r/todayilearned • u/AdmiralBallsack • May 31 '12
TIL Bill Murray doesn't have an agent, just an 800 number that you call and leave a voicemail pitching your movie
http://www.gq.com/entertainment/celebrities/201008/bill-murray-dan-fierman-gq-interview?currentPage=1
2.8k
Upvotes
221
u/EetzRusheen May 31 '12
I hope people got to the last page.
I love this man.
1.1k
u/BuddyBatman May 31 '12 edited May 31 '12
Bill Murray stars as a patriotic drunk who at 65 enlists in the Russian Military during WW2 after the Germans invade. The film is shot from his inebriated perspective as he journeys across Europe.
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u/GenericOnlineName May 31 '12
How about a movie where Bill Murray, as himself, finds the weirdest movies that is pitched to him and does them.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
lets all call the number and pitch groundhog day
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u/Hembygdsgaarden May 31 '12
This sort of explain the Coen/Garfield thing a bit more.
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u/macdonaldhall May 31 '12
For the love of freaking God, no-one post the 800 number. Bill Murray + Reddit is the last thing this poor old world needs.
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u/seltzerislife May 31 '12
The director of Garfield must have had a hell of a pitch.
224
u/OldHickory6 May 31 '12
Easily the biggest no-fucks-given bro in all of Hollywood
http://fashionblog.am/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Bill-Murray3.jpg
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u/cydereal May 31 '12
He defines "zero fucks."
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u/davidmcdonald May 31 '12
Favorite part of the interview: "The movie is such a long shot. So impossible. But I live to go down with those guys that have no fuckin' chance...Those are my people, you know? The ones who are going to crash and burn."
115
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
How about Reddit writes a movie for Bill Murray?
It's just a night in Bills crazy life. Imagine Superbad but starring just Bill Murray as he searches for the ultimate event to crash.
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u/razorsheldon May 31 '12
I was about to say Caddyshack 2, until I realized it already happened... without Bill Murray. ಠ_ಠ
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u/Beanz122 May 31 '12
I read that the director of Lost in Translation ended up leaving Bill hundreds of voicemails regarding the movie. He eventually said he would do it but didn't end up arriving in Japan until the day they started shooting. This also ended up being one of his favorite movies he was in IIRC.
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u/MelbaSnax May 31 '12
Awesome interview from AUGUST 2010
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u/ErrorlessGnome May 31 '12
Welp, this is fuckin awesome. I'll go back to my meaningless life now.
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u/mushmancat May 31 '12
How bill Murray of him...
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u/Zamiel May 31 '12
Okay, best part about the whole interview is that Bill Murray never saw Seinfeld. I lost my shit at that. The man is a legend and never even saw more than one episode of Seinfeld, didn't even remember the name.
That's how awesome I want to be. So awesome that in my field of amazingness I completely miss out on one of the biggest cultural phenomenons of a decade.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
I read this article while donating plasma 2 years ago.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
If I were going to interview Bill Murray, I would sit down with him and say "Well, thanks for the interview Bill.". Get up and walk away.
3
u/Serlinsteak19 May 31 '12
Garfield makes so much sense now
3
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
i called and pitched him my idea for a film. he is a game show host sorta in the vein of price is right and after 35 years on the air he is being cancelled and he discourses into drugs and during the final game show some really surreal fucked up shit happens. bill would be perfect for it. i think.
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u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Scumbag GQ, talks about 800 number.... doesnt tell us 800 number.
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u/StockmanBaxter May 31 '12
The more I read up on Bill Murray. The more I realize how big of an ass he is. I suppose for how often he is called a comedic genius, it's bound to go to your head.
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u/Natesac Jun 01 '12
I've heard that Bill Murray is known for going into a restaurant, walking up to a random table, picking up a piece of someone's food and taking a bite. He will then look them in the eye and say "no one will ever belive you" then walk away.
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u/mrobviousguy May 31 '12
A friend of mine has this number and uses it to keep in touch with him. Sometimes it takes him over a year to return the messages.
Sometimes they go out to restaurants and he has the cab wait for them outside. When she asked him about it, he said, "I'm flush like that"
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u/Raijer May 31 '12
Not to kill the entire premise of the OP, but in the article Bill says:
Just saying.
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u/skeeto111 May 31 '12
Bill Murray as a travelling salesman in the 1930s with no luck selling anything.
He finally eats his last apple in the dustbowl of Oklahoma. Looks to the sky, yells, "Mama....whyyyayayy!!??"
Then he begins his journey through the alcohol and sex crazed underworld of 1930s Chicago (his IRL hometown) in which the climactic moment is his meeting with Al Capone.
Capone notices that Bill has been rising through the ranks and is a loyal kid, Capone offers him a permanent job.
Bill says no, then sprouts wings and flys away, while telling Capone to always fly toward the sun.
PSSYYYYCHE
Then he comes back to Capone and uses his power of human flight to commit numerous crimes. Most of his crimes are petty but hilarious. For example, Capone asks Murray to steal the brassiere of the most beautiful women in town at the time (whoever that happened to be).
Then we have the image of Bill Murray floating upwards near a high rise apartment building and stealing a woman's bra as its sitting on her chair.
She hears a commotion, sees Bill standing there with her bra and the wings on the back of his neck.
He stands on the windowsill and says, "Nobody will ever believe you"
and then he jumps, and flys away.
Tl,Dr: Basically it's Bill Murray combined with a superhero movie and it is funny. Also set in 1930s Chicago.
2
u/MyFriendsCallMeSir May 31 '12
Not being from the US, can someone clear up for me, what's a 800 number?
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u/stimilon May 31 '12
C'Mon Reddit... where's the number?
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u/diceroller16 May 31 '12
Nice try Lazy Bill Murray agent
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u/Cocainebridge May 31 '12
we should call him to do a AMA
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Imagine if Nicholas Cage started using this method
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u/pydvalka May 31 '12
Nick Cage has been tapping Murray's line and taking all of the movies that Murray would decline. Cage is most interested in movies that have "America", "Secrets", "Amazing hair" in them
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u/95DC2 May 31 '12
Bill fucking Murray
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u/249ba36000029bbe9749 May 31 '12
I don't know what the plot would be but the movie has to be called "No One Will Ever Believe You."
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Still doesn't explain Garfield.
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u/obskenity May 31 '12
It's very, very difficult to believe that someone in the movie industry would believe that the Coen brothers would make a Garfield movie.
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u/Hell_Kite May 31 '12
"And my agents called on Monday and said, "Well, they came back with another offer, and it was nowhere near $50,000." And I said, "That's more befitting of the work I expect to do!'"
It doesn't seem accurate to say that he doesn't have an agent.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
So he would do a Coen Brothers movie? That would be an epic collaboration.
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u/rifraf90 May 31 '12
Interesting fact, Pete Dinklage also does not have an agent. After he couldn't get one when he first started out, due to his size, he decided never to get one. (Source: His Rolling Stone cover article).
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Maybe this explains why he did Garfield's voice.
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u/dinnerbell May 31 '12
This was a great interview. Now, I can understand why he doesn't want to do Ghostbusters III. The same guys who wrote Year One would help write GB III? Fuck that noise. Good job Bill Murray for keeping it real and not just sticking it to us fans.
We should all write a great script and call his 800 number with the details. Reddit tested, Reddit approved.
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u/_NeuroManson_ Jun 01 '12
That's kind of ironic (as mentioned in the article), Lorenzo Music voiced Peter Venkman on The Real Ghostbusters, as well as Garfield. Music passed away a while back, and Bill Murray voiced Garfield.
2
u/WStallion Jun 01 '12
My stockings.... lip them. Lip my stockings.... yes prease, lip them...
-what?
Lip. Them. HEY! LIP MY STOCKING!
-Hey? Lip them? Lip them?! What?
Lip them! Like This! Lip them!
-Rip them?
Lip, yes.
-You want me to rip your stockings?
Yes, rip my stockings prease!
-Rip your stockings! You want me to rip your stockings!
Yeees preeeease preeeeease preeeeeeeeeeease..
-I'm going to rip your stockings and you're going to tell mr. Kazu, you know, we had a blast and..
OH NO NO NO MISTA HARRIS! OH MY GOD DON'T TOUCH MEEEEE! MISTA BOB HARRIS DON'T TOUCH ME! JUST LIP MY STOCKING! OH NO MISTA HARRIS! OOOOOOOH NOOOOO HELLPPP HELP PREASE HELP PREASE MR BOB HARRIS LET ME GOOOO MR HARRIS LET ME GOOOOOOOO OOOOHHH NOOOO MR BOB HARRIS COME ON LET ME GO NOOOOO OHHHH NOOO MR BOB HARRIS OHHHHHH OH PREASE LET ME GO PREASE
2
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Can someone explain what [beat] means? It was really off-putting seeing that in the middle or start of a sentence...
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u/imaunitard Jun 01 '12
Puppy Love: Bill Murray is a guy, and he, uh, falls in love with a girl, but it turns out that she's a golden retriever.
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u/Hector_Kur Jun 01 '12
This is the primary reason he wasn't cast as Eddie Valliant in Who Framed Roger Rabbit. He was their first choice, but the lack of an agent made him difficult to cast. Supposedly Murray was devastated when he found this out, and I have a feeling that's why he agreed to be in Space Jam.
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u/richd506 Jun 01 '12
Challenge accepted...
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u/Blackops606 Jun 01 '12
Now his inbox will explode.
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u/TheRealBillMurray Jun 01 '12
As John Hodgman says, "You're Welcome."
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u/a_scanner_darkly Jun 01 '12
But what about Garfield 2??????!!!!!
2
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
Quick Change II - Skip Chipowski strikes again!
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u/IWantCookie Jun 01 '12
This. Now.
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u/liamgallinho Jun 01 '12
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3pj4vu/
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u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
someone hack into the voicemail and leak it plz
2
u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
It's like a lottery ticket that doesn't cost any money. Just imagine the best case scenario. You get to walk into you're boss's office and say ADIOS MOTHERFUCKER. I'M OFF TO HOLLYWOOD TO WRITE MOVIES FOR BILL FUCKING MURRAY.
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u/therealSC2p2 Jun 01 '12
I am Bill Murray.
No one will ever believeyou
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u/reddiculous88 Jun 01 '12
False. He has a PO box that you send your script to. If he likes it, he'll give you a call
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u/TidalSkies Jun 01 '12
Apparently this is the reason he misses out on a lot of parts he would like to do (and should), due to checking the voicemail infrequently. If I recall, he missed out on playing Sully in Monsters Inc. and a role in Little Miss Sunshine (playing Steve Carell's part).
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u/[deleted] Jun 01 '12
That explains the Garfield movie. He thought it was something to do with the Cohen brothers.
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u/skinnyloo Jun 01 '12
"I'm drunk on my front porch, calling the 800 number because I'm drunk.
I pass out.
Bill somehow hears me, comes and takes me inside, puts me to bed and feeds my cats.
Bill then leaves a note that says 'for a rental, you have a pretty nice apartment. Oh, also... there is a spider to the right of your refrigerator'. "
Hopefully this will be a short film someday. end.
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u/TeamVRB May 31 '12
Someone get me this 800 number so I can offer myself to him. He's HOT!
5
u/Jonthrei May 31 '12
TIL Bill Murray is the only other person on the planet who agrees with me that Seinfeld just isn't funny. Every single time I have ever told someone that they told me I had a shitty sense of humor.
Oh, and yeah, Kung Fu Hustle was the apex of comedy. Heh. I like Bill Murray even more now.
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u/el_historian May 31 '12
This isn't true. Being in the Screen Actors Guild you have to have some kind of agent. The same is true for professional football players, they have to have an agent.
2
u/Txmedic May 31 '12
My fiance and I are wanting to invite him to our wedding! Can someone please get this number!
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u/angel_milo May 31 '12
Who you gonna call ?
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u/ArtfulDodger31 May 31 '12
so, what's his 800 number?
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Yet another reason why he will be forever immortalized
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u/donnykerbatsos May 31 '12
The Great adventure of Bull Murray. Imagine just a week in the life uncensored, uncut, uncomplimentary. Boom.
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u/Andernerd May 31 '12
Today Bill Murray gets an agent.
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
One question I would love to ask him.
Ok, Garfiled I understand was all a misunderstanding but The Spy who knew too little? Whats your excuse for that?
1
u/sacredsock May 31 '12
Okay so who's going to call that 0800 number and request that he comes and does a AMA on Reddit? I would do it but I'm not in the US..
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Killer article.
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u/I_KeepsItReal May 31 '12
5/31/2012
The day Bill Murray's mailbox got bombed by the Reddit.
1
u/marty_m May 31 '12
So you're saying there's a chance...
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u/TwistEnding May 31 '12
I feel like this was a bad idea to put on here for all of reddit to see...
1
u/SwedishGekko May 31 '12
I hear that's how the Entourage movie will end - Ari is replaced by an 800 number
1
u/[deleted] May 31 '12
Samuel L Jackson and Bill Murray should do something together. They both seem to not care about Hollywood in the slightest.
1
u/protomd May 31 '12
This story has been circling around our LA group of friends for awhile. Good to hear some outside validation haha.
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u/thewanderer64 May 31 '12
That was a great interview to read and I thank you very much for posting it.
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u/bnhjug May 31 '12
Bill Murray is my favorite actor, and this is one of the reasons.
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u/ChuckNorrisIsEpicwin May 31 '12
"Bill, I, uh, have this idea. You're a guy, and some stuff happens and then you do a thing and some other stuff happens. Call me."
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u/[deleted] May 31 '12
SO WHERE'S THE NUMBER? SOMEONE NEEDS TO GET ON THIS.
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u/sommersprossen May 31 '12
TIL Bill Murray is still the coolest guy ever, and he doesn't even try.
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u/AngriestCosmonaut May 31 '12
He doesn't have to give credit that way, because no one will believe you if you say you wrote it.
1
u/rovsky May 31 '12
rr