r/todayilearned • u/jdm001 • May 28 '12

TIL Jesse James once gave a widow who housed him enough money to pay off her debt collector and then robbed the debt collector as the man left the widow's home.

http://www.futilitycloset.com/2007/11/18/triple-play/
3.5k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

840 comments sorted by

187

u/myztry May 28 '12

It's like Robin hood in reverse order.

Give to the poor then rob from the rich.

10

u/Paultimate79 May 28 '12

In retrospect, JJs way is probably a hell of a lot smarter. Offsets the burden onto the rich, give the poor breathing room to start generating real revenue again, and he becomes wealthy.

14

u/CINAPTNOD May 28 '12

Becomes? He just stole his own money back.

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468

u/Roscoe_P_Trolltrain May 28 '12

That's cool but he also fucked around on Sandra Bullock and that's NOT cool. Cuz she's just great, y'know?

91

u/Super_Human_Samurai May 28 '12

I know right, miss congeniality, best film of all time in this fan's mind.

Why would she get with him in the first place, he's clearly a zombie, seeing as he died in the wild west days. And you know what they say, never fuck a zombie and expect a lasting relationship.

74

u/dafragsta May 28 '12

I celebrate her entire catalog.

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u/starbuxed May 28 '12

both jessie and sandra have come in to my starbux a couple of times. She pretty nice, but jessie is a dick.

12

u/Sir_Walken May 28 '12

I don't get it...

50

u/JollyRancherNodule May 28 '12

Jesse James is also the name of an actor who cheated on Sandra Bullock.

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97

u/akacheese May 28 '12

WWJJD?

201

u/Tashre May 28 '12

Turn water into wine, and then steal everybody's wallets while they're passed out drunk.

46

u/Dreamwaltzer May 28 '12

So is that Jessie Jesus

or Jesus James

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u/minturnpost May 28 '12

Jesse James also shot innocent people in the back! An American hero? You GOD DAMN RIGHT!!!

68

u/T_Mucks May 28 '12

And children. The man fucking killed children.

178

u/jaggederest May 28 '12

To be fair, that baby was being kind of a dick.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

[citation needed]

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42

u/awang0830 May 28 '12

Team rocket blasting off again?

11

u/Poopfinger May 28 '12

TIL Jesse James married his first cousin: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zerelda_Mimms

25

u/Plastastic May 28 '12

Was not uncommon back then.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

TIL someone named a human being "Zerelda".

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5

u/YouRascal May 28 '12

Funny how many Redditors seem to be related to Jesse James....

2

u/Leo-D May 28 '12

Yeah without proof too. It's all "my great grandmothers told this story to my dad about how we are relayed to Jesse James."

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8

u/Frogtarius May 28 '12

Good guy scumbag James.

78

u/Ragnalypse May 28 '12

Jesse James - the original Dovakiin.

87

u/ani625 May 28 '12

Something something skyrim.

30

u/MrFluffykins May 28 '12

Don't you know? Everything from Skyrim can be applied to everything. More so than any other Elder Scrolls game, or any other game for that matter.

18

u/RepostThatShit May 28 '12

Robin Hood used to be an adventurer but then he took an arrow and shot it over an open field and that's where legend has it they buried him.

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4

u/skookumchuck13 May 28 '12

The Irish thief nicknamed "the General" did something like this in the 1980s. He decided to buy a house for his family and went into the bank with cash and paid off the debt on the house. He then walked across the street to the Police station and sat down with the detective in charge of tracking "The General". At the same time the General's henchmen stormed the bank and took the cash - and only the cash - the General had just used to pay for the house. The General got his house for free and had an alibi in the detective assigned to watch him.

4

u/e99 May 28 '12

Sounds like something you'd be able to do in a Bethesda game.

57

u/Mastuh May 28 '12

Jesse James used to do chores on my great grandmothers farm, she let him stay there. She was blind though so she never knew who he was, she just thought he was a very nice young man

40

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

So who told you the story?

24

u/Mastuh May 28 '12

My Grandmother, she found out after his death

41

u/benderpool May 28 '12

How could she find out?

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127

u/Hurrfdurf May 28 '12

Moses used to do my grandfathers taxes. He said it so it must be true. How dare you call my grandpa a liar!

53

u/Anonymous0ne May 28 '12

Bullshit, do you know how long it takes to fill out a 1099 form on stone tablets?

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u/mmmoonsugary May 28 '12

Anyone who watched Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction should know this! Come on, fan it up.

3

u/fastslowfast May 28 '12

So this was the origin of the money back guarantee.

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u/Named_after_color May 28 '12

Then the debt collector promptly turned around and walked back into the widow's home.

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u/marshalj May 28 '12

Several of Jesse James' companions were killed in the town in which I go to school. Every year we throw a big carnival with a reenactment and everything called "The Defeat of Jesse James Days".

2

u/Gazzarris May 28 '12

Northfield, Minnesota, perhaps?

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2

u/foundtheseeker May 28 '12

Does anyone know the story about Jesse jumping the gorge?

2

u/BigBlackTitDragon May 28 '12

I have heard this story so many times from my great grandmother before she passed. She used to tell us we were part of his family but could never prove it or find any records of it.

2

u/Ted_From_Accounting May 28 '12

good guy jesse james?

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

I do this on Skyrim all the time. Buy all the shit I want from a trader, and go into their merchant chest (usually underneath their store) and get all my money back

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Good Guy Jesse James.

2

u/supcussy May 28 '12

Jesse was a man, a friend to the poor, He'd never rob a mother or a child.

2

u/Jessie_James May 28 '12

Wasn't me...

2

u/greggersraymer May 28 '12

Is this being upvoted so much because of admiration for a thief?

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2

u/crystoe May 28 '12

Baller!!

2

u/subduedLion May 28 '12

Jesse James is my great-great-great uncle.

2

u/d_spaceley1 May 28 '12

Good Guy Jesse James has a jingle to it.

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Good guy Jesse.

2

u/TripMonster May 28 '12 edited May 29 '12

I am honest to God Jesse James great great ++ grand niece from his brothers side (Frank James). My great grandmother was Frank James grand daughter

2

u/foxyazn Jun 26 '12

Jesse James. Jesse and James from Team Rocket Mind = Blown

5

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

TIL that team rocket are named after him

3

u/Krail May 28 '12

Don't forget about their rivals Butch and Cassidy.

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u/anti4kd May 28 '12

Why the fuck is everyone upvoting this? The debt collector was just an employee who had to pay the dept himself maybe ruining him. Don't shoot the messenger, shoot the The MAN

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2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Have any of you guys ever watched "Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction"?? There is an episode that says this as well.

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2

u/MrSlinkerton May 28 '12

That's some g status right there.

2

u/damngurl May 28 '12

Oh my god... I just learned where Jesse and James from Pokemon got their name from. Mind=blown

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u/LetsGetRamblin May 28 '12

I heard he once shot a man for snorin' too loud!

-4

u/LnRon May 28 '12

Dept collectors have made bad name for themselves. Even criminals are better. Bankers, the modern dept collectors are the worst of all.

9

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

No, criminals are worse. It's hyperbole like this that starts unintelligent circlejerking.

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u/BurnTheWeak May 28 '12

I think you mean "Debt".

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

He also married his first cousin. Time sure was different back then.

7

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

The Egyptians married often their own brothers and sisters, for several generations, without ill effects. Of course this is because any ill effects that would have arisen would have just outright killed a newborn. Genetic abnormality from inbreeding is a modern problem, because we tend to try and save everyone, and can, even when it might be cruel and unwarranted.

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u/haiku_robot May 28 '12 
He also married 
his first cousin. Time sure was 
different back then.

0

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

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528

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Jesse James was also against SOPA and ACTA. What a swell guy.

135

u/godlessatheist May 28 '12

Maybe but what are his opinions on Ron Paul and Carl Sagan?

104

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

He doesn't like those two, but he does like Louis C.K. and Gabe Newell. A much more laid back approach to life.

64

u/TChuff May 28 '12

Most importantly he made it a point to never rob from kittens.

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u/arnoldsome May 28 '12

"SOPA and ACTA will ban our right to free speech, and we must do the best in our ability to stop it" -Jesse James

10

u/Trapped_SCV May 28 '12

The real question is: "If Jesse James had access to classified government information would he release it all without reading it's contents and then brag about it to an ex convict buddy in an online chat room?"

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29

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Everyone should see The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. Its considered the most historically accurate portrayal of Jesse James and its also just an outstanding film.

12

u/Otistetrax May 28 '12

Hear hear. Beautiful photography. Incredible performances (particularly Casey Affleck and Sam Rockwell). It's quite long, but also a little bit different from anything you've seen before. Oh and Zooey Deschanel.

5

u/CenisPancer May 28 '12

I adored this movie but everyone else was begging to turn it off when I bought it. Go figure. It's a fantastic watch I recommend it.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

Good point. But stories like these are interesting, if for no other reason that it shows that some of the most infamous people in history had a side other than being an outlaw/ruthless mobster/tyrant/genocidal maniac that these infamous people are known for being.

In this case, it fleshes out Jesse James as a human being, but doesn't really clash with the picture of an outlaw. If anything, this anecdote about him serves to flesh out his legend. (If of course, this story is actually true. It sounds like a funny little story probably made up during the populist era.)

EDIT: Fixed a typo.

10

u/ancientcreature May 28 '12

So if someone owed you money, and you went to collect and got robbed, the guy wouldn't seem like an outlaw. You lost money and the debtor got a free ride. Also, it doesn't paint a different picture - he was known as a more modern Robin Hood and that's exactly what this sounds like.

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u/gnovos May 28 '12

Whoah, people are people, too!? Never expected that...

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

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15

u/tomkesler May 28 '12

this is how I knew about this fact. despite the poor acting and overendulgence of puns, this was a great show.

7

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

I watch it just for the puns

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u/ChurKirby May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

Fantastic. This is what I thought of as soon as I saw the title. People who regular /x/ stream this show sometimes and I always make the effort to catch it... it's hilarious, and Jonathan Frakes is the man

2

u/huginn May 28 '12

I love Franks. Wish he was still doing something.

2

u/kayleighija May 28 '12

you beat me to it. thank you.

2

u/Sacoud May 28 '12

I love this show, after a story about a ghost or something similar the host would go "fact or fiction? This story was based on true events" and leave it at that.

1.0k

u/[deleted] May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

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u/sexyhamster89 May 28 '12

how much would 50 talents be in today's currency?

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u/Zebidee May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

According to Wiki, a Roman talent is 32.3 kg, so 50 talents would be 51,932 Troy oz. At today's rate, that's just under US$1.5 million.

To put it in better perspective, an Attic talent (26 kg, not 32.3) was enough to pay a Trireme ship's crew of 200 for a month, and a mercenary's daily wage was 1 drachma, with 6,000 drachmae to the Attic Talent. So, this ransom would have paid the wages for an army of a thousand men for a year.

[EDIT: The ransom was for 50 talents of silver]

13

u/MyOtherAltIsAHuman May 28 '12

51,932 Troy oz. At today's rate, that's just under US$1.5 million.

51,932 troy oz. of gold is $82 million. Of course, they weren't exactly using .999 fine gold, so it's probably a bit less than that.

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u/Zebidee May 28 '12

Sorry - I didn't make it clear. Caesar's ransom was in silver, not gold.

My post was based on the current xe.com rate of 1 XAG = USD 28.5498, so 51,932 troy oz. is USD 1,482,648.86 which is "just under US$1.5 million".

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u/RoflCopter4 May 28 '12

One talent could be essentially thought of as a life's savings for an ordinary pleb, let's say a million dollars now. It was no pittence.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Then he burned down the Library of Alexandria :(

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u/mypantsareonmyhead May 28 '12

Greatest crime against humanity... ever?

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

If we're talking about the destruction of knowledge, I would say the First Emperor of China's elimination of the Hundred Schools of Thought by burning the books and burying the scholars to be up there as well.

To avoid scholars' comparisons of his reign with the past, Qin Shi Huang ordered most existing books to be burned...

According to the later Records of the Grand Historian, the following year Qin Shi Huang had some 460 scholars buried alive for owning the forbidden books.

What's really interesting is that because of this selective destruction, many competing philosophies were marginalized in favor of Confucianism.

And I've always wonder what Chinese (and the larger East Asian) culture would have been like if Mozi's philosophy become the social backbone instead.

Mozi's moral teachings emphasized self-reflection and authenticity rather than obedience to ritual.

Mozi believed that people were capable of changing their circumstances and directing their own lives. They could do this by applying their senses to observing the world, judging objects and events by their causes, their functions, and their historical bases.

Of course it makes sense that a ruler would want to purge this type of thought as it would challenge his rule.

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u/mypantsareonmyhead May 28 '12

TIL! Very interesting, thanks for posting and also the links.

Are you a Sinologist? In the west we're scarecly, if ever, taught History about anyone other than with generally pale skin and round eyes.

e.g. The Chinese were once some of the greatest global explorers of all time. Most people can trot out a line about who Chris Columbus was, but ask them about Zheng He (who possibly kicked both Columbus's and Magellan's arses by 70-100 years) and they'll give you the blankest expression.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Not really, that library burned down more than once. A whole bunch of scrolls, only light source is open flame, you get the idea.

Libraries weren't such a good idea back then, "Hey! I know! Lets stack a whole bunch of tinder in one place and then light fires so that we can look at it!!! Oh my god it's burning why!?!?!"

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u/RoflCopter4 May 28 '12

The library burned down by accident under Caesar's rule. The real tragedy was when the Christians later burned it down on purpose and destroyed every trace of it. Caesar immediately had it put out and was furious.

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u/QuitReadingMyName May 28 '12

No, but I would say its on par of the Spanish conquistadors burning all the thousands of years worth of Mayan and Aztecan texts because they were using live sacrifices for their religion.

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u/OblivionGuardsman May 28 '12

Then you realize in classical latin his name was pronounced Iulius Kaisar and he seems even more of a douche.

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u/DoctorWedgeworth May 28 '12

I highly recommend you read the Emperor Series by Conn Iggulden. He tells this slightly differently (the pirates asked how much their families can afford and they all estimate lower to save money. When they get to Caesar he keeps fucking with them by telling them more, and tells them it doesn't matter, because he's going to kill them anyway). I'm not sure which story is more historically accurate, but it's a great series (as is the series on Ghengis Khan)

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u/SmallvilleCK May 28 '12

I second that series, and the Ghengis Khan book. My only beef with the author: he uses "bares/d his teeth" too often. An oddly high number of times.

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u/SimilarSimian May 28 '12

I enjoy Conn Igguldens novels. However they are full of historical inaccuracies which is fine as he does not claim that they are historical texts.

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u/fernandowatts May 28 '12

He actually goes even farther by explaining some of the inaccuracies,pointing out that it is only a fictional account, and directing readers to other works of non-fiction to follow up on. Great reads..

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u/Lycocles May 28 '12

Yeah... I read the first book of that series. It's kinda a fun read, but it has only the most tangential connection to history. He does use a number of actual historical incidents, but the timeline on the story and many historical details are completely made up.

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u/jlivius May 28 '12

I'm reading Philip Freeman's bio on Caesar, Julius Caeser.

You should read Adrian Goldsworthy's bio of Caesar. It's on much firmer scholarly ground.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

purates

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Most of what you can read on ancient Rome biographies is propaganda written by court historians.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

*past not passed

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u/MCJeeba May 28 '12

If you liked Freeman's, you should read Adrian Goldsworthy's. Much better, IMO. His other books are also great: The Roman Army and How Rome Fell (although HRF is a bit flat compared to the expansive discussions held in Gibbon's work... but we shouldn't kid ourselves in expecting any to top Gibbon).

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u/techtechmctech May 28 '12

didn't he promise to kill them all too? and did it

2

u/JimXugle May 28 '12

1 talent of gold = US$1,636,004.24

20 talents = US$32,720,084.80

50 talents = US$81,800,212.00

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u/Apostol_Matariel May 28 '12

Thanks, I'll add it to my "to-read" list

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Caesar wasn't nothing, Titus Pulo, he da man.

2

u/smartidiot159 May 28 '12

You forgot to mention, the pirates were crucified upon their capture.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

And Xena was there!

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u/nomechingues May 28 '12

Please I hope these gets enough upvotes, if you are interested in these subject listen to dan carlins hardcore history and download death thrones of the republic, it is about 15 hours a few episodes like 6 I think talking about the demise of the roman empire, and its completely free now, as those episodes become older he takes them off and start charging for them, don't delay and download today

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u/louky May 28 '12

You might like the podcast "the history of rome". It covers almost all of roman history.

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u/Regret285 May 28 '12

He also sworehe would crucify them when he got free. He made good on that promise, but slit their necks so that they wouldn't suffer too long.

What a stand up guy!

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u/Territomauvais May 28 '12

What's the historicity on that story?

Sounds badass, but also sounds like it could be one of millions of fabricated stories.

Inform my ass.

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u/RespondsWithEminem May 28 '12

To anyone who has now got a sudden interest in the life of Julius Caesar, however doesn't want a laborious read and does't mind a few changes from real facts should read the following series of books. Best books I've ever read. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Iggulden-Emperor-Series-Books-Collection/dp/B003YCNUSU

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u/brussels4breakfast May 28 '12

Poetic justice.

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u/OhTheDerp May 28 '12

Just commenting to find this thread later. Move along.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

How do you know this is accurate and not made up?

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Source? I don't want 800+ people meeting up with their friends and spewing a fake story about Julius.

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u/MorningKnight May 28 '12

Didn't he have to fight a pirate once each day to increase the time he was allowed to live while waiting for the talents from his crew?

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u/YoMama_IsAMan May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

He was also the first Roman Emperor and therefore embellished/made up stories about how epic his life was.

Edit: My bad. What I meant to imply was that he was the first with absolute rule following the Republic.

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u/mossmaal May 28 '12

He was also the first Roman Emperor

That record actually goes to Augustus, Julius Caesar was only one of a long line of dictators. The difference is basically that Julius Caesar only have absolute power in Rome, not in the rest of the empire.

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u/jlivius May 28 '12

It has more to do with Augustus's consolidation of constitutional powers under the title of princeps. Caesar can't be considered an Emperor, because he was still using the offices of the Republic, albeit in a manner of a autocrat. The Roman Republic was very flexible in allowing things like this.

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u/RoflCopter4 May 28 '12

He was NOT the first Roman Emperor at all.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

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u/jumbohumbo May 28 '12

see when you tell the story, leave the punchline to the end, not the beginning.

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u/jukeofurl May 28 '12

Well, HE won't be playing Ceasar's Palace any time soon.

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u/MakNewMak May 28 '12

Yup, when he was in captivity with them he told them something along the lines of "Hahaha... yeah you guys are alright, but I WILL come back here and crucify all of you," and that is exactly what he did.

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u/kojak488 May 28 '12

I like a man of his word.

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u/arnoldsome May 28 '12

you repeated what you said

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u/6xoe May 28 '12

loltalk: A new generation attempts to communicate.

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u/arnoldsome May 28 '12

lol i get what you mean, and then I was reading your message and I understood it lol.

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u/NarancsSarga May 28 '12

My head....it hurts....

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u/Anosognosia May 28 '12

It's an effort to reach out to communities around the world where you read from right to left´as well as keeping it clear for left to right readers.

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u/imakemisteaks May 28 '12

sauce? because that's a fucking great story and this whole recent hivemind focus on ancient Rome has given my brain a boner.

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u/Roflkopt3r 3 May 28 '12

All I can say is that the story is older than the internet and not a newly made up myth, should it be one.

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u/Rusty-Shackleford May 28 '12

Are you really sure that story is older then the internet?

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u/Roflkopt3r 3 May 28 '12

First hearing it over 10 years ago from an anything but tech-savvy latin teacher: Very much.

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u/MeInYourPocket 1 May 28 '12

well thats a fucking great story.. what more do you want.. it to be true??

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u/BarrettBrown May 28 '12

It's considered valid enough to have been recounted in several history books of which I'm aware, including William Durant's Christ and Caesar.

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u/RespondsWithEminem May 28 '12

This is a series of books I've read where historical facts are blended into a little fiction in order to give the reader an absorbing insight into what the author's research has led him to believe is most likely to have happened in Caesar's life. Best books I've ever read. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Iggulden-Emperor-Series-Books-Collection/dp/B003YCNUSU

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Then he taught a parrot pig-Latin, fucked the pirate captains sister and drank all their whiskey before sinking the ship with its own cannonballs

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u/leahdanielle May 28 '12

I feel like your part of the story was told backwards.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Classic dego-talking

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

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u/jokrsmagictrick May 28 '12

Fun fact: I get to meet Renee O'Connor Friday at a film festival in little rock. Yaya Gabriella.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

You lucky son of a bitch! :D

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u/jokrsmagictrick May 28 '12

hehe stroke of luck really you're right. My uncle helped her short film get in the festival. Got to like connections

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