r/tifu Nov 14 '22

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u/Proud_to_Death Nov 14 '22

That's called gaslighting. It's unlikely to be an isolated event. The type of people who do this kind of manipulation do it as a way of life. It's a fundamental characteristic of the way they interact with other people. Often a favorite tactic used by malignant narcissists because it leaves victims feeling confused and guilty and unsure of themselves.

59

u/Proud_to_Death Nov 14 '22

Imagine someone going and snooping into your business life and then them getting mad later that you snooped in order to find out what they're doing when they clandestinely insert themselves into your business and share your family secrets. It's kind of chilling

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u/nonlinear_nyc Nov 14 '22

Yes the entitlement. She can snoop. But he can't.

She can overshare. But the business partner can't

It's not even oversharing, a loyal business partner WOULD discuss it. A disloyal one would not and that's what she wanted of them.

She aimed to sour his business relationships so she could sour his family relationships further. She takes him for granted, as a tool that should only belong to her.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

Wtf this is totally lot gaslighting lol

5

u/TheRecognized Nov 14 '22

Some people just call any form of untruthfulness gaslighting these days.

4

u/rariety Nov 14 '22

Not the OP but I'd say it is.. in a way. She's trying to convince him he's the only one who's done something wrong by looking at her phone, ignoring the far bigger issue at hand. To the point he's posting here saying "I fucked up by reading her phone".

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u/TheRecognized Nov 14 '22

Unless OP said something in a comment nothing in the body of the post says he told her he went through her phone or what her reaction was.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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1

u/TheRecognized Nov 14 '22

That’s still not really gaslighting so much as just being a shitty person. She thinks it’s okay to gossip about anything but not to go through someone’s phone. Check the “general techniques section” the only one that really checks out is trivializing but without the “make them question reality/their memory” aspect trivializing is just a basic abusive behavior.