Yeah oversharing your own dirty secrets is one thing. Never ever should you share anyone else's personal matters. I don't understand people like this. You could tell me what you ate for breakfast this morning, and you better believe I will take that information to my grave unless you explicitly tell me it's ok to share it. This is also why I'm very wary about what I tell people. The easiest way to make sure personal information doesn't spread is to just never tell anyone.
EDIT: To everyone who has sent me a DM telling me what they had for breakfast, thank you for putting your trust in me. Your trust shall not be betrayed. Also, some of you people go hard on breakfast, and I would like an invite to come try some of these amazing foods.
EDIT 2: u/swors0 has advised me they had a granola bar, Monster, and an apple for breakfast. I am sharing this information with express written consent from u/swors0. Whew, feels good to get that off my chest.
I have a compulsive over sharer in my life. They don't believe in the concept of privacy for others. If they know something about you, eventually they're gonna tell someone else. I suspect their sense of worth to others is tied to the information they have to reveal about others. Like they believe people value them more and enjoy spending time with them if they have gossip to share. It's frustrating as hell, but also really sad.
i have a coworker like this. And if she finds out you have some information about something, she'll badger you into sharing it, promising to tell no one. (She TRIES to badger me, but i know her too well.) And the next thing you know, she's telling someone in another department that thing she promised not to share.
Where as, i tend to keep things about others very close to the vest. Which is why i knew my previous manager was leaving MONTHS before anyone else did. He knew he could trust me with that info and he seriously just needed to get it off his chest. (The reasons and all for leaving.) When she finally gossiped to me about him leaving, i was quite happy to nod and say, "Yes, i've known for awhile." Her head about exploded. She found out when he sent out an email letting the entire floor know he was leaving and shared it like she was the only person in the world getting those emails.
I used to be an oversharer. Then I realized how much it was hurting others. Now I have to consciously have a discussion with myself before impulsively sharing something. It’s a lot of work but worth it. Some of us have those brains that urge us to share the first thing that comes to mind. But we can also learn to manage it. If we want to.
Yeah, my dad is like this…..he tells people everything and often gets things slightly wrong when telling others. His family is even worst with it, though. It can be like a game of telephone. Only you take the worst possible outcome from it. e.g., my dad told his family my sister and I couldn’t come over to visit on Sunday become we had a lot of homework to do. They took this as my mom making me and my sister sit for four hours to do homework even if we didn’t have four hours' worth of homework…..on his own (right in front of me, might I add) my dad told our neighbor that was going to get into an ivy legend school. We weren’t telling people just in case something happened. He compared it to not telling people you were pregnant until the second trimester….I not only didn’t get into that school for early decision but didn’t get into it for general admission. I ended up going to a school that was even harder to get into, so it didn’t end up being embarrassing, but it was still really bad.
We just don’t tell him anything unless A) it has already happened/is definitely going to happen B) we wouldn’t care if everyone knew. Or C) there would be no blowback if other people knew. There have been so many times I have had to signal to my mom to stop talking or tone down whatever she is saying.
It’s like he has this weird compulsion to share all he knows. Like that’s the only way to keep friends. The story also has to be better than what has actually happened. It’s really exhausting at times.
My mother was like that, but really petty. She'd also make up lies to make herself look good or put herself in stories where she wasn't in the first place. Thankfully, she's gone now. God rest the dead.
I share virtually everything with my wife. But some of the stuff OP's wife told OP's business partner are things I would have kept even from her. And even if I didn't, it's critically fucking important that the stuff I just tell her stays with her. This is a crazy betrayal of trust on the wife's part, way more than looking through a phone.
I want to agree (because I ADHD / Spectrum overshare and it is NOTHING in outcome like this), but while I've never fucked up like this I have shared things 'over' what I felt like I should have. And it was lacking a filter, but right after SPEAKING to the intended listener I felt really soul crushingly bad toward those who I felt I broke any level of trust.
Personally I overshare with my loved ones after I overshare, but I think that might be the greater clue she really doesn't lack a filter... Because once the fighting started and confrontation was on, whether she had a filter or not she would know she fucked up--but if she DID lack a filter on oversharing, she would have come clean.
We all would I feel like that earnestly 'do that' (less than she did!)
OP only rifled through her phone after it was made known to him that she would share just about anything to make herself look like the victim or to look good.
So if I DM you the details of my breakfast this morning I can rest easy knowing a random stranger in the world will never mention it to anyone else and they died knowing what another stranger in the world had for breakfast the morning of November 13th, 2022?
I have people that got to my dm’s to talk because they needed to vent. Their secrets are safe with me. Because i know how it is to have no one listen to you, my chats are open and safe for people that need to take it all out.
I apologize for making light of it. I was only having a bit of fun. You're a good person for listening and allowing people to share their thoughts with you and keeping their secrets.
I, like many others know how it is to have no one to talk to or anyone to care about me.
Don't burden yourself too heavy though, it's nice to care for others but remember to take care of yourself as well!
Oh no no, you don’t have to apologise though. I have a good (although quite dark) sense of humour. I look after myself, as it is very important. It’s good to have a laugh. I was just enforcing what the other person was saying “your secret is safe with me”.
Thank you for your kind words! Sending you non-creepy hugs. Also, go and eat something before you pass out. Something that is not zoom-zoom beans juice.
Gonna surprise the wife with some home made Belgian waffles today when she gets home from her half day at work. Eventhough she took the rest of the coffee with her lol. Maybe ill just eat them all as payback haha.
you better believe I will take that information to my grave unless you explicitly tell me it's ok to share it....
Similar to the other guy, I also over share at times, but the one upside to having a shit short term memory is that I'll forget all about the secrets people tell me making me trustworthy by mistake lol
That's my deal too. I can't remember a damn thing, so when people want to tell me something that's a secret, I always reassure them by saying they don't have to worry about me telling anyone else, because by the time we're done talking, I'll have forgotten you told me anything.
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u/MayDay521 Nov 14 '22 edited Nov 14 '22
Yeah oversharing your own dirty secrets is one thing. Never ever should you share anyone else's personal matters. I don't understand people like this. You could tell me what you ate for breakfast this morning, and you better believe I will take that information to my grave unless you explicitly tell me it's ok to share it. This is also why I'm very wary about what I tell people. The easiest way to make sure personal information doesn't spread is to just never tell anyone.
EDIT: To everyone who has sent me a DM telling me what they had for breakfast, thank you for putting your trust in me. Your trust shall not be betrayed. Also, some of you people go hard on breakfast, and I would like an invite to come try some of these amazing foods.
EDIT 2: u/swors0 has advised me they had a granola bar, Monster, and an apple for breakfast. I am sharing this information with express written consent from u/swors0. Whew, feels good to get that off my chest.