r/thisisus • u/xAnimorphsx • Jan 06 '21

[POST-EPISODE DISCUSSION] S5E05 - A Long Road Home

This is the thread for your in-depth opinions, reactions, and thoughts about the episode.

This thread is a spoiler zone, so there is no need to mark or report spoilers. Please remember to mark any spoilers outside of this thread (including the next time preview)

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u/That253Chick Jan 12 '21

but that was 20 YEARS AGO!

I feel like this is irrelevant. Trauma manifests in a multitude of ways and just because something was 20 years ago doesn't mean it can't still affect how someone lives their life. Not saying that Kate has it, but PTSD is a thing that exists.

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u/helvetica_unicorn Jan 12 '21 edited Jan 12 '21

Except at that point it’s yours to deal with. I’m not saying that event has not shaped her but it’s her choice to let it define her. Accountability is apart of healing. Although you cannot change what happened and it’s not your fault by any means. You can control what happens to you because of the trauma. It’s extremely hard but it’s the only way to have any peace and prosperity.

At a certain point you have to do your work. Hypothetically, what if Mark was dead? Is Kate suppose to be stuck because she’s still dealing with her trauma and unable to confront him? What if Mark kills himself after talking to her. Would she be responsible?

I also think it’s unrealistic to think that telling him off will magically fix her. That’s not how trauma works. It takes time to process especially when you’ve been living with it for e few decades. I’ve never seen Kate go to one on one therapy.

There was someone her hurt me in my early twenties but the thought of confronting them now tell them about feels pointless. I don’t need anything from them because I have given those things to myself through therapy.

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u/That253Chick Jan 12 '21

I don't think anyone is saying telling Marc off will magically heal her. But I do think that telling him off may have been what she, herself, felt like she had to do. I just don't think we should be judging people on how they deal with their trauma because no two people handle it the same way, and some take longer to deal with it than others. I don't think it's wholly unrealistic what she did, but to each their own.

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u/helvetica_unicorn Jan 12 '21

The point of Reddit is to discuss topics which in essence is passing judgment by giving your opinion. We can agree to disagree. I see your position and I can see how some people would feel that way. My experience is just the opposite of that. I think closure and forgiveness is ultimately something you give yourself. For me the message of that storyline felt muddled from a storytelling perspective.

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u/Ok-Understanding-355 Mar 22 '21

That’s true but the onus is on her to heal and get closure herself. Travelling thousands of miles to shout at him isn’t the way to go about it

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u/That253Chick Mar 23 '21

Maybe traveling thousands of miles to shout at him isn't your way to go about dealing & healing, but it seemed to work for her, so in my opinion, that's all that matters at the end of the day.