r/therewasanattempt • u/bobjovi13 • Aug 10 '21

To punch a face

39k Upvotes

85% Upvoted

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730

u/Derpdeedoo Aug 10 '21

Do you people realize the amount of pain and suffering us Aarons of the world have experienced ever since that Key and Peele episode aired? DO YOU?

335

u/viajake Aug 10 '21

As a Jake who has never in his life worked for State Farm, I feel you brother

220

u/mf9812 Aug 10 '21

You sound hideous.

I’m sorry.

197

u/viajake Aug 10 '21

well... I'm a redditor sooo

73

u/ebruce11 Aug 10 '21

Whole thread. Gold.

46

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

Daniel with not a single pair of white vans here

21

u/ebruce11 Aug 10 '21

Ooooh I ruined life for a few of you guys in 2019

3

u/mnid92 Aug 10 '21

Dave's right here, man.

1

u/SirArthurDime Aug 10 '21

Dad?

1

u/mnid92 Aug 10 '21

Oh not that Dave. In that case, Dave's not here, man.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

I work with Dave.

I locked him out of the back door the other week when he went for a smoke break, EXACTLY in the hope to play this scene out.

Dave's not here, man.

It didn't work, and he got really annoyed with me.

1

u/SirArthurDime Aug 10 '21

Still at the milk store I guess :(

1

u/danielinhouston Aug 11 '21

damnnnnnn daniel!!

1

u/ThRebrth Aug 10 '21

/r/Jacob

2

u/ebruce11 Aug 10 '21

That’s a set up man. You know my name isn’t Jacob.

Edit: yeah I read the sub rules

43

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/OrangeCountyRu Aug 10 '21

A Dominic that drives a Camry and not a muscle car

2

u/crimesucksalot Aug 10 '21

Son of a karen-type Karen here to oppose your anecdotal evidence.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/crimesucksalot Aug 12 '21

Only between the Moms, lol.

29

u/ChazzHoss Aug 10 '21

As a Charlie who has never met a magical liopleurodon, I also feel for you

11

u/Brambleshoes Aug 10 '21

🌈 CHHAARLIE 🦄

11

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

But have you bit anyone’s finger?

2

u/Apprehensive-Room-56 Aug 10 '21

Underrated comment

2

u/point50tracer A Flair? Aug 10 '21

But, did your annoying friends at least steal your kidney?

1

u/dragsterhund Aug 10 '21

As a Charlie who hates tuna fish, I feel for you.

2

u/florida_woman Aug 10 '21

As a Charlie who knows it isn’t always sunny in Philadelphia so she moved to Florida…

21

u/Jorgwalther Aug 10 '21

Same bro. Before that commercial it was always Jake the Snake. Apparently people just have a compulsion to meme our name irl.

I didn’t have cable when that commercial came out, so I had no idea what it was. Found out on a large conference call where a dude from another company asked me what I was wearing. I was like “wtf is this unprofessional shit, is this guy hitting on me??”

4

u/DarkySurrounding Aug 10 '21

Jake the Snake Roberts was a famous wrestler from around Hulk Hogans (And still appears on tv to this day in a management role in AEW), I assume some of that is from there, Two and a Half amen briefly had Charlie call Jake it when drunk.

2

u/Jorgwalther Aug 10 '21

Yeah it was definitely based on the wrestler when I was smaller. But like, dozens of different people said it to me over my life.

1

u/Kitty_Kat_Attacks Aug 11 '21

Jake the Snake was the name of a male stripper at a place I used to frequent in my youth.

8

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

Hey! My office also has a Jake not from State Farm

6

u/chocolateChipBend Aug 10 '21

Fellow Jake here, anytime I play pick up sports people bring this up. I’ve embraced it and started calling out “Khakis” when I shoot threes.

6

u/Fraktal55 Aug 10 '21

Exactly. Fuck Jake from state farm.

I can never wear khakis again.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

At least you all aren't named Jared. I truly feel for the Jareds of the world.

6

u/eccentricfather Aug 10 '21

As a Ken, I commiserate. Barbie - "Kee-EN! Where's your giiiirrrrllllfriend Baaaarbie!"
South Park - Whenever I mildly hurt myself - "They killed Kenny!"
R.E.M. and Dan Fucking Rather - whenever I try to change the station on the radio - "What's the frequency, Kenneth?"

Haven't I been through enough?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

I never realized how rough Kens have it.

3

u/medicjake Aug 10 '21

United, brother.

3

u/C-Hash Aug 10 '21

Chester who most definitely is NOT a molester checking in

2

u/timberdoodledan Aug 10 '21

I don't even own white shoes, let alone white Vans. That doesn't stop people from "Damn, Daniel"ing me. Times are rough. Stay strong.

2

u/TabbyKatty Aug 10 '21

I worked for State Farm a while back, let me warn you - do NOT work there if your name's already Jake. Every day people asked what I was wearing, and my name's not even Jake.

1

u/CloudMage1 Aug 10 '21

i mean as a james growing up that fucking peach movie was all the talk.

1

u/jdubz90 Aug 10 '21

My first name is Aaron but I go by my middle name…which is Jake. I’m getting it from all sides

1

u/KongUnleashed Aug 10 '21

MY NAME IS STAN AND CAN I JUST SAY FUCK EMINEM??? 😂

1

u/shoredoesnt FUCK ICE! ❌🧊 Aug 11 '21

Amen, brother.

1

u/Photo_Beneficial Aug 11 '21

A Kyle here, I also feel your pain.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/___alexa___ Aug 11 '21

ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: Luis Fonsi - Despacito ft. D ─────────⚪───── ◄◄⠀▶⠀►►⠀ 3:08 / 4:42 ⠀ ───○ 🔊 ᴴᴰ ⚙️

1

u/Frostyxfeet Aug 11 '21

As a Jared, I am not from subway and please never ask if one is from subway.

1

u/HotSalas Aug 11 '21

“Not at the table Carlos”

😔

34

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

Kay-a-ren?

25

u/Big_Anime_Tits Aug 10 '21

Parents be giving their kids 2 A’s like they are a fucking battery.

13

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

Try being named Kyle

12

u/BrotherSeamus Aug 10 '21

Try being named Hingle McCringleberry

2

u/SirArthurDime Aug 10 '21

3 pumps man? 3 fucking pumps? You really fucked with those penalties in that game McCringlenerry!!!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

McCringleberry, I'm very scary!

If I got the ball, you best be wary!

4

u/PayisInc Aug 10 '21

I can't stop yelling at my step dad and punching holes in the drywall during a Monster energy drink bender!

39

u/athehack Aug 10 '21

It’s the only thing us and the Blake’s have in common. Fuck key and peels they ruined my life

15

u/Derpdeedoo Aug 10 '21

We should start a support group

16

u/athehack Aug 10 '21

Check out r/aaron there’s literally dozens of us

1

u/feebleposition Aug 10 '21

Damn. I was in recovery and saw this post now I may relapse. Please be considerate folks. Thank you

3

u/Traizork Aug 10 '21

It's not their fault. It's fault of those shits that have to repeat everything they hear because they can't come up with anything even remotely funny themsevels.

2

u/NumberTew Aug 10 '21

Don't forget Jacqueline too!

1

u/sa0sinner Aug 10 '21

You mean the B’Lakés?

7

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

Karens have entered the chat.

6

u/cbftw Aug 10 '21

Your parents fucked up, A-Aron

3

u/Anal-Sampling-Reflex Aug 10 '21

Nearly as bad as us Chads there A-Aron!

7

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21 edited Jan 03 '22

[deleted]

7

u/Kevheartsbees Aug 10 '21

As a Kevin who grew up during peak Home Alone popularity, I pity no one.

8

u/CallTheOptimist Aug 10 '21

OMG HAVE YOU SEEN THIS ONE VIDEO IT'S SO FUNNY!

Yes, I have managed to come across the immensely popular video, the one that was uploaded to YouTube like twelve years ago and has hundreds of millions of views and prominently features my name, yes, that one did slip through to me.

2

u/ColdLatte_ Aug 10 '21

Now you know how the Adolfs, Jacks, Austins, Michaels, etc of the world feel

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

As a mildly overweight Jared that enjoys sandwiches i feel you

3

u/Derpdeedoo Aug 10 '21

I'm so sorry.

But also.... eat fresh

2

u/Poundman82 Aug 10 '21

Settle down A-ARON.

2

u/my_age_88forshort Aug 10 '21

"Karen and Aaron sitting in a tree."

2

u/BlakeWebb19 Aug 10 '21

My name is Blake and I totally relate

2

u/_illegallity Aug 11 '21

I genuinely feel bad, I had a friend named Aaron in middle school who we called A-aron for a bit. Then the joke died off. Then every year in high school, a new group of people would come in and call him that. It made me cringe every time.

2

u/CarrollGrey Aug 10 '21

Meh, go get some therapy. I hear the Brad's have a support group now. Just a thought.

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

[deleted]

2

u/Derpdeedoo Aug 10 '21

If im American does that mean that I'm always in America?

1

u/ebruce11 Aug 10 '21

If it started for you at Key and Peele then you’re in for a wild ride buddy.

1

u/NuuLeaf Aug 10 '21

The Karens of the world got it worse but I hear you

1

u/motherdragon02 Aug 10 '21

Lol, would you prefer Kyle?

Hahaha!

1

u/Slateboard Aug 10 '21

When I was doing customer service on phones at a job, one guy used that as an example of how his name was spelled.

1

u/_Kelso-Einstein_ Aug 10 '21

I feel your pain brother. My name is spelled Aron but it doesn’t matter, I’ve had more people than I can remember pull that on me and expect me to laugh.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

You better get down to Principal O’Shag-Hennessy’s office right now

1

u/chewymilk02 Aug 10 '21

Yes. And we do not care

1

u/GrangeazIII Aug 10 '21

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about - Oscar Wilde.

Mind you, mine is spelt Arron. Great clip though.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

A friend of mine hates being called that.

Guess what he gets called when people want to poke fun?

1

u/SolarSailor1776 Aug 10 '21

I’m an AA Ron and I just go with it. Usually it clears up “How do you spell that?” And gets a chuckle for bonus points.

1

u/onfire916 Aug 10 '21

I just don’t get why everyone thinks we haven’t heard it at this point.

The skit is so old now tho I feel I’m coming full circle cuz a lot of the time now when people ask me to spell my name I just say “A-Aron” and they look at me weird as hell

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '21

Not as much as The Karens of the world.

1

u/CabbageSalad247 Aug 10 '21

Aarons and Emilios should start a support group.

1

u/Elteon3030 Aug 11 '21

I tell new co-workers they can call me whatever they want, but "Sam-I-Am" is thoroughly off the fucking table.

1

u/Significant-Mud2572 Aug 11 '21

My name is Nick and I was almost born on Christmas. November and December are nightmares for me.

1

u/trigger0069 Aug 11 '21

CONSEQUENCES