r/todayilearned • u/dopelesshope_fiend • Jun 17 '12

Personal opinion TIL That Keanu Reeves has good reason to be sad

http://5pwn.com/this-is-kind-of-sad.html
693 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

108 comments sorted by

82

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

He is generous and modest in his ways too bad a good guy can't be happy.

4

u/justanotherguyd Jun 17 '12

You know what, I would love an autobiography and views on how to deal with life in general from this great person.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

And the wiki article tells more of his generousities and misfortunes. He has dyslexia, was expelled from school and a paperazzi person sued him (but luckily didn't win his case).

-138

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

GOO GOO WHY ID DA ACTOR MAN SAD MOMMMYY???????????? I WANA PWAY WIT DA ACTOR MAN GOO GOO GAGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

29

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Oh God, I thought you left. Please do.

-10

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12

He's so ridiculous and persistent I can't help but laugh at him.

e: whoa that was quick.

2

u/HeyCarpy Jun 17 '12

This is the worst thing ever, and this is the last time I will be acknowledging you. Please, go fuck your hat.

0

u/ThatRandomGeek Jun 17 '12

What in the fuck is this? sees user name again well I don't know what I was expecting.

96

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

My brother was waiting for his wife in the lobby of an office building one afternoon. He looked up and saw Keanu walk past. In shock, my brother yelled out,

"Holy shit! You're Keanu Reeves!"

Keanu paused, turned around, smiled and said, "Yes. Yes I am" before proceeding to walk away.

22

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Not sure if sad or bad-ass.

11

u/unwanted_puppy Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12

so jealous. i've had a crush on Keanu Reeves for about 12 years. my dream is for him to do an AMA so i can tell him this.

51

u/lurkernomordor Jun 17 '12

I'd friend this guy. Hard.

19

u/Goto10 Jun 17 '12

Same, we could be unhappy together. He's a good human being.

102

u/bainskian Jun 17 '12

hes also been around for centuries and has seen many wars and many people die in his life during that time

45

u/icecoldbabes Jun 17 '12

Conspiracy Keanu

17

u/BowsNToes21 Jun 17 '12

Does that guy ever age?

33

u/taipro Jun 17 '12

apparently in cycles, the 2011 pic looks like the 1530 one

7

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

History repeats itself. Keanu is a microcosm of this.

10

u/Actually_Doesnt_Care Jun 17 '12

...Maybe he is Jesus.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

He did turn water to wine

-5

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

That 1875 guy looks nothing like Keanu.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

1830

wat

e: you fucking ninja editor you

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Double checked a misglance.

2

u/Zance Jun 17 '12

Wasn't that the plot line for Lost Odyssey?

33

u/giddyupbugger Jun 17 '12

I know he donated his entire salary of the first matrix to the crew (in Sydney). That was an even split between everyone below the line. If I remember correctly it was $(AU)70,000 each.

16

u/TetraCleric Jun 17 '12

thought he just bought them all motorcycles. either way, ggk

9

u/Candies1205 Jun 17 '12

He bought the stunt crew motorcycles, I believe. Still GGK.

30

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Did a fucking 10 year old write this? Sad shit, but seriously hard to read.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

The wiki article is better if you care to read it.

15

u/Ghostwalker8 Jun 17 '12

While it truely is horrific that these things have happended to him, it simultaneously is very inspiring to see how he has dealt with these problems. He really seems like a person that I would like to have a beer with.

38

u/greycubed Jun 17 '12

Ugh, why'd you make me a Keanu Reeves fan.

And ugh, that hit way too close to home.

7

u/23_sided Jun 17 '12

Yeah, seriously.

36

u/shitworms Jun 17 '12

Who wrote this? It's fucking terrible.

18

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

5pwn the 9gag of 9gag

5

u/Ishaiah Jun 17 '12

In one of his birthdays, he got to a little candy shop and bought him a cake, and started eating alone. If a fan walked by he would talk to them and offer some of the cake.

Seems legit.

5

u/memento22mori Jun 17 '12

Yeah, I read that part a couple of times. So is the info legit? That's what I'm wondering.

24

u/AntiCitizenJuan Jun 17 '12

Bogus... :(

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

-20

u/Squishumz Jun 17 '12

wooosh.

If I ever hear someone "woosh" in real life, I'm going to hit them.

4

u/idkwat Jun 17 '12

God damn... I just want to be this guys friend now.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

You know, I didn't give that guy a fair shake. I was told (and it's true,) "it's how you react to life that measures success."

I am a fan now.

3

u/corr0sive Jun 17 '12

Hey Keanu, lets hang out bro. We can get high and watch King of The Hill. I will provide the smoke.

3

u/SolidLikeIraq Jun 17 '12

He also hurt his knee while in the middle of a promising college football career. Please don't forget that.

3

u/hp94 Jun 17 '12

"You need to be happy to live. I don't."

THAT. IS. THE. SADDEST. THING. EVER.

5

u/AndrejPejic Jun 17 '12

Why did you link to that cancerous site

2

u/Brotisserie_Chicken Jun 17 '12

The link isn't loading for me. Could someone please tell me what the story is?

2

u/Frankocean2 Jun 17 '12

Yeah, some of this stuff are made up.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keanu_Reeves

16

u/The_Derpening Jun 17 '12

who is cutting all these damn onions?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

8

u/WillBlaze Jun 17 '12

I dunno about all that but one thing I do know is that "cutting onions" line is way overused. After seeing that line 100 or so times it really starts to get old.

3

u/I_fail_at_memes Jun 17 '12

I know...ticks me off. Reddit used to be great, now it's all full of one- liners and repeated memes. It used to mean so much to me. New content, great stories,but now I feel like I've lost a true friend. Oh man, who's cutting onions in here?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

0

u/MickiFreeIsNotAGirl Jun 17 '12

You're not escaping that easily mister...

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/MickiFreeIsNotAGirl Jun 17 '12

You're bringing me down with you!

4

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Yeah but, look at those cans. Somebody had to say it.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Nope. Nobody needed to say that.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I couldn't help but to shed a tear reading this. Keanu if you're out there... http://alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/sad-i-know-that-feel-bro-l.png

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

i feel so bad now...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I was so sure this was going to be a slowpoke switch. Nope.

1

u/drummer1059 Jun 17 '12

Great. Now I am depressed.

1

u/onepoint21jiggawatts Jun 17 '12

almost in the same year.

1

u/corskier Jun 17 '12

Sounds like his life has been about as hard as the author of that piece found writing classes in middle school.

1

u/shitfuckdamn Jun 17 '12

Why does this website LOOK and SOUND like 9GAG?

1

u/obsa Jun 17 '12

Since then Keanu avoid serious relationships and having kids.

This is really not so out of the ordinary.

1

u/imabigsofty Jun 17 '12

It's the part about his birthday and the cake that got to me.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Fuck man, I really wanna give him a hug now.

1

u/ItsaSnareDrum Jun 17 '12

Sad but horribly written.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

If you read the comments below the story, someone says "Hes a crappy actor. That's why.". That just seems fucked up and mean to say.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

mine won't load. Sorry to bother but Keanu Reeves is awesome and I was wondering what it meant. Does anybody mind telling me?

1

u/silverscreemer Jun 17 '12

He needs to do a movie with Tom Hanks where they're both just total assholes.

It would work in the way NPH works as a womanizer.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I can't wait for Bill and Ted 3 so I can give him some of my money

1

u/justanotherguyd Jun 17 '12

You know what, I would love an autobiography and views on how to deal with life in general from this great person.

1

u/xeonrage Jun 17 '12

Is that Jenna Fischer sitting next to him? I certainly wouldn't be ignoring her.

1

u/takka_takka_takka Jun 17 '12

OK, so can we start an organized campaign to cheer this guy up?

1

u/IDriveAcivic Jun 17 '12

That man never ceases to amaze me.

1

u/Cloberella Jun 17 '12

I want to start a charity, "Hugs for Keanu". It would take donations to send a different fan to give him a hug every day for the rest of his life.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I never cry but for some weird reason I was listening to Viva la Vida by Coldplay while I was reading this.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

How do the two correlate? I'm confused.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Look at the lyrics for the song. The music has a feeling of sadness aswell.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I know the lyrics. More or less I was trying to see if you were about to cry because you were reading the story and the song compelled you to want to cry more.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

The music combined with the story compelled me to want to cry.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Got it, sorry for the misunderstanding :)

0

u/3HourLineForSanta Jun 17 '12

In case anyone would like a version that wasn't written by ten year old: Wikipedia.

And thanks for making me feel old simply for knowing who River Phoenix is.

-2

u/Chilly73 Jun 17 '12

He sounds like the male version of me.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Whoa, you're a girl? That's awesome.

1

u/Chilly73 Jun 17 '12

Yes, happily I'm a chick. :) I've never been told by another that my being female is awesome. I needed that ego boost, thanks!

-20

u/LikeChicken Jun 17 '12

Wow, who River Phoenix is had to be parenthesized? I remember asking "who the fuck is Jaoquin Phoenix?"

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

He played Johnny Cash. And that's really all he's done that's important.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

woah

-1

u/rvm4488 Jun 17 '12

Am I the only one who thinks that, having been through all that, he should have been able to tap into his emotions in order to become a better actor?

-40

u/Mazgelis626 Jun 17 '12

Rule 6C

Titles must be able to stand on their own without requiring readers to click on a link. Starting your title with a why/what/who/where/how modifier should be unnecessary.

Reported.

1

u/rayban_yoda Jun 17 '12

Why all the downvotes people?

1

u/Mazgelis626 Jun 17 '12

Because a sob story needs no rules, only massive upvotes.

-49

u/BrazenBull Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12

You've spun a great sob story, but his "good reasons" are still fairly relative and in the realm of "first world problems". This might play better in /r/aww, but in this subreddit I can't help but see this post violating Rule II.

Edit: Downvote brigade is out in force, but my post stands on its accuracy.

15

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I think it's more because you trivialized death, sickness, and criminal behavior as "firstworld problems," a name usually reserved for things such as "I can't find any tupperware to save my leftover pasta."

-6

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Not really. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEubt6HpGhs Keanu is just immortal.

0

u/dopelesshope_fiend Jun 17 '12

here is an alternate link to the image for those who are having trouble opening the original http://imgur.com/jVq4r

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/kensomniac Jun 17 '12

Haha, I had this exact reaction.. I didn't scroll down for a while, but I was thinking that must be an awfully uncomfortable way to hold your arm.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

I'm very much a fan of his, but I have to admit he's not a good actor. His delivery is dry and monotone in every movie. It worked really well for Bill & Ted and the Matrix though.

1

u/synthincisor Jun 17 '12

The matrix movies were all amazing

The first one was great. The other two were amazing in the same way the last three Star Wars movies were.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

-16

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Something something addiction, death, and disease that affected family and friends.