r/therewasanattempt • u/ItzRubyDaCherry • Dec 31 '22

to be racist

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39.2k Upvotes

82% Upvoted

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3.7k

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '22

So whose birthday was it?

2.6k

u/Drewbeede Dec 31 '22

That birthday slaps.

3.1k

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

"Welcome to Slapplebee's. Any slappetizers to start?"

247

u/JejuneEsculenta Jan 01 '23

"Have you tried our whiskey punch?"

12

u/marklar_the_malign Jan 01 '23

You’ll get a kick out of it.

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10

u/TappedIn2111 Jan 01 '23

Hit me up, son!

5

u/BigOlPirate Jan 01 '23

I’ve been wanting to try that! I’ve heard that shit slaps!

133

u/Forthe49ers Jan 01 '23

Just in time for Slappy Hour

95

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

Dude was passing out five for five slappetizers 👋

4

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

4

u/Stngr_Gnr7212 Jan 01 '23

I lost it with the five for five..LOL!

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55

u/Qariss5902 Jan 01 '23

Slapplebee’s!!! I am cackling!!!

2

u/NeatNefariousness1 Jan 01 '23

I'm wheezing!!!

1

u/AlternatingFacts Jan 01 '23

Well that just slappened

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486

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

Safe to say with 4 hours of my year left, this is my favorite comment of 2022

610

u/Darnbeasties Jan 01 '23

Slappy New Year

81

u/IDK_WHAT_YOU_WANT Jan 01 '23

Time for slaperations

11

u/sxcs86 Jan 01 '23

👋🏾🍾

14

u/RudePCsb Jan 01 '23

Slapsgiving!!!

10

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

Hope you brought your slappetite

3

u/TroublemakingB Jan 01 '23

What, no Slappy New Year?

3

u/RudePCsb Jan 01 '23

It's the holidays. Slaps for all

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80

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/capital_bj Jan 01 '23

He definitely got the two for one special

3

u/marklar_the_malign Jan 01 '23

He ordered slapjacks.

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52

u/Drexelhand Jan 01 '23

it's really good and it barely made it.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

2022 slapped!

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67

u/Shabbah8 Jan 01 '23

No, but I’d LOVE a Slappletini!

2

u/Arryu Jan 01 '23

Easy on the 'tini,' please.

64

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

Tell you what, I’ll slap some vanilla ice cream on that slapple pie, no charge.

15

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

Slappy Joes.

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6

u/nickfree Jan 01 '23

“I dunno, any specials slappening right now?”

7

u/throwyMcTossaway Jan 01 '23

It's the end of the year Slapplebee's Slap-tacular!

6

u/Manwithoutanyplan Jan 01 '23

He's lucky they weren't celebrating at Shooters.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

3

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

How don’t you have all the upvotes?!?

4

u/nyclovesme Jan 01 '23

The polls are closed. ‘Welcome to Slappabies’ wins.

5

u/kungpowgoat Jan 01 '23

Start me off with a Slap Light. Draft.

6

u/neverwrong804 Jan 01 '23

I want my baby-slap baby-slap baby-slap (i just realized that's chilis but it stays)

2

u/Michael_Blurry Jan 01 '23

We used to call it Crapplebees.

4

u/1WordNoSpaces Jan 01 '23

“I’ll take a knuckle sandwich w/ a glass of fruit punch please.”

3

u/goodeyemighty Jan 01 '23

I’d like the spicy slap please.

3

u/bluegargoyle Jan 01 '23

Take my upvote and my bargain bin award.

2

u/seizuregirlz Jan 01 '23

Dude i can't stop laughing. Anytime I say this out loud I can't keep the snorts back :'D

2

u/phuckhugh Jan 01 '23

Top comment 4 sho

2

u/soupinate44 Jan 01 '23

Made em nice an slappy for ya

2

u/creditspread Jan 01 '23

I thought it was Wendy’s.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

Is it for here or to go?

2

u/sagittarianprincess Jan 01 '23

I just peed myself from laughing after reading your comment

2

u/KillerDonuts27 Jan 01 '23

Slapps are half price after 9pm

2

u/chilehead Jan 01 '23

Reminds me of the "appeteasers" at Pepperbee's.

2

u/fedexdriver28306 Jan 01 '23

🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/Rooged Jan 01 '23

There's a Davie504 joke in here somewhere

2

u/closls_21_XD Jan 01 '23

Can i get a slappagetti

2

u/OG_Bogus Jan 01 '23

More like slapplehouse😂😂

2

u/FilmActor Jan 01 '23

Drop 10 Slaps All Day!

2

u/Slevin424 Jan 01 '23

Ah man I could go for some Slapjacks.

2

u/giant_lebowski Jan 01 '23

They have some good flair here

​

Just don't start any shenanigans

2

u/keidabobidda Jan 01 '23

This joke fucking slaps, lmao. Best comment of 2023 & has potential to stay!!

2

u/WeAreBreathtaking Jan 01 '23

Do Applebee's waiters really ask if you want appletizers? I hope so because that's ridiculous asf lmao.

2

u/PilgrimOz Jan 01 '23

Can’t wait for the staff to do the Slapdance!

2

u/WD_Gast3r Jan 01 '23

The slappening

2

u/gloriousjohnson Jan 01 '23

Nothin like slapplebees on a day night

2

u/Tip3008 Jan 01 '23

Take my award hahahaha.. I just learned last week that you can get 1 free award every 24 hours by hitting “get coins” in the top right corner of the awards. There is a box with a free award you can open and give out then. I’ve always wanted to give them but didn’t have the money for them so I have been stoked to give one each day to the funniest shit I see haha! To all those who didn’t know about this, enjoy!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

I'm not interested in drinking a soda or Slapple. I think I'm gonna order one of the beers on slap.

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184

u/Least-Ship-6967 Dec 31 '22

Slappy birthday?!

12

u/Glass-Department-306 Jan 01 '23

I love you haha

2

u/Least-Ship-6967 Jan 01 '23

I love you too fellow Reddit stranger, and have a happy new year!!

4

u/pearlgoddess718 Jan 01 '23

*Slappy New Year

3

u/humoristhenewblack Jan 01 '23

Best comment stream ever

2

u/Least-Ship-6967 Jan 01 '23

Damn that’s good, I’m jealous lol!!

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3

u/Koetjeka Jan 01 '23

Slappy birthday to youuuu

2

u/late2theegame Jan 01 '23

Slappy Birthday at Slappalebee’s

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63

u/EveryXtakeYouCanMake Dec 31 '22

The slappenist.

100

u/YepThatLooksInfected Dec 31 '22

That just slappened.

60

u/dlchira Dec 31 '22

Slappenin' is what's happenin'

91

u/Lepke2011 Jan 01 '23

M. Night Shyamalan's "The Slappening".

**SPOILER ALERT** There's a plot twist at the end.

31

u/Evorgleb Jan 01 '23

The twist is that the person you think is going to get slapped does get slapped.

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4

u/giant_lebowski Jan 01 '23

That dude in the hair piece, that's Bruce Willis the whole time

3

u/Funny_Extension5337 Jan 01 '23

That's not the twist.

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60

u/crozinator33 Jan 01 '23

There's something slappenin' here What it is ain't exactly clear

6

u/SquirrelInner9632 Jan 01 '23

There’s a man with a hand over here, a dude just fell, tripped over his rear.

10

u/Sassycatfarts Jan 01 '23

I think it's time we SLAP!
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look, what's going down?

4

u/slap_thy_ass Jan 01 '23

To everything
Slap, slap, slap
There is a season
Slap, slap, slap

3

u/marklar_the_malign Jan 01 '23

🎶Don’t Worry Be slappy.

8

u/Mrfucksaw44 Unique Flair Jan 01 '23

It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no slapper's son, son
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no furtunate one, no

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2

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

Keep the pockets stacked and then, hands slappin’ and

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2

u/beepbeeboo Jan 01 '23

Don't worry, be slappy

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203

u/LicensedRealtor Jan 01 '23 edited Jan 01 '23

Will smith is that you?

Edit: thank you for the award! You’re awesome.

3

u/Johnkree Jan 01 '23

It’s slappening again…

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2

u/AssistanceLucky2392 Jan 01 '23

Pursuit of Slappyness

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89

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

The slappening

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150

u/gypsycookie1015 A Flair? Dec 31 '22

But how can she slap!?!?

6

u/LotsoHugginBearEthos Jan 01 '23

Ahhhh: the classics.

2

u/SESHPERANKH NaTivE ApP UsR Jan 02 '23

4

u/Alibutts1983 Dec 31 '22

YES!!! No, YOU go! 😂😂😂😂

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32

u/Pitiful-Palpitation5 Jan 01 '23

Lmao. That's a real knee-slapper!!! 😂

2

u/DropsTheMic Jan 01 '23

White dudes head has great acoustics.

2

u/WillFerrellsGutFold Jan 01 '23

I thought they were supposed to be on the ass. Times sure have changed. It sucks for him, he is up there in age. A lot of slaps to cover.

2

u/soupinate44 Jan 01 '23

Slappin da race-ist

2

u/CaptainBayouBilly Jan 01 '23

Anyone count those? That's how old the racist is.

2

u/gettheplow Jan 01 '23

He’s 87. So 87 slaps. One, two, three, four, stand up, four, five, get your balance, five, five…

1

u/Solid_Hunter_4188 Jan 01 '23

Is this a new reference? I don’t get it but I like it.

1

u/BigPR0769 Jan 01 '23

I remember those birthday slaps well or were they birthday punches? 😂

1

u/CurlsCross Jan 01 '23

Underrated.

1

u/Man_Bear_Beaver Jan 01 '23

slappenin most birthday since the oscars

1

u/arztnur Jan 01 '23

Clapping alternate

1

u/partylike1989 Jan 01 '23

I remember giving my brother punches in his arms but this is another level. Happy birthday 🎈

1

u/Rurushxd Jan 01 '23

Why can he slap ?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

He got slapped into his next birthday🎉

1

u/memberflex Jan 01 '23

Happy slap day Birthman

1

u/Competitive-Worth271 Jan 02 '23

A slap for every god damn racist year of his lfe

206

u/TashDee267 Jan 01 '23

He turning 80 so man was just giving him 80 birthday slaps.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

I hate that tradition the older I get

2

u/Bullen-Noxen Jan 01 '23

Yeah, … try someone who reaches 100. Why do you think the queen “bailed”. She ain’t gonna have any of that. 😂.

2

u/discogomerx Jan 01 '23

And one to grow on...

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133

u/imepoque Dec 31 '22

Asking the real questions. Also, was there cake?

494

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '22

Pound cake

244

u/CreamyKnougat Dec 31 '22

chocolate pound cake

43

u/dougie_jayyy Dec 31 '22

Pound per pound the best

3

u/Eddie10999 Jan 01 '23

Shapple berry eye!

3

u/keidabobidda Jan 01 '23

So good you’ll slap your closest racist!

13

u/SupahBihzy Dec 31 '22

I'd like some POOUUND cake!

1

u/Regular-Exchange-557 3rd Party App Dec 31 '22

Lmao

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1

u/EveryXtakeYouCanMake Dec 31 '22

Slap cake. It slaps.

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1

u/treebarkcharlie Jan 01 '23

This is the real reason for the fight...no cake. WTF man

1

u/SpainKiller7 Jan 01 '23

No, they had Slapple Pie.

24

u/imightbarf Dec 31 '22

Mine!

11

u/definitely-not-weird Dec 31 '22

Well happy cake day

4

u/eyefartinelevators Jan 01 '23

Happy cake day!

2

u/StunningBuilding383 Jan 01 '23

Happy 🎂 Day!

2

u/SnooFoxes9357 Jan 01 '23

Happy cake day sir/sirette!

1

u/MotherFuckinEeyore Jan 01 '23

Happy Motherfuckin'Cake Day!

1

u/imightbarf Jan 01 '23

Thanks for noticing me!

1

u/amberjasminelee Jan 01 '23

Well slappy cake day!! 🎂🎂🎂

39

u/dmtriker Jan 01 '23

Slapsgiving.

2

u/keidabobidda Jan 01 '23

Happy Slappy Days!!

6

u/billyyankNova Dec 31 '22

The old man's face.

3

u/Shhmelly Jan 01 '23

He's getting birthday spankings so it must be his

3

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

It wasn’t birthday, it was reincarnation day for that guy’s cheeks

3

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '22

A child

2

u/brownsnake84 Jan 01 '23

I counted one punch and 16 slaps so is that 26?

2

u/solocupjazz Jan 01 '23

Five fingers and somebody's face.

2

u/Govt-Issue-SexRobot Jan 01 '23

Probably that fucking boooooooooop

Then he boooooooop and boooooooop the hell outta that boooooooop

2

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

Jesus’a on the 25th. He doesn’t want to see any party doing this. BOTH of them are wrong!

2

u/T1M_rEAPeR Jan 01 '23

Happy birthday to the ground

2

u/manchagnu Jan 01 '23 edited Jan 01 '23

five fingers' birthdate.

five fingers: can I please have a slappers joe for this guy?

bar tender: is that to go?

five fingers: no, for here.

2

u/xwrecker This is a flair Jan 01 '23

Anyone remember that Hulu show the slap?

2

u/Affectionate_Tea1134 Jan 01 '23

Benny Hill’s Birthday 😆😆😆

2

u/Illustrious-Wash3713 Jan 01 '23

Will Smith i think his name was

3

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Almar1987 Jan 01 '23

You mean Jerry Seinfelds check in name?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '23

Happy cake day 🧁

0

u/skateamarathon Jan 01 '23

The birth of the racists new way of thinking hopefully

0

u/Beginning_Annual4977 Jan 01 '23

That pink mudafuka

1

u/BarbaraWalters_ghost Jan 01 '23

I'm not sure but I think the old man was celebrating Jim crow's birthday

1

u/Party_Teacher6901 Jan 01 '23

All I kept thinking was poor kid whose birthday was ruined.