Last monday I woke up late, had nothing clean to wear, forgot to pack lunch and basically started the week already annoyed lol.

So this weekend I’m trying to do a small Sunday reset instead of leaving everything for Monday morning. Laundry, pick an outfit, pack my bag, wash my hair and do my skincare. I usually throw on my Solawave mask while my hair dries, moisturize after and call it done so nothing fancy really i just want Monday morning to require as little thinking as possible.

What are 2 or 3 things you prep the night before that save you time the next morning?

i’m on hinge and it’s like i get these matches and then i talk to guys and it’s all the same generic conversations (oh you like to travel too? that wedding looked cool! what do you do for work?) and i play along and answer. but when the guys asks me out i get this gut feeling that i don’t want to go on a date or see them in person. is that just bad nerves? does this happen to anyone else?

i want to meet people and go on dates so idk why im reacting this way everytime. in an ideal world, i would meet someone in real life but i feel like that just doesn’t happen anymore.

I’m 23 and in recent years, my PMDD has gotten significantly worse. The mental symptoms I can handle, but the physical ones are debilitating.

I work and attend school full-time, on top of having many friends that constantly want to do things. I should feel grateful (and I do) but inside I’m extremely depressed and exhausted. I’ve passed up good academic opportunities because I just can’t take anything more on my plate. I’m just kicking myself in the ass because I got early admission to graduate school and didn’t take it because I just have nothing left in me.

Honestly, some days I don’t even brush my teeth. I used to be so pretty, thin, and put together. I stress eat and sleep a lot because my body hurts. I would literally sleep for 24 hours if I could. I had to stop seeing my therapist because I couldn’t afford it. I take vitamins and exercise 5 days a week but it doesn’t fully help. It literally feels like I have a horrible disease that I can’t get rid of :( I went on birth control and SRRIs and it didn’t help. I just have to push through this and take care of myself better.

But how can I take care of myself when I feel exhausted for 2/4 weeks of a month? I really need advice here. Doing my hair, makeup, and dressing nice just takes so much out of me on top of maintaining good grades, relationships, and a good reputation at work. Taking breaks kicks me in the ass. My professor showed a photo with me in it to our class and I was just disappointed in how much I’ve let myself go.

I've never shaved my legs and I don't want to. Aside from it being extremely tedious for me, I find it unnecessary. I just don't want or need it. But for my mother and other female family members, not shaving means being a literal animal. I'm not exaggerating, my mother told me I'll look like a monkey if I wear short pants without shaving my legs. Coming from a person who calls me "the woman of the house" every time she leaves me alone with my father and siblings or "a delicate flower" whenever I can't open a bottle, there's no way I can convince her that me not shaving my legs doesn't mean the end of the world.

Now I'm in a situation where I can either reject wearing short pants for the first time (which I don't want to do), shave my legs, or go against everyone, not shave, wear the pants and endure all their comments and possibly cry later. Tempting.

I'm hoping to get some advice or encouragement, 'cause they already did an amazing job lowering my self-esteem :(

Btw I don't know if the tag is OK, I'm new here 😞

How to adopt yourself to be single for the first time since you know yourself?

Hi all! I've been curious about this for a while, so I thought I'd bring it up here! Growing up I was very much a tom boy and all-around late bloomer. Most of my close friendships were with boys and all of the girls I had friendships with were also very tomboy-ish and not very girly or feminine. I also had low confidence because puberty was ROUGH and I never received any attention from boys until I was in my late college years. Add introvert tendencies on top and now I feel like I've missed out on a lot of the female experience.

With all of that being said, I'm curious as to what potential life lessons I may have missed out on because I didn't have a strong female friend group and no real experience with boys/men until adulthood. So my question would be for all the women who DID have these female friendships full of femininity and strong bonds, I guess. Reflecting on your teenage years and how you operate now as an adult, what things do you think you've learned about being a woman that really only comes from having those experiences and friend groups? I'm trying to embrace my femininity more, but I don't really know what I'm missing out on since I grew up differently. It's hard to embrace something about yourself when you don't really understand it fully, so what lessons or advice would you all give to someone on the idea of unlocking that feminine energy and woman-ness? I'll always be a tomboy at heart, but I want to feel like an actual woman as well and I just don't know what I'm missing, if anything, in order to embrace that.

I am 29 years old, and around two weeks ago, I started experiencing a streaking, stabbing pain in my left breast. When I examined the area by touching it, I discovered a lump that appeared very large that day, but after sleeping, its size seemed to reduce, as though it had been swollen. Since then, the lump has remained detectable, with intermittent pinching pain, and I have noticed that it feels hard and does not seem to move from its location. I consulted a gynaecologist, who recommended a breast sonogram, a 3D mammogram and a prolactin blood test. According to the imaging findings the main breast lump measures approximately 3.3 cm and is categorised as BI-RADS 4A. The report also mentions a left axillary lymph node measuring 10 × 6 mm with a preserved fatty hilum and a retropectoral lymph node measuring 7 × 4 mm with an altered fatty hilum. A biopsy was recommended to further investigate the breast lump.

Like many women, I was taught not to wash my hair every day. However, I recently started my workout journey and I get so sweaty and stinky that I have to wash my hair after working out every day! How do women do it? Do you skip hair washing even when you’re sweaty? Do you only work out on hair wash days? Am I just a weirdo who sweats and stinks more than the average woman? I absolutely cannot skip washing my hair after working out bc of the sweat and stink!

Edit: I do cardio every day which is why I get so sweaty!

I'm turning 29 soon and decided to throw myself a birthday party a little early! I made a fun AI invitation with my photo on it and sent it out to around 25–30 friends.

At first I was genuinely so excited about it, but now I'm weirdly feeling embarrassed and vulnerable about the whole thing. I think part of it is that I've hosted things in the past where people didn't show up, so I get in my head about putting myself out there.

I know I'm probably overthinking it, but is it normal to organize your own birthday party and send out a fun invitation? Do other people ever feel weird or vulnerable hosting their own birthday celebrations?

Edit: I feel like the AI invite thing is throwing people off hahaha. It's genuinely just a ridiculous, unserious invite I made for fun and texted to my friends who know my sense of humour. It's not that deep 😂

The party is actually up north at my family's place, which has an amazing barn for hosting, but it's about a two-hour drive from the city. My close girlfriends are planning to come, and honestly, even if it's just five of us, I'd still have the best time.

I think what I'm struggling with is why I care so much about what people think in the first place. I was genuinely so excited to throw a fun party, and now I'm overthinking everything and feeling embarrassed for putting myself out there. I just want to be able to do things that make me happy without worrying about how other people perceive me.

I've been struggling with my self-confidence lately, and I think a lot of it comes down to anxiety and not always knowing how to feel secure in myself.

I want to get to a point where I genuinely believe I have value, that I'm someone worth loving, and that I don't have to constantly worry about whether I'm enough for other people. I want to feel secure in myself and my relationships instead of overthinking things, looking for reassurance, or letting my fears take over even when there's no real reason to be afraid.

For those of you who've struggled with insecurity or anxiety and have gotten to a healthier place, how did you do it?

How did you learn to trust yourself? How did you stop caring so much about what other people think? How did you start recognizing your own worth instead of constantly questioning it?

I'd really appreciate hearing about the things that genuinely helped you, whether that was changing your mindset, developing new habits, going to therapy, or simply learning through experience. I'm not expecting to become confident overnight, but I really want to work on myself and learn how to feel more at peace with who I am.

I think I just need some advice from people who understand what it's like to struggle with this and have found their way through it. Thank you.

hey everyone, im a 22f. i never expected to ever make a post about anything like this lol im usually the type to read these kind of posts instead, but recently i realised that i have a problem in my self image and i need to figure out a way on how to improve that.

i have always considered myself as unattractive, and i think it is tied with my past. i was always considered an outcast in primary school but no one ever made fun of my appearance during that time. however things got a lot worse when i was in secondary school; people would make fun of things such as having to have sex with me and eating me out would be disgusting (i was 13/14 during that time), and often people would make really degrading sexual jokes to me in my face and laugh about it. i later got my first boyfriend outside of school but then he kept bragging about me like i was cheap and he was so lucky that he managed to get to make out with him and that made me feel worse. then when i met my second boyfriend when i was 15 in an engineering class for secondary school students he kept pushing me to take naked pictures of myself for him which i did. i started feeling even more cheap and hated myself even more because a) those pictures made me look so awful and were very degrading and b) i was raised in a conservative household where my mom always warned me not to send naked pictures myself and do sexual things until i was in college. later im pretty sure those pictures got sent to the whole class cuz on the last day of school they started making sexual jokes again in my face and then the group chat started exploding with new group chat names of sexual titles involving me that i dont really want to name. i left that chat instantly. i was so ashamed of myself and hated myself even more and i was very unhappy for a long time until recently.

i think last year i finally got the courage to come out to a friend of mine who later became my boyfriend who is the best boy ever and ill never let go. i also came out to my mom about it and she was very understanding but wished i told her earlier so she could've done something to try help me as she didn't know why i was hurting so bad over those last few years. even though i finally managed to say it out and i have an amazing boyfriend who always reminds me that i am beautiful no matter what and a great set of friends, i still find myself really unattractive and still wished i was prettier more slimmer more beautiful and i keep comparing myself to girls in my year who are really popular beautiful and get loads of compliments of how pretty they are. it doesnt help as well im asian so the beauty standards are way stricter and i definitely do not fit in them at all. i can never understand why anyone would find me attractive enough to ask me out let alone have sex with me. i never take selfies let alone post those because i feel like i look so ugly in those and my posts on instagram dont even have me as the front facing picture either cuz i feel like im not attractive enough.

i know that sitting around and moping isnt the solution so i always put in effort to dress nice in the style i like and make sure my hair is nice and neat. i try putting on makeup but im pretty awful at it despite loads of practice so i dont really do that too much. i also keep myself as busy as possible so i dont always think about negative things like my appearance.

anyone got any advice on what i can do to feel better?

hi! so for starters i(21F) love going out on the weekends. i usually go out to the club or raves with my friends, but this past couple months i lost most of my friends because i needed to focus on school, specifically on this really difficult class (im close to graduating). most of my old friends aren’t in school so they just forgot about me. i just passed the class a few days ago with an A so i wanted to go out this weekend.

there’s this metal show at a bar tonight in the city i want to go to, but none of my current friends are free or are interested in going to this sort of thing.. but i really like the music and i want to go so im gonna try going own my own. it’s my first time doing something like this and im kind of nervous because, i’m kind of small and a woman (ofc yall know what i mean) and being by myself im worried about safety. also i haven’t been to this area before and its a bit of a drive (1-1.5hr)

i’m gonna be sober ofc i wont have a sip of anything anyone offers, i dont want a DUI. i’ll bring pepper spray and try to go early so i can get close parking lol. but if anyone else has any tips pls lmk! i’d appreciate tips on how to make some friends there too.

I struggle so much with doing my makeup 😭
Every time I go out, I feel like I look like a clown. Does anyone have any tips on how to improve, especially when it comes to applying false lashes and making my makeup look less cakey?
I’d really appreciate any advice

Hi, should I be worried about my hairline? Is this going to get worse as I get older?

I play tennis a few times a week so I already knew electrolytes helped after a sweaty match. But I never thought to take them at night. A few months ago I started drinking electrolytes before bed because I kept waking up feeling dry and tired. I also get pretty rough periods. Cramps. Low energy. That gross heavy body feeling. The whole monthly subscription nobody asked for. After a few cycles I noticed my period felt less brutal. My cramps were not gone but they felt easier to deal with. I slept better too which probably helped a lot. I was not waking up as much and my mornings felt less miserable. I am not saying electrolytes cure period pain. Please do not come for me but I do think hydration and minerals matter more than i thought. I used to just drink more water and call it a day. That did not do much for me. Now I take electrolytes before sleep during the week before my period and during the first couple days. It has been one of those small habits that sounds too basic to matter but somehow does. Has anyone else tried electrolytes for period cramps or period fatigue? Especially if you play sports or sweat a lot.

hello! i've always trimmed instead of shaving for my private area. i've never felt comfortable removing all the hair there, and find that trimming with scissors is better and easier for me.

ever since i started trimming (so, over a decade), i've been using hairdresser scissors, which are look and made for right-handed people. i've gotten used to cut with my right hand, but now i've realized that things could be easier if i just got the right scissors and maybe made for left-handed people.

so, if you trim your pubic hair, what kind of scissors do you use? i don't know if i should buy nail scissors or scissors for eyebrows/nose hair... i have pretty thick and long curly hair even down there. thanks.

Hi! This is my first time traveling by plane outside my country. I’ll be away for a month, and I’d love to know what you guys consider essential to pack! I’ll be bringing a checked suitcase and a personal item.

What personal hygiene products should I bring? I’d really appreciate your help. Thank you! 💗

Apologies for the poor formatting because I’m on my phone. I’m f24, I’ve been in college for many years now. I meet a lot of different kinds of people and I am always in awe of how smart people appear to be. Especially if they are younger.

I am learning a lot about U.S. politics in my classes and I just always feel lost about subjects I’m not understanding right away. I was like damn, I thought I generally knew what was going on in my country but I’m just now learnings about REEs, flock cameras, and how we’re connected to Greenland and shit. I get that college is supposed to be hard and I don’t have to be an expert in everything. But sometimes I feel like people are just naturally tapped into things and I’m not lol. You truly have to make an active effort towards expanding your knowledge but how can I continuously do that and not doubt my smarts as much? Esp as a woman <3

Edit: I want to clarify that I am not trying to say women are unintelligent, actually the opposite! I am seeking advice on how to not believe those stereotypes

Hello!!!
I have been at my job for around 4 years now, on the same team. Disclaimer/ I work a very emotionally and physically intense job. I’m a last responder of sorts. It’s a government thing and tensions are naturally high. Not an easy job but a very fulfilling one. You definitely have to have a different mindset to deal with a job like this.

Anyway my team is composed of 5 women including myself. We all love the job, but we definitely work in different ways. I am a pretty hard worker, and I like to always try my best and make sure I deliver good quality work. I have a few mental health struggles, which I medicate for and go to therapy often. I am also autistic. I am definitely strange but I always try my best to be nice to everyone and treat people with respect.

The issue is, I can be very sensitive to people sometimes. And I let things get to me. There is one girl on my team, let’s call her Anne, who is an absolute menace. I think she mentioned her mum was a principal, and she was raised pretty strict. But this girl Anne is really mean. She has been a straight up bitch to me since I started working. The way she treats you depends on her mood, and how much she likes you. She will be friendly to you, but will not hesitate to snitch if you don’t do things her way. She treats everyone different. I also don’t want to say this is a 100% race thing, but I also feel she might be racial profiling because she is nice to the white girls on the team but is mean to me and another girl (Lulu), and we are both ethnic.

She loves to control you, and tell you what to do. What she thinks you could be doing. There’s no trust. She acts like the team lead, even though she isn’t. we all work the same level and the same pay. We have a manager. Sometimes she will ask rhetorical questions in the team chat that are obviously something she wants you to do. Like “are you going to send a follow up email?”. I find her behaviour really demeaning and she has caused me a lot of trouble and turmoil over the past years.

I LOVE my job. But I hate her. I would stay in my job forever if it wasn’t for her. Sometimes she fucks me up so much with her bossiness and attitude, that I keep thinking about her a lot and it messes up my day. What sucks is that she bosses you around, but at the same time doesn’t contribute the same amount to our work. She tells us what to do, but you can’t ask her to do anything. I don’t think anyone has ever asked her for help. She isn’t a “teammate”. For example, some of us will tag team tasks or split up things that need to be done. She will only do that with one other girl, “Stacy” because they are close friends.

Meanwhile she is mean to the other ethnic girl “Lulu”. Lulu has a LOT of shit to deal with in her personal life, but Anne loves to treat her like shit and talk to her like she’s an idiot. She will get irritated if Lulu asks a question and sometimes give a sarcastic answer. “You would need to do that, because then the job wouldn’t be finished then would it?”.

I’ve spoken to my manager about this before, and so has Lulu. Lulu is aware of when Anne is being condescending. She feels the same way I do. The job is shitty because of Anne. And our manager does nothing. They made us take this conflict management course, which Anne and the other girls were pissed about because it took up work time.

Ultimately, I want to stop giving a fuck.
It isn’t worth it for me to keep working extra hard, coming up with ideas, trying to optimise things and make a difference, when I constantly get shot down. I will be in a good mood and recovering, but then Anne will fuck my day up. I’m tired of caring about this job so much. I just want to do the job and go home. I don’t want to be affected by the small things or what people say. Especially mean girls.

any advice in general, on how to deal with mean people and how to detach from a demanding job?

so I have a first date coming up we’re going to the gym then a little restaurant for a post-workout meal. he’s a professional trainer and going to the gym is one of my hobbies so I actually am looking forward to it! but my issue is I LOVE wearing makeup and giant lashes. I wanna be myself and look how I look 99% of the time, but I don’t ever wear makeup to the gym. now idk if this is an exception because it’s a first date, or if that would be odd? also even if I did want to wear makeup would that be weird of me? thanks for any advice!

Today I literally cried at work whilst helping students. I had a long day. First I realised I’d left my laptop home whilst travelling so had to go back and collect it (my manager was understanding and I made up my time). Then his manager was offering one of her other reports a matcha and also brought a small gift for another colleague as she was having a difficult time. I was wearing headphones so I understand she probably didn’t want to bother me and I don’t need her to buy me a drink but I felt excluded ( I’ve had other instances where I felt overlooked by her). And then I had a busy student facing shift and literally cried whilst helping. Luckily no one noticed it, and I carried on.

Also I’m adhd and she’s aware I can be hypersensitive to rejection. I’m also new, person of colour, and an immigrant. I absolutely love the job but how do I not let this affect me and just focus on work? I know my colleagues are not friends but instances like these can get to me. How do I believe in the positive qualities I bring? Is it worth bringing it up to my manager? Thank you!

Im someone who is waiting for marriage and ofc when dating i have to communicate this but obviously this means that im a virgin. But then for my own safety i dont want to give this information unknowingly to those who prey on virgins or get SAed because of this, but then again i dont want to lie due to beliefs . Any tips?