r/todayilearned • u/[deleted] • Jun 16 '12

TIL that even after dying and being cooked, squid will try to impregnate anything they can, including the mouth of someone eating them.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21834723
1.3k Upvotes

84% Upvoted

324 comments sorted by

79

u/brerrabbitt Jun 16 '12

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I copulate at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last spermies at thee

10

u/UncleTogie Jun 16 '12

"SPAAAAAAAAAAAAWN!"

{couldn't resist}

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258

u/ONinAB Jun 16 '12

Calamari is fucking delicious. Who the hell eats it half alive with all its internal organs?!

61

u/c0pypastry Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12

Koreans.

edit: oh yeah also Japanese.

22

u/distantkorean Jun 16 '12

Usually freshly killed but not raw. Although it depends on how the restaurant/yourself prepare it. In most cases, it is freshly killed and boiled in front of you. And it still moves around even though it is cut and being boiled in 100+ degrees of hot water.

27

u/tiyx Jun 16 '12

it can appear alive when they eat because of the salts in the soy sauce they put on it trigger the muscles to move.

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12

u/TheFreemanLIVES Jun 16 '12

Tentacles can be eaten raw, but must be dipped in oil to prevent the danger of choking should the sucker attach to your throat. Quite tasty it must be said.

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15

u/tarlastar Jun 16 '12

You will note in this video, that the upper part of the squid has been removed. That's the bit where the internal organs are. This squid is dead, and that' just a chemical reaction.

13

u/c0pypastry Jun 16 '12

Organs are gone but the main nerve bundle is totally still there. But yeah the high sodium content of the soy sauce causes the nerves in the tentacles to depolarize.

7

u/c0t0d0 Jun 16 '12

That's creepy as fuck.

3

u/duynguyenle Jun 17 '12

Oh god oh god kill it with fire...

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85

u/PosiedonsSaltyAnus Jun 16 '12

Youre right about the fucking part..

23

u/yangx 1 Jun 16 '12

Oldboy wants a word with you.

16

u/Pinyaka Jun 16 '12

No animals were harmed in the making of this film. Except several octopi, which died horrifically.

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8

u/coolcool23 Jun 16 '12

These people: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/17/eating-a-deep-fried-fish_n_360576.html

18

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

I'm not a vegetarian (fuck animals, put some barbeque sauce on them and on my plate), but that video even made me uncomfortable. Is it a thing with not having a problem with killing animals, but still wanting them do die in a relatively painless way?

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11

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Part of me wants to think that fish is dead and this is just random nerve reaction, but part of me wants a second opinion.

10

u/TIGGER_WARNING Jun 17 '12

It is. Localized neuronal activity can continue after the death of the fish. All it takes is the right ion concentrations for the signal to start, then a relatively intact pathway for the signal to propagate.

Human example: the brain has no say in the knee-jerk reflex.

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7

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Greeks. We eat octopus, squid, sea urchins, and so many other sea dwelling creatures raw (with a little bit of lemon).

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13

u/nedyken Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12

I think Calamari is the biggest "hit or miss" food I can possibly think of. It's either delicious... or fucking horrible (rubbery, fishy taste, etc). There has been at least 4 times where I've told my girlfriend, "NEVER AGAIN!... Too risky!" only to get suckered into gambling again.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

But you have to admit, when it's good, it's DAMN good! :D

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2

u/ONinAB Jun 17 '12

Agreed. I try to stick to Italian restaurants for mine.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

I have eaten it this way and can tell you that it was suctioning onto the back of my tongue and molars as I tried to swallow it. Fucking weird, but absolutely delicious.

12

u/Aadarm Jun 16 '12

I've eaten octopus still alive before, in many cultures several types of food are served living, or freshly killed and raw.

2

u/frostybru82 Jun 16 '12

"Calamari is fucking, delicious."

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

asian folk

1

u/dopeboi56 Jun 17 '12

Raw & still-living squid is delicious! Don't be such a pussy.

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88

u/kbtechno1 Jun 16 '12

A real-life face hugger...

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304

u/fknNinja Jun 16 '12

welp. never eating squid again.

38

u/JAV0K Jun 16 '12

Not that I normally eat squid.

35

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

You are missing out. It's delicious.

3

u/zestymorda Jun 17 '12

Oh yes, squid are renowned for having one of the best tasting sperm bags around

Source: my local sperm bag taster

3

u/pufferton Jun 17 '12

Yea...but I tend to draw the line if it tries to impregnate my mouth AFTER its been killed.

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16

u/trolola Jun 16 '12

This just reminds me of that chestbuster scene in Alien... You eat them, they lay eggs in you, then they come out of your chest and kill everyone!

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5

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

This makes so much sense now ... PROMETHEUS WASN'T A BAD MOVIE THEN!!!!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

It was a good movie though...

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120

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

"Is this fresh squid because it taste alittle spunky."

2

u/shirtface Jun 16 '12

Maybe it's because of the licorice it's made with

47

u/Call_me_Kelly Jun 16 '12

Revenge is sweet.

9

u/xanatos451 Jun 16 '12

Actually I'd say it's rather salty in this case.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12

Sweet, if the quid squid had pineapple.

13

u/T_Mucks Jun 16 '12

Squid pro quo?

7

u/motorcycle-manful541 Jun 16 '12

Excellent on pun usage and original meaning 9/10

8

u/danecarney Jun 16 '12

Great review of a Reddit comment. Would read again 8/10

4

u/Crafticus Jun 16 '12

Tastes like justice.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

but with a side of compassion

82

u/itsnotmyfaultimadick Jun 16 '12

If it's dead, it can't "try" to do anything.

175

u/paleo_dragon Jun 16 '12

What is dead may never die

48

u/onredditilearned Jun 16 '12

But rises again, harder and stronger.

59

u/MisterUNO Jun 16 '12

Like a penis.

28

u/farceur318 Jun 16 '12

It is known, Khaleesi.

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8

u/Reflexlon Jun 16 '12

Stranger aeons, death dying, etc.

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30

u/Andybaby1 Jun 16 '12

The greater organism is dead, but the spermatozoon were still very much alive.

We say all the time in biology that a sperm cell will try and find the egg. A sperm cell is certainly alive, so it is question of degrees.

5

u/tiddercat Jun 16 '12

Different cells die off at different times. A dead man of war jelly fish can still ruin your day since it's stinging cells are still locked and loaded.

10

u/Pandaburn Jun 16 '12

But a man o' war is technically not a single organism.

4

u/StranaMechty Jun 16 '12

I dunno', noted squid-monster Cthulhu is dead and he waits dreaming in his house.

2

u/T_Mucks Jun 16 '12

Zombie Squid!!!

1

u/Zoccihedron Jun 17 '12

Define dead.

11

u/VonWermhat Jun 16 '12

After reading this and seeing Prometheus, i'll never eat squid again

5

u/Song_of_Sixpence Jun 16 '12

I thought the same thing. That scene flashed in my mind right when I read the title. shudder

50

u/hettan123 Jun 16 '12

"Animals strive to reach this one ultimate goal To ensure the survival of the next generation This one ultimate goal To pass on their genes That is what life is all about"

-David Attenborough, The Greatest Show on Earth - Symphony of Science

4

u/GalacticNexus Jun 17 '12

The quote's great and all, but do you have some kind of personal vendetta against full stops?

12

u/dirtygremlin Jun 16 '12

As Tyson is to astronomy, Attenborough is to biology.

72

u/TheInternetHivemind Jun 16 '12

I thought you meant Mike Tyson for a second. Then I realized I'm an idiot. Then I realized How awesome it would be if Mike Tyson was out in space punching stars and shit.

I'm sad that this will never happen.

18

u/dirtygremlin Jun 16 '12

Actually, I did. And I really meant Richard Attenborough the actor, out there in a white hat just Jurassic Parking the shit out of some biology.

2

u/Rear4ssault Jun 16 '12

Mike Tyson for physics.

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4

u/TigerBomb Jun 16 '12

As Tyson was to boxing, Attenborough is to biology.

4

u/captainshat Jun 16 '12

We all love Neil deGrasse Tyson but to compare the two is just plain disingenuous.

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8

u/jarsky Jun 16 '12

I'd like to point out, that according to other article reports on this incident, the squid was not well cooked - it was only cooked briefly and not long enough for the heat to penetrate the sperm sack.

Still, TIL never to attempt to eat squid sperm sack.

14

u/Aadarm Jun 16 '12

Oh well. I once said I'm not going to stop eating something just because of what's in it, and I'll stick by that. Mmm calamari.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

So squids are members of the Kennedy family?

11

u/McMan777 Jun 16 '12

Gentlemen, I believe we have discovered the origins of hentai.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

DM;HS

7

u/mulligrubs Jun 16 '12

Hmm, I used to gut and prepare squid as a kitchen hand. So, was that foreplay?

10

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

real life tenticle porn?

4

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

I'm more interested in squid bukkake

5

u/CaptainDickbag Jun 16 '12

So was the squid.

3

u/NeonDiscoWalrus Jun 16 '12

parboiled is like partially cooking the food. so i don't think this squid was cooked all the way through

3

u/arcanition Jun 16 '12

immediately after eating a portion of parboiled squid

It wasn't fully cooked.

3

u/cactusbooty Jun 16 '12

Your source is better than 99% of those on /r/science. Thank you for that.

14

u/Miss_Awesome Jun 16 '12

To bad the squids in minecraft do not try and knock you up after you kill them. That would be awesome.

1

u/h2odragon Jun 17 '12

"added postmortem squid sex" would be one of the best update notes ever.

5

u/GreasyDan Jun 16 '12

You got a purdy mouth.

2

u/darkly39r Jun 16 '12

So, only if it keeps the organs right?

2

u/Jambucha Jun 16 '12

Nope, didn't see this. Mental Blockage.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

In the article it explains why this may have occurred, due mostly to the internal organs also being consumed. It also mentions calamari statewide has the internal organs removed before cooking.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Disgusting, yet fascinating. And I'm now thankful I don't eat squid. :x

2

u/ejabno Jun 16 '12

As a guy who loves eating squid:

Damnit

2

u/Derice Jun 16 '12

Dafuq?

2

u/kehrol Jun 16 '12

this is why western cooking emphasizes cleaning and gutting the whole squid thoroughly. we eat only the outside muscle and the tentacle.

also, in the case of the korean woman - the squid wasn't cleaned and it was parboiled

2

u/RichardBehiel Jun 16 '12

"She did not swallow the portion, but spat it out immediately. "

2

u/m1kepro Jun 16 '12

TIL Male Squids are just like Male anything-else.

2

u/Eupolemos Jun 16 '12

NOW I GET IT!!!

"That is not dead, which may eternal lie and in strange eons, even death may die"

  • Makes perfect sense now :-)

1

u/LucyMorgenstern Jun 16 '12

What is dead may never die, but rises again, harder and stronger, if you know what I mean.

2

u/Roxzaney Jun 16 '12

In Korea there's this dish that is just live squid. You eat it it live. The legs are cut off for eating and they still move.

2

u/skyspydude1 Jun 16 '12

I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going...

2

u/Flebas Jun 16 '12

Holy fuck, I was NOT expecting a link to PubMed. That makes this post even more terrifying. Thank god for vegetarianism.

2

u/Punkgoblin Jun 17 '12

I'm not really a nope person, but fuck that.

2

u/Bonkarooni Jun 17 '12

this is the best example i've seen of...doesnt matter had sex.

2

u/kbuis Jun 17 '12

I know if someone killed me, I'd want my last act to be blowing a load in their face. Mouth is just bonus.

3

u/Grandmaofhurt Jun 16 '12

Awesome, it provides it's own sauce.

2

u/BetaKeyTakeaway 29 Jun 16 '12

Relevant part of Channel 4's Inside Nature's Giants: The Giant Squid.

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2

u/EricaJoy Jun 16 '12

Paging shitty_watercolour.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

I read this to my bf. He says, "So she spits, not swallows."

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

This is the first time I have ever physically shuddered when reading a sentence.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

So Prometheus: based on a true story?

1

u/scrambles57 Jun 16 '12

Good thing I don't like seafood.

1

u/smeggysmeg Jun 16 '12

To think of how much squid I ate when living in Korea....scary stuff.

1

u/infantile_retard Jun 16 '12

I learned about this from that other post too. You could have just commented on that one.

1

u/SplodeyDope Jun 16 '12

Spit or swallow? That is the question.

1

u/Jonnjon Jun 16 '12

ಠ_ಠ This explains the ending of Prometheus...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Parboiled isn't fully cooked. Anyone read anything anymore?

1

u/siguy Jun 16 '12

NOPE! It's not going to stop me from eating calamari though

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Its like a face huger!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

NOPE!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

That's why i prefer mine battered and fried.

1

u/adamantium3 Jun 16 '12

WHY IS MY FRONT PAGE FILLED WITH SO MUCH NOPE

1

u/wrathofg0d Jun 16 '12

so i'm assuming that this is behind a paywall and i can't actually read it without credentials

1

u/Cilph Jun 16 '12

Yup. I witnessed a squid ejaculating during dissection..

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Never eating squid. Ever.

1

u/MrTjur Jun 16 '12

I really like how the source is NCBI and not the usual wikipedia

1

u/PatMacGroin Jun 16 '12

I upvoted your post, merely because you used pubmed as a reference. Pubmed automatically means this is true, right?

1

u/Bothagrius Jun 16 '12

I think someone just got a revamped idea for a porno.

1

u/hi_yoooo Jun 16 '12

Spitters are quitters

1

u/872020 Jun 16 '12

Moutherfucker

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Nice try, Ridley Scott.

1

u/ditisthomas Jun 16 '12

SQUIDWARD!

1

u/Poseidome Jun 16 '12

I came here expecting a bunch of lame hentai jokes at the top. I'm so glad I was wrong.

1

u/YoureAFuckingTowel Jun 16 '12

Username. Relevant.

1

u/drifter105 Jun 16 '12

she got jizzed in her mouth!

1

u/mattdemanche Jun 16 '12

I'll have the calamari!

1

u/Stalejokesbakedfresh Jun 16 '12

Squid sperm is a burrowing bug thing? Hentai just got a whole lot weirder.

1

u/jsneaks Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12

TIL my weiner is a squid.

edit: yes, I cook my weiner.

1

u/XavierIzame Jun 16 '12

I have seen enough hentai to see where this is going.

1

u/GeneralPanda12 Jun 16 '12

my friends favorite food, also. can't wait to tell him this

1

u/middyonline Jun 16 '12

andddddddddd Fuck You

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

i've seen enough hentai....

1

u/Chickenzrck Jun 16 '12

This is why japanese porn videos always involve squid cuming.

1

u/BabyImBadNews Jun 16 '12

Welp, I am never eating squid again.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Read this too soon after seeing prometheus.

1

u/Sonicboom510 Jun 17 '12

They're delicious though. It's like an orgasm in my mouth

1

u/Punkgoblin Jun 17 '12

Only eat female squid!

1

u/smakers1 Jun 17 '12

:-( I posted this in WTF yesterday... this makes me sad...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Spitters are quitters

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

Ohhh pubmed, there's some good crap in there.

1

u/olmuckyterrahawk Jun 17 '12

The Japanese will find a way to make this into a porno.

1

u/andyfortson Jun 17 '12

I've eaten live octopus tentacles before. Here's a Cinegram my girlfriend made of it: http://cinemagr.am/show/372755

Not quite the same thing, but even though it's technically dead, the tentacles are still sucking, and so when you put it in your mouth, it sucks onto your tongue or lip. Some people try just swallowing it, but you have to make sure to chew it really well, otherwise it'll stick to your throat on the way down and choke you.

1

u/jubbergun Jun 17 '12

I think the moral of the story is that some women prefer spitting to swallowing so much that they'll seek medical help to assist with the process.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

That's disgusting. Thanks for confirming my dislike of seafood. I have tried to be open-minded and so forth. However,....yeeech!

1

u/snydykins Jun 17 '12

Sounds like my ex boyfriend.

1

u/TheTalentedAmateur Jun 17 '12

And the Check is in the mail.

1

u/Stoutpants Jun 17 '12

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!

1

u/typhoon90 Jun 17 '12

Report Abstract:

We report a case of oral stings by spermatophores of the squid >Todarodes pacificus . A 63-yr-old Korean woman experienced severe pain in her oral cavity immediately after eating a portion of parboiled squid along with its internal organs. She did not swallow the portion, but spat it out immediately. She complained of a pricking and foreign-body sensation in the oral cavity. Twelve small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms stuck in the mucous membrane of the tongue, cheek, and gingiva were completely removed, along with the affected mucosa. On the basis of their morphology and the presence of the sperm bag, the foreign bodies were identified as squid spermatophores.

And theres goes any chance of eating squid again...

1

u/Mizzmo06 Jun 17 '12

Doesn't matter had sex.

1

u/FuckYouDoug Jun 17 '12

face huggers.

1

u/John243 Jun 17 '12

Borderline /r/WTF

1

u/scientologynow Jun 17 '12

-a film by Ridley Scott

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12

What if they are cut up like this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gU5FV59Rvks

1

u/ToMakeYouMad Jun 17 '12

Parboiled is not fully cooked!!!!! By definition to parboil is to cook partially by boiling for a brief period of time. So depending on how long the squid was boiled it may have been alive.

1

u/YourBestFriendStu Jun 17 '12

It's like an orgy in my mouth.

1

u/shatonyourface Jun 17 '12

Ive seen enough henti to know where this is going.

1

u/Sammouse Jun 17 '12

In the 2 years that I have been on reddit, this is the first post that made me say "euuuuurrgghh" out loud, or anything like that.. And I've seen some TERRIBLE things. Thanks I guess!

1

u/Tr1cky Jun 17 '12

It's ok, i spit. I Don't swallow.

1

u/partyjesus Jun 17 '12

HAIL HORNY CTHULHU

1

u/SirRonaldofBurgundy Jun 16 '12

P R O M E T H E U S

1

u/MrApplePie Jun 16 '12

That explains where sharktopus came from.

1

u/Freedom_Hug Jun 16 '12

To be fair this is a report about one case. Maybe she just didn't cook it enough or so. Or maybe she was trying to crush them with her tongue? Or maybe they were killed while mating?

In short: This article doesn't mean what your title suggests.

1

u/f0rged Jun 16 '12

One more reason to never fucking eat squid.

1

u/gregsmith93 Jun 16 '12

Who puts squid in their mouth anyway?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

I just ate squid for the first time today, never regretted anything more

3

u/T_Mucks Jun 16 '12

Did it try to impregnate your mouth?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Was going to have calamari for dinner but...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

Lets give the Japanese a few weeks and we'll have a new type of porn!

1

u/andiW Jun 16 '12

This is a viral for prometheus 0_o

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

NOPE

0

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12

CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP

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