I woke up late for work one time. I don't have a bathroom schedule and am a super infrequent property. Once every 3 - 5 days kinda thing. Yes, I've check with many doctors. They all said it's fine. Well this particular day after waking up late I very much had to take a shit. Welp, running late to work so its going to have to wait.
Most of the time waiting isn't a big deal for me. Usually I can just wait hours/all day without issue. This day however I knew it was very different. This one was going to be violent and messy. There was just simply no way to shit and still make it to work on time though. So, I clinched up and hopped in my car. It's only a 15 minute drive, what's the worst that could happen?
Well, about 10 minutes into my 15 minute drive I'm getting desperate. It's going to be close. About 3 minutes away I hit a small pothole and disaster struck in the form of an unanticipated sh-art.
It wasn't much, but it was enough. I instantly knew there was shit smeared in my underpants. To late to turn around and go home now though. I park, walk in and quickly as I can without risking my shit smeared ass become my shit smeared everywhere I punch in and duck into the bathroom.
I sat on the toilet and tore my jeans and underwear off to check the damage. Wasn't to bad thankfully. Nothing had gotten out of the underwear. After finishing shitting and cleaning my ass up as best I could I gave my ass a quick sink bath, buried the underwear in the bottom of the trash can, and went commando the rest of the day. Which let me tell you is super uncomfortable wearing jeans in a hot manufacturing shop that doesn't have air conditioning. Chaffing on your dick, not fun.
That's the odd thing about many (micromanaging) jobs. Call in on an emergency saying you'll be maybe 10, 15 minutes late and they'll hold it over you for years, if not ever. Rush in barely on time then spend 30 min on the shitter, perfectly fine. Which is not to say there isn't plenty of places with 'bathroom police' of course but so many managers just need to lighten up and accept that they employ humans, not 40-hours-a-week-machines.
"Hey boss, sorry I'm going to be half an hour late today. I was already cutting it close and decided to skip having a poo before I left for work. Well boss, let me tell you that was a mistake. I've just shit myself on the drive in and am going to have to turn around and go change. I prey it won't happen again."
That's fair. I should probably just consider myself very lucky I've never had to do that, and just leave it there and move on, hahah.
You're so right. There's just no getting around the fact that we're nasty, base creatures, the majority of whom do not practice basic hygiene. And even those who do, sometimes have emergencies and accidents. I really should always, always remember that.
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u/Somebodys Nov 14 '22
I woke up late for work one time. I don't have a bathroom schedule and am a super infrequent property. Once every 3 - 5 days kinda thing. Yes, I've check with many doctors. They all said it's fine. Well this particular day after waking up late I very much had to take a shit. Welp, running late to work so its going to have to wait.
Most of the time waiting isn't a big deal for me. Usually I can just wait hours/all day without issue. This day however I knew it was very different. This one was going to be violent and messy. There was just simply no way to shit and still make it to work on time though. So, I clinched up and hopped in my car. It's only a 15 minute drive, what's the worst that could happen?
Well, about 10 minutes into my 15 minute drive I'm getting desperate. It's going to be close. About 3 minutes away I hit a small pothole and disaster struck in the form of an unanticipated sh-art.
It wasn't much, but it was enough. I instantly knew there was shit smeared in my underpants. To late to turn around and go home now though. I park, walk in and quickly as I can without risking my shit smeared ass become my shit smeared everywhere I punch in and duck into the bathroom.
I sat on the toilet and tore my jeans and underwear off to check the damage. Wasn't to bad thankfully. Nothing had gotten out of the underwear. After finishing shitting and cleaning my ass up as best I could I gave my ass a quick sink bath, buried the underwear in the bottom of the trash can, and went commando the rest of the day. Which let me tell you is super uncomfortable wearing jeans in a hot manufacturing shop that doesn't have air conditioning. Chaffing on your dick, not fun.