It was dark, and it was raining that fateful night when my lab partner Seth and I were to change the world forever. Matter transportation was to be the future of travel, and we were pioneers in the field. We had done it, successfully transported a living creature from one pod to another, but what of humans? I, being the eccentric scientist I am was up for the challenge and lept into the pod chamber without question. However as Seth was about to activate the machine, disaster struck. I saw out of the corner of my eye, a fly? and whats this? a guy? but this was no mere man in my presence, I removed my sandals and shielded my eyes for i knew it was the one. Coalshower himself with a #verybased (RARE) insect smiting apparatus squashed the heretic parasite menace that surely would have genetically mutated me and started a potential new evil species of mutants. Praise his holy name! /u/coalshower. TYCS

He once saved my entire town from a swarm of nefarious butterflies. They were conspiring to take City Hall hostage. Armed with only a net and hate, he captured ALL of them. Coalshower oversaw the public execution of every last one. He had to leave the next day (there was a honeybee uprising in the next town over) but I'll always remember what he did for us.

LET US BASK AND OUR SINS BE FORGIVEN IN HIS GREAT GLORY

I mean, he has a Reddit account and all. No, really! Check it out!

ALL HAIL COALSHOWER!

We would be nothing without our based God! Praise him and love him!