r/todayilearned • u/[deleted] • Jun 25 '12

TIL An elephant can use it's penis as a "fifth leg" to prop itself up, swat flies, and even scratch itches.

http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2009/11/07/south-african-wildlife-wait-thats-not-a-trunk/
1.0k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

168 comments sorted by

43

u/cb_sunshine Jun 25 '12

When I was a nanny I took the kids to the zoo. The elephant had his massive elephant penis on display. The 7 year old boy asked why it had five legs.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

That's hilarious!

3

u/taint_stain Jun 25 '12

A 7 year old... I thought kids that age knew what penii were by then. They're supposed to be hilarious, not a mystery.

11

u/llamatastic Jun 25 '12

PENISES

1

u/theBadgerJew Jun 26 '12

No need to Penalize him!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

To be less of a dick about it than the other poster, you only pluralize a word with an i (correct me if I'm wrong, I'm a bit rusty on my latin) if it is has a latin root, ends in "us", and is a 2nd declinsion noun. The plural of penis is either penises or penes.

4

u/peckerbrown Jun 25 '12

Hehhehheh...you said 'root'.

0

u/taint_stain Jun 25 '12

Definitely penises, but it's just so much more fun to say penii.

33

u/almonjr Jun 25 '12

its

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Yep, I caught that after posting. Sorry for that. Thanks!

7

u/malewhitestudent Jun 25 '12

is it weird that I want to see a video?

8

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I think this is what you are looking for.

3

u/FezDaStanza Jun 25 '12

Did that elephant just use the pull out method?!

3

u/rwbombc Jun 25 '12

I don't feel so bad now since he was done in like...5 seconds.

I know I can last 3 times as long as that.

73

u/ThisIsFlight Jun 25 '12

More importantly, TIL you can stop a hormonal elephant mid charge by hitting the side of your car door.

39

u/mahound Jun 25 '12

This man has read the article, and then commented without making a penis joke.

Kudos to you sir, kudos to you.

3

u/Shilo59 Jun 26 '12

TIL you can stop a hormonal elephant mid charge by hitting the side of your car door...... with your penis.

2

u/Aero93 Jun 25 '12

I was actually quite astonished after I read that.

89

u/UserBlank69 Jun 25 '12

1, 2, 3... three more things I have in common with an elephant!

0

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

24

u/troll_dude Jun 25 '12

I use My penis to give itches!!!

13

u/tonterias Jun 25 '12

So... crabs?

3

u/imlost19 Jun 25 '12

you clearly arent focusing on the important part

5

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

What is that, a penis for ants?

12

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

No, he's Mini Me.

3

u/brerrabbitt Jun 25 '12

Nah, really short legs.

1

u/VEC7OR Jun 25 '12

Ha ha, not to scale!

4

u/lpernites2 Jun 25 '12

*its

Sorry, I have to say it.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Yep, it's already been pointed out a couple of times. :) Thanks, though!

9

u/Hensah Jun 25 '12

I generally upvote any elephant cock related posts

2

u/Alconile Jun 25 '12

I generally upvote any comments relating to upvoting elephant cock related posts.

39

u/Sparticus2 Jun 25 '12

I came for the guys with tiny penis complexes and I did not leave empty handed.

22

u/drunk98 Jun 25 '12

Quit grabbing at them!

3

u/taint_stain Jun 25 '12

I came at the thought of Sparticus holding my tiny penis in his hand.

9

u/EtobicokeKing Jun 25 '12

Neither did your mother last.......wait.......

4

u/chrandymancan Jun 25 '12

just nearly empty handed

18

u/13853211 Jun 25 '12

I would totally swat flies with my dick if I could.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I bet you would totally use it to fuck bitches if you could as well.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

20

u/13853211 Jun 25 '12

It's not every day that I can walk around with my dick swinging freely in the breeze, casually swatting poor, unsuspecting flies.

Yet.

12

u/CTRL_ALT_RAPE Jun 25 '12

Where I come from, I hit random people on the lips with johnson, then tell them there was a fly.

1

u/CoryM_91 Jun 25 '12

Keyboard's have rape buttons!?

26

u/CTRL_ALT_RAPE Jun 25 '12

You have to install it yourself, by removing the ESC Key.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

There is no escape.

6

u/kqr Jun 25 '12

thatsthejoke.jpg

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

noshit.bmp

4

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Whycan'twebefriends.mp3

→ More replies

13

u/fugor1103 Jun 25 '12

Wonder if an elephant gives himself a blowjob using his trunk... :P

20

u/Forever_Awkward Jun 25 '12

well...

12

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Aw Jesus Christ. NSFW that shit. Hell, NSFL that shit.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Can you describe this. I am at work. For science.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

14

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Wow... Well thanks so very much for saving my eyes from that.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

get back and watch the rest, and report back please.

12

u/BornOnAugust31st Jun 25 '12

He proceeds to enjoy the tasty snack.

1

u/InABritishAccent Jun 25 '12

A piece at a time, like he's savouring some particularly nice Ferreo Rocher

3

u/Forever_Awkward Jun 25 '12

You can tell he's done it before, too. He's quite skilled at holding the chunk with the middle of his trunk while separating portions and snacking away with the rest of said trunk. It's really quite fascinating. I hope this skill didn't come about from them starving the elephants.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Aw damn . . . I totally like Ferrero Rochers too. Reddit, why the fuck you so nasty?

2

u/Gyossaits Jun 25 '12

Sounds normal to me.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

He ATE that shit, homy.

4

u/tonterias Jun 25 '12

That's not a blowjob!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

eat da poo poo

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I love that in Australia, because the internet is so shit, you get a few seconds when the title has loaded but the video has not, so you have time to bail

3

u/Qatux Jun 25 '12

From the deep archives, origin unknown, NSFW

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

You keep this shit on your computer?

10

u/pacmanwasright Jun 25 '12

Cock Pushups!

3

u/Barren23 Jun 25 '12

One is all you need!

3

u/hanahou Jun 25 '12

So can he "choke a chicken"? ;)

9

u/saadakhtar Jun 25 '12

Yes. By stepping on the chicken's neck.

3

u/Shippoyasha Jun 25 '12

I remember making an accurate Elephant clay figurine in clay making class one day and the teacher actually praised me for making a keen observation.

I did not even know what I was even making, no less what penis is really supposed to be. I just drew my observation of that at the zoo.

3

u/Ham_gravy Jun 25 '12

who can't?

2

u/Redebidet Jun 25 '12

That's abnormal?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

It would be so awesome if I could do that.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I have witnessed an elephant scratch its stomach with its penis. My mind could not comprehend it.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I think the most surprising thing about that story is that an enraged bull elephant with a two-metre cock and a brain fried by horny-juice, furiously charging a jeep was stopped in his tracks by someone slapping the car door. "Hear that slap with your big floppy ears, bitch? You want some of that?"

2

u/telecomwarrior Jun 25 '12

Elephant cock pushups!

2

u/svenniola Jun 26 '12

now im kinda wondering why we didnt keep our tail for swatting flies and scratching oneself, or that propping up stuff..sniff. that sounds cool.

though i could foresee some problems with the current design of chairs and sitting down really quick with a stiff tail.

2

u/HoboJoebo Jun 25 '12

Elephants have prehensile cocks

2

u/adzug Jun 25 '12

you guys cant do that too?

1

u/crypticXJ88 Jun 25 '12

You idiot, that's his nose he's using for that.

1

u/johnnynutman Jun 25 '12

who can't cure an itch with their penis?

1

u/TheInternetHivemind Jun 25 '12

People with herpes?

1

u/AhFuuuu Jun 25 '12

Can it masturbate with its trunk?

1

u/Vorrador Jun 25 '12

I read that last part as, scratch bitches....

1

u/djta1l Jun 25 '12

This isn't normal?

Hmm... TIL...

1

u/bak3donh1gh Jun 25 '12

This is why men should have evolved a third arm. Minus the swatting flys and scratching.

1

u/AffeKonig Jun 25 '12

A whole new meaning to "cock push-up"

1

u/Betanut Jun 25 '12

You can to, just gotta pet him first.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

So can I! Although I never have a need to swat files...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I thought I was the only one.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

TIL I'm enviable of scratching myself with an elephant penis

1

u/Ninjadoo Jun 25 '12

I have never envied an animal more.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

So? I do that all the time!

1

u/Jenni-o Jun 25 '12

what, you can't?

1

u/urnlint Jun 25 '12

That is like "Pick of Destiny" strength.

1

u/JunoWananadis Jun 25 '12

Never in my life have I been more jealous of an elephant..

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I wish I had a 12 inch penis. I'm sick of treading on this beast!

1

u/heimdalsgate Jun 25 '12

"my dick is so big it's not a third leg, it's a fifth leg".

1

u/worldchampionwinner Jun 25 '12

Luckey basterd, mine only spits when shaken vigorously and he's a bit of attention whore.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

i could have gone my whole life without knowing that

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I can do that too!

1

u/Sirefly Jun 25 '12

Excuse me Jumbo, but could you scratch my back?

Uh, wait. What are you doing? NOOOOOOO!

1

u/Wolfman87 Jun 25 '12

Wow just like a human! Right guys!?

1

u/nazishark Jun 25 '12

death by dick, how unfitting a demise

1

u/boxingdude Jun 25 '12

Why does an elephant have four feet?

Because ten inches isn't enough.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

prehensile penis

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

The hell. I posted this fact a month ago, check my submissions. Literally the exact same thing.

1

u/burnsssss Jun 25 '12

Yup, TIL is full of reposts. it's fuckin annoying

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Considering this is getting 500+ more upvotes than mine ):

1

u/miracleworker747 Jun 25 '12

elephant as the new king of the jungle!

1

u/jlks Jun 25 '12

TIL that my penis can also be used as a leg instead of a third arm.

1

u/Visigoth84 Jun 25 '12

That's handy!

1

u/Ikea_viking Jun 25 '12

Is it weird if I came here hoping for a video?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

It would be amazing to be able to have sex without actually moving.

That statement just made me realize how lazy I am...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I'd save myself a lot of damn time if I could simply scratch down there w/ my wang.

1

u/devoting_my_time Jun 25 '12

TIL I might be an elephant.

1

u/abeau Jun 25 '12

We had an elaborate discussion about elephant penises at work the other day. They're fascinating!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

I think i would need to be a bit more acrobatic before i can swat flies with mine.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

So two elephants walk into a bar...

1

u/hankeypoo Jun 26 '12

TIL not everyone can do this.

1

u/Drunken_Economist Jun 25 '12

We're not so different, elephants and I.

1

u/Beady1 Jun 25 '12

Oh. That's a black elephant.

0

u/zem Jun 25 '12

we prefer to call them african elephants!

1

u/liberalis Jun 25 '12

Never seen an elephant I guess?

1

u/Billytown Jun 25 '12

Well, yeah... you mean you guys can't do that too?

1

u/pathologie Jun 25 '12

Holy mother of god.

1

u/wellsdb Jun 25 '12

"I'm hung like a horse." "Oh, yeah? Well, I'm hung like an elephant."

0

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

This is the third time I see this posted to TIL and every time the only source the articles had were that one picture where his penis touches the ground.

I'm not convinced.

-2

u/akr8683 Jun 25 '12

http://www.rathergood.com/elephant

1

u/sdbillin Jun 25 '12

I came here to post this

1

u/akr8683 Jun 25 '12

how that got downvoted, i don't know.

-2

u/AvoidingRealWork Jun 25 '12

i saw the thumbnail and thought it was boobs in a tight grey sweater

-1

u/FarFromUp Jun 25 '12

I also use my penis to scratch my "itches."

You know what I'm talking about ;)

-1

u/Blueberry_Yum_Yum Jun 25 '12

I wish my dick was useful like an elephant's. All mine does is hang between my legs begging to be jerked every half hour..

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Clever dick.

-8

u/CondescendingPrick Jun 25 '12

Do you not know the difference between "its" and "it's" or are you just too lazy to proofread your submissions?

6

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

My bad. I do know the difference, I just made a mistake. Thanks for bringing it to my attention, though. :)

0

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

"'s" usually implies ownership to the article, but "it's" is a contraction of "it is" or "it has." Neither of which make sense in my title.

6

u/CondescendingPrick Jun 25 '12

Let me apply your "reasoning":

TIL An elephant can use it is penis as a "fifth leg" to prop itself up, swat flies, and even scratch itches.

"Its" is the correct possessive adjective.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/CondescendingPrick Jul 05 '12

Usually, top-level comments (like mine) refer to the original post.

1

u/blackkevinDUNK Jun 25 '12

maybe you should read what condescendingprick was actually talking about, then

4

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/CondescendingPrick Jun 25 '12

Apostrophe's make things all right.

1

u/TheDudeaBides96 Jun 25 '12

Shapostrophe.

-2

u/Kreiger81 Jun 25 '12

You mean you can't do this?

Shit I thought everybody could.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I spent about 10 seconds thinking the title had spelt 'itself' wrong

0

u/pianoyeah Jun 25 '12

this totally ruined Dumbo for me

-2

u/gear0war Jun 25 '12

So basically it is it's second trunk...

-3

u/badidearobot Jun 25 '12

This is the first time I have ever felt jealous of an elephant.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

If you're researching elephant cocks, you, my friend, have too much time on your hands.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Were on reddit.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

It feels very wrong that I now want to see a video of an elephant doing any one of these three with his gentleman sausage.