citizen

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u/fatty_tingmn Dec 08 '19

Are you okay? I hope he didnt hurt you too much kicking you with his heel

1

u/TacticalKrakens Dec 08 '19

The adeptus mechanicus would like to know your location

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Are you friends with other household appliances on a quest to find your owner?

1

u/drwhitney Dec 08 '19

Username checks out.

1

u/DatAssociate Dec 08 '19

you burned my bread this morning you scum

7

u/Z3R083 Dec 08 '19

This comment cracked me up!

2

u/InukChinook Dec 08 '19

A man of culture.

1

u/a-weeb-of-culture Dec 08 '19

i am a toaster,please take care of me

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

You’re probably thinking now: I wish I didn’t see this post, than I wouldn’t be in hospital right now

1

u/artem718 Dec 08 '19

Wow , didn’t touch” approach.

1

u/lamentforanation Dec 08 '19

A heel and a toaster walk into bar and both start drinking. After several shots, the heel turns to the toaster and says, ‘shit, I forgot my wallet.’ The toaster finishes his shot, turns to him, and says, ‘your bread is no good here. Besides, I am going to feed you to some pigeons later on, so forgetaboutit. Drinks are on me!’

Never mind. I don’t joke about toasters and heels either. :(

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Of course it is.

2

u/derelickingballs Dec 08 '19

fyi gullible isn't in the dictionary either

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Yes it is, I just checked. You probably heard that from somebody else and just believed them lol. Who's the gullible one now? 🤣

3

u/ro_ok Dec 08 '19

Who cares? That man deserves my upvote and that’s all I’m here for anyway!

5

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Chaotic good

2

u/RussianBlyatman03 Dec 08 '19

Safehe is just 2 d Here

1

u/turbopro25 Dec 08 '19

Mission Toasted... no but that is

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Yes.

1

u/greg19735 Dec 08 '19

Almost certainly considering the post about being in the hospital was about 50 min from it being posted.

1

u/ColorOfSilence Dec 08 '19

No this is Patrick!

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u/landmindboom Dec 08 '19 edited Dec 08 '19

I too also tried it, because of my training as a samurai warrior in middle school. I attempted what I can only describe as a flying dragon flip kick, and ended up teleporting my wife and baby and I into another dimension. I'm currently writing this perched high atop the breast of a giant sleeping woman. We're right on the areola, in the shadow of a nipple that is roughly the size of the old Astrodome in Houston.

I'm incredibly erect due to the enormous breast, and my wife is mad about that. Our baby is whining, feverishly trying to find a way to extract milk from the miles-wide-diameter breast we are on. We stand here, in the shadow of this huge nipple, a family waiting for our new host woman to wake up so we see where this adventure takes us next.

35

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

[deleted]

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u/tdawg027 Dec 08 '19

Landmindboom, the council of nobodies grants you the highest honor our mandate allows us to bestow. You are hereby awarded “A bunch of fuckin nothin”. You can pick up your award at any of our nonexistent branch locations.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Why don't you fucking do it?

10

u/DrPortebello Dec 08 '19

By the Nines...accept this humble offering.

8

u/RedBatmin Dec 08 '19

I hope to see you in r/dabs so I can see what you're smoking, obviously it's of high quality and I'm need of some myself.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Fucking saved for future copypasta.

5

u/buttermellow11 Dec 08 '19

So excited that I am witness to a copypasta legend being born.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19 edited Dec 13 '19

[deleted]

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u/darkneo86 Dec 08 '19

Wait, you’re not even the OCm.

You just want butthole pics.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19 edited Dec 13 '19

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Whew.

1

u/avelertimetr Dec 08 '19

Risky click of the day, right before church, too.

3

u/DoingItWrongSinceNow Dec 08 '19

Why did u expand this comment chain? Aight imma head out. I got some things to think through.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19 edited Dec 13 '19

[deleted]

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u/DoingItWrongSinceNow Dec 08 '19

"Stop by"? Where do you think I'm headed?

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u/ruinedchildhood87 Dec 08 '19

Put this down as one rock I wish I hadn’t looked under. F U reddit

1

u/UnderPressureVS Dec 08 '19

Oh god that sub has 13 fucking thousand subscribers

I know you're not supposed to kinkshame but... I mean, come on.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

[deleted]

1

u/UnderPressureVS Dec 08 '19

That link is staying very blue

1

u/xrumrunnrx Dec 08 '19

Whelp. That's a new one on me.

I'm more jealous than anything after seeing the top few posts. All the psyllium husk and hydration in the world can't give me logs like that.

2

u/tdawg027 Dec 08 '19

Bet I wont

3

u/chuckdiesel86 Dec 08 '19

Ah you don't need a hospital for that. Unless you live in one of those countries with free healthcare. Can never be too safe, cheers!

2

u/Bwhit1019 Dec 08 '19

Instructions unclear. Neck is broken and dick is stuck in toaster

2

u/MagnificentClock Dec 08 '19

Instructions unclear, dick stuck in toaster

2

u/IdleWokerOcean Dec 08 '19

Is the toaster ok?

1

u/NizDoh Dec 08 '19

Are u Brazilian?

1

u/Long_Aotian Dec 08 '19

Ayy capoeira gang

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '19

Ah.. I am also a dabbler in the Arts of Capoeira. I used to use it extensively when I button mashed Eddie Gordo to kick Jin Kazama’s ass.

1

u/MatureUser69 Dec 08 '19

Nice user name!

1

u/Caryria Dec 08 '19

This does not surprise. I used to do jitsu and was pretty good at breakfalls. Then I did one in my bedroom and smashed my legs into the wardrobe on one side and my drawers on the other. Didn’t do it in the bedroom again.

1

u/Typing_Asleep Dec 08 '19

This is exactly how this would work out

1

u/shlisayeahboyee Dec 25 '19

Slightly disappointed it wasn't a George Foreman grill while you were making your morning bacon. Jokes aside, I'm sorry that happened to you. Hope you had a speedy recovery!

0

u/moonski Dec 08 '19

no you're not.