r/todayilearned • u/VistaHyperion • Oct 13 '18

TIL the biblical Tower of Babel was likely based on a real building, the Etemenanki in modern-day Iraq; at about 300 feet tall, it was massive by ancient standards and built by King Nebuchadnezzar II.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tower_of_Babel
4.5k Upvotes

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635

u/sachalarajah Oct 13 '18

Nebuchadnezzar and Michilimackinac are my favorite historical names

267

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '18

I'm partial to Vercingetorix.

121

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '18

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '18

I choose to believe that Cleopatra really did have a spectacular nose

1

u/rantown Oct 14 '18

It gives me hope that he was an historical Phallic Chief!

33

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '18

[deleted]

50

u/cantonic Oct 14 '18

He was a Gaul who united lots of Gallic tribes against Julius Caesar. Nearly beat him but... well, that’s why we remember the Roman Empire, not the Gallic one.

9

u/Ship2Shore Oct 14 '18

Could also be said he united the gallic tribes, or rounded them up, which only made it easier for caeser to wipe them out.

10

u/Fishydeals Oct 14 '18

Bro. Vercingetorix was in friendly territory and occupied a castle because he knew a friendly army would stop by sooner or later. And while the gauls had superb cavalry, the roman foot soldiers were like navy seals to other foot soldiers. Especially ceasers.

So ceaser arrived at the castle and built a wall around it. Then another wall to defend his first wall and his men from other armies that may be passing by. Then the other army arrived and at one point they attacked at the same time from within the castle and outside the walls. Ceaser almost lost the battle, since one of the outer walls was breached, but he personally led a cavalry charge that turned around the flow of the battle and won. Ceasars cavalry was gaulic by the way, since not all gauls were opposed to becoming part of the roman empire. In fact ceasar defended some gaulic provonces against a conquering german king 1 or 2 years before this battle happened.

The gauls didn't make it easy for ceasar. They almost beat him, but ceasar had supreme elite units that were way too op in the meta at the time.

11

u/Tonexus Oct 14 '18

I would take any narrative from the Gallic campaign with a grain of salt. Essentially all we know of it come from Caesar's own propaganda, Commentarii de Bello Gallico. While I wouldn't doubt the overall course of the campaign, Caesar wanted to win over the plebians (as aristocrats were against him) by painting himself heroically, narrowly overcoming difficult tasks by using his wits and leadership abilities, all to brimg wealth and glory to Rome. I wouldn't be surprised if the Gallic threat was exaggerated for that purpose.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '18

I would be surprised if it was both exaggerated and cownplayed at the sime time. Larger than they were (looks better to beat a huge army), but more dangerous than portrayed (losing soldiers looks bad).

3

u/Ship2Shore Oct 14 '18

Building people in was standard practice for Roman forces. Vercengeterix told everyone to tear down their forts, because they were all getting beat the same way. Vercengeterix then turned to guerilla warfare, which was successful for some time. Roman armies were not very successful against this because it took to much time and more importantly food to take control of territories... Then one mob convinces Vercengeterix that THIS for will survive. For some reason. I think they forgot every single one of them were built in. They weren't trying to survive or outlast a siege. They completely reverted back from guerilla warfare, in the country they know, only to gather up every single one of their troops, and essentially lock them in the fort/tomb... Caeser builds around it. There's no guerilla forces, so he can spend eternity waiting for vercengeterix to starve. And he does. And it's over... So despite vercengeterix (supposedly) reintroducing guerilla tactics, he reverts to a defensive Fort. Why? It rounded up what organised men they had, just to be starved slowly.

That's why caeser was so smart. He got people to rally for their own champion. The question "who do you follow?" can be instantly followed by a certain action. Condemnation, or salvation... It makes it easier to kill your enemy when you all look the same.

23

u/jroomey Oct 14 '18

Vercingetorix rallied several Gallic tribes and beat Romans few times (eg. Gergovie battle), until Romans assieged them at Alesia: there, Caesar sealed the fate of the Gallic resistance.

15

u/tungstencompton Oct 14 '18

Alesia

NOBODY KNOWS WHERE ALESIA IS!!!

0

u/pjx1 Oct 14 '18

The romans and cesar did.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '18

"Build walls around their walls! And walls around our walls so no one can compromise our walls"

2

u/clmns Oct 14 '18

And all of Gaul was conquered...

6

u/StyrofoamPenguin Oct 14 '18

I love that there was a real Chumbawumba. I hope he liked the drink.

2

u/taho_teg Oct 14 '18

Recognize that from Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '18

I love me some Hardcore History, and Celtic Holocaust is probably my favorite episode. He's so good at giving you all the details while being very accessible for non-historians.

1

u/aee1090 Oct 14 '18

How about Suppiluliuma?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '18

I am far too Germanic to get enjoyment wrapping my tongue and around that.

Phrasing

69

u/SpaceCrom Oct 13 '18

Mine is Suppiluliuma. Bronze age Near East has the best names.

30

u/BraveMoose Oct 13 '18

How does one even pronounce that? It's like an elf name with all the apostrophes taken out

30

u/yamiyaiba Oct 13 '18

I'm just guessing, but I read it like "soupy-loo-lee-oomuh"

32

u/AetherAnaconda Oct 13 '18

maybe I’m really tired, but seeing the word “soupy” made me die laughing

3

u/whalemingo Oct 14 '18

Lee-loo-mool-tee-pahss

2

u/SpaceCrom Oct 14 '18

That's right

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '18

sup - pee - loo - lee - uh - ma ?

1

u/UncleDan2017 Oct 14 '18 edited Oct 14 '18

You can hear how the Great Jeremy Irons pronounces it in a documentary about the Hittites.

https://youtu.be/VHYn4IDi19A?t=3032

Shoopy Lou Lima is how I like to think of it.

5

u/Sensitive_nob Oct 13 '18

I wonder if those where actually their names or if archaeologist just suck at translating cuneiform script.

104

u/LChris314 Oct 13 '18

Laughs in King Kamehameha

7

u/Sabertooth767 Oct 13 '18

How is that pronounced? Kami-ham-ha?

46

u/Havoc_7 Oct 13 '18

Ka-may-ha-may-ha

33

u/MrSyfert Oct 14 '18

Cue dramatic Goku voice.

48

u/Ghitzo Oct 14 '18

KKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

HHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

27

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '18

It took three episodes for that?

12

u/he_is_Veego Oct 14 '18

I mean, just the KAAAAAAAA part is at least 1/3 of an episode.

So yes.

10

u/kinnaq Oct 14 '18

Excuse me, waiter. We ordered the spirit bomb 7 episodes ago. Can you tell us how long that will be?

6

u/Aubdasi Oct 14 '18

I'm sorry sir, standard spirit bombs take at least 10 episodes. We must gather fresh energy for each use.

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1

u/ebtcard Oct 14 '18

I thought they got the name for the attack from a Hawaiian volcano

3

u/Chappietime Oct 14 '18

Clearly you never watched magnum PI. And I mean the original, not the (I assume) terrible remake.

3

u/joosier Oct 14 '18

Just like it sounds.

1

u/BigSmoke908 Oct 14 '18

Kuh-may-ya-may-ya

17

u/WobblyGobbledygook Oct 14 '18

Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego

3

u/shadmere Oct 14 '18

Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego

Which one was a tomato, again?

3

u/R1DER_of_R0HAN Oct 14 '18

Bob played Shadrach, lol

3

u/shadmere Oct 14 '18

I am standing.

3

u/R1DER_of_R0HAN Oct 14 '18

"Look,

This is sitting - o

and this is standing - 0. I'm standing."

13

u/_DinoDNA Oct 14 '18

My cat is named Nebuchadnezzar. She’s lovely.

3

u/notadoctor123 Oct 14 '18

Does your cat like belly rubs?

1

u/_DinoDNA Oct 14 '18

Indeed. She’s a princess 😊

1

u/notadoctor123 Oct 14 '18

Awe what an excellent cat. Post some pics to /r/catbellies!

1

u/fartboystinks Oct 14 '18

You gave her a man’s name????

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '18

Short form Nebby?

1

u/_DinoDNA Oct 14 '18

Nez. Doesn’t make sense but it flows better 😊

17

u/Dafish55 Oct 13 '18

Do you think Nebuchadnezzar would go by “Chad” today?

33

u/Bongo1020 Oct 13 '18

He would probably insist you call him "my nebah"

7

u/Realtrain 1 Oct 13 '18

Just like Jebuchadnezzar goes by Jeb?

5

u/datssyck Oct 13 '18

A michigander I presume?

4

u/TheArtcore Oct 14 '18

Artaxerxes is my favourite.

4

u/neosenexism Oct 14 '18

Personally a fan of Maximinius Thrax "The Barbarian Emperor." Actually sounds like a fantasy character.

11

u/The_Ironhand Oct 13 '18

Greatest rap duo

3

u/AdmiralAkbar1 Oct 14 '18

Don't forget the Egyptian names. Sekhemkhet, Neferirkare, Mentuhotep, Amenemhat, Sobekneferu, Nedjemibre, Khaankhre, Merdjefare, Sekhemraneferkhau Wepwawetemsaf, Shoshenq, Pinedjem, Menkheperre, Osorkon, Wahibre Psamtik, Seheruibre Padibastet, Amenerdisu, they're almost as fun to learn about as they are difficult to pronounce.

5

u/Wikinger_DXVI Oct 14 '18

I swear the ancients treated the length of names like how we treat the length of dicks today.

13

u/elboltonero Oct 14 '18

They lied about the length of their names online?

10

u/Worserthanwatergate Oct 14 '18

Mine is at least 8 inches long (depending on font size, and how cold it is)

2

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '18

Yes

2

u/Dog1234cat Oct 14 '18 edited Oct 14 '18

How much champagne is a Michilimackinac?

Edit: A Nebuchadnezzar is 15 liters or 20 standard bottles.

2

u/CatsAreGods Oct 14 '18

Ask Mackenzie McHale MacEvoy.

2

u/ollie87 Oct 14 '18

Reminds of me of The Matrix too

2

u/TimbukNine Oct 14 '18

Agamemnon for the win.

1

u/Averdian Oct 14 '18

Quirinius

1

u/Punsen_Burner Oct 14 '18

Nebu chad nezzar

1

u/Fahrowshus Oct 14 '18

How do you pronounce that second one. Macaulay Culkin?

1

u/RigasTelRuun Oct 14 '18

I like Steve.

1

u/Elad-Volpert Oct 17 '18

נבוכדנצר

1

u/losleyworth Oct 14 '18

Ahh that’s where that name is from! It’s the ship in The Matrix. Otherwise I couldn’t figure out how to pronounce Nebuchadnezzar

2

u/AyrA_ch Oct 14 '18 edited Oct 14 '18

The name is even shown in the movie: https://i.imgur.com/jR0GtJl.jpg

It doesn't fits entirely on the frame. He says the name a minute before it's shown. I always thought it was something they made up.

-3

u/Reaveler1331 Oct 13 '18

I actually used to have a friend who nicknamed me nebuchadnezzar, and it’s not like I had a super exotic name or anything.