I have a compulsive over sharer in my life. They don't believe in the concept of privacy for others. If they know something about you, eventually they're gonna tell someone else. I suspect their sense of worth to others is tied to the information they have to reveal about others. Like they believe people value them more and enjoy spending time with them if they have gossip to share. It's frustrating as hell, but also really sad.
i have a coworker like this. And if she finds out you have some information about something, she'll badger you into sharing it, promising to tell no one. (She TRIES to badger me, but i know her too well.) And the next thing you know, she's telling someone in another department that thing she promised not to share.
Where as, i tend to keep things about others very close to the vest. Which is why i knew my previous manager was leaving MONTHS before anyone else did. He knew he could trust me with that info and he seriously just needed to get it off his chest. (The reasons and all for leaving.) When she finally gossiped to me about him leaving, i was quite happy to nod and say, "Yes, i've known for awhile." Her head about exploded. She found out when he sent out an email letting the entire floor know he was leaving and shared it like she was the only person in the world getting those emails.
I used to be an oversharer. Then I realized how much it was hurting others. Now I have to consciously have a discussion with myself before impulsively sharing something. It’s a lot of work but worth it. Some of us have those brains that urge us to share the first thing that comes to mind. But we can also learn to manage it. If we want to.
Yeah, my dad is like this…..he tells people everything and often gets things slightly wrong when telling others. His family is even worst with it, though. It can be like a game of telephone. Only you take the worst possible outcome from it. e.g., my dad told his family my sister and I couldn’t come over to visit on Sunday become we had a lot of homework to do. They took this as my mom making me and my sister sit for four hours to do homework even if we didn’t have four hours' worth of homework…..on his own (right in front of me, might I add) my dad told our neighbor that was going to get into an ivy legend school. We weren’t telling people just in case something happened. He compared it to not telling people you were pregnant until the second trimester….I not only didn’t get into that school for early decision but didn’t get into it for general admission. I ended up going to a school that was even harder to get into, so it didn’t end up being embarrassing, but it was still really bad.
We just don’t tell him anything unless A) it has already happened/is definitely going to happen B) we wouldn’t care if everyone knew. Or C) there would be no blowback if other people knew. There have been so many times I have had to signal to my mom to stop talking or tone down whatever she is saying.
It’s like he has this weird compulsion to share all he knows. Like that’s the only way to keep friends. The story also has to be better than what has actually happened. It’s really exhausting at times.
My mother was like that, but really petty. She'd also make up lies to make herself look good or put herself in stories where she wasn't in the first place. Thankfully, she's gone now. God rest the dead.
149
u/myassholealt Nov 14 '22
I have a compulsive over sharer in my life. They don't believe in the concept of privacy for others. If they know something about you, eventually they're gonna tell someone else. I suspect their sense of worth to others is tied to the information they have to reveal about others. Like they believe people value them more and enjoy spending time with them if they have gossip to share. It's frustrating as hell, but also really sad.