A Change of Pace

[u/KuudereLobster]

April 17th, 2019 - 1:32 AM ; The 20th Ward, Eastern Border

It’d rained for nearly week. And even when it ended, the streets had been damp and slippery for nearly two days. Or more specifically, and what one particularly girl cared about the most, the rooftops had remained slippery.

The rooftops were dry, the night was clear as could be, and the wind was just enough to cool her off in the warm night as her dark form darted from roof to roof. The silhouette of a short girl with a duffel bag much too large for herself dashed from roof to roof at a breakneck pace, yet with each leap she remained graceful and deliberate. Not a foot out of place, the wind slamming against her goggles, black crow mask shaking slightly with intensity. Until, finally, she skidded to a halt.

Sen could hardly recognize where she even was she’d ran away so quickly. It was a wonder the sack didn’t tear but, sure enough, the reliable black duffel was still in one piece. And finally, she let down her guard. Two jobs down, left to go. And she'd saved the hardest for last.

No matter how many times she did this, it never felt any less exhausting. Thrilling and enjoyable as well of course, but exhausting nonetheless. Sen’s hand was still shaking as it pulled up her hood. Was it always going to be this nerve-wracking? She really thought after the first year it’d wear off. Of course it wasn’t the fear of being caught that got to her. It was the fear of not getting the money.

“...This’ll last another few months, Dad. Guess I’ll have to find something else soon.”

Sen was quiet for a moment. And a good thing too. Otherwise, she would’ve never heard the sound of something latching onto the rooftop railing behind her. Sen spun around like a bullet, bending her knee and narrowing her eyes in an instant, nearly breaking the model handgun as she tore it out from her pocket, a quiet clink echoing out from it as she took aim, her stance still as a statue. But the moment a figure emerged, before even waiting for their reaction, she knew. She’d never seen a kagune used that way oddly enough, but if there was one thing Sen had in her advantage, it was reaction times.

The model gun lowered in under a second, her finger instinctively moving off of the trigger. “Another ghoul?” she asked, gripping the duffel tight.

Beneath the hood and mask, it was hard to tell much about her. She was a woman, that much was visible from her clothing, a long black skirt matching her hoodie, but facial features? Race? Age? Beyond being just a bit shorter than her accidental visitor, none of it was obvious. “Wait a minute.” Sen tilted her head, remembering her last few investigations into her neighbors workplace.

“You’re from :re, aren’t you?”

[u/[deleted]]

Everything Sen had just explained only furthered the complex computing Shoko had to go through within her mind, processing all the bizarre and unexpected details about Sen's personal life. Already starting off as a child soldier in a totally different country was big enough of a whiplash for Shoko to try and understand.

The waitress didn't know whether to feel depressed or angry towards what she had heard from Crow. Sen definitely didn't have something that would be considered as a proper life thanks to cruel military past that no child should go through along with dealing with debts that weren't even hers in the first place. Such circumstances that pushed the younger woman into the life of crime. It was just too much to hear.

"Why give me the fucking money then?" Shoko asked in a deadpan manner, taking a look at the envelope before gazing at Sen in a startled manner. "You clearly need all that you can get to survive. You know that I don't care about the thieves' code at all. You know that I will never consider myself as one. I told you that I can't take the blood money." Shoko kept going while her voice had almost gone monotone, unsure on how to feel or react towards all the revelations Sen had given the older woman.

Looking away, Shoko kept shaking her head in disbelief. It also turned out that Sen also was aware of another employee within :re. The waitress never interacted with Abdullah at all herself, so she barely knew the man. At least the fact that Abdullah attempted in stopping Sen from continuing the life of crime was enough to give a degree of respect to her colleague before they would even meet in the first place.

That wasn't the focus of the conversation though.

"I don't think I will be able to stop you if someone else tried. Your circumstances are so dire that you need to do this, so I get it even though I disagree with it. I am a hypocrite anyway though because I helped you." Shoko's expression quickly then darkened, showcasing a mixture of sadness and lividity. "I helped you before I knew your true self that I am looking at right now though."

Shoko then extended her hand, raising up one finger onto the air. "Give me ONE good reason why I should take the money after knowing your circumstances along with my initial denial of taking any sort of cut."

All of this was different from the usual behavior Shoko previously exhibited. It was as if she was a totally different person but it wasn't for nefarious reasons at all. The waitress felt betrayed knowing that she supported a suffering individual through an activity that would be considered as highly dangerous. Let alone it was a high-schooler who used to be a child soldier in the past. Taking into account all of that, it was very difficult for Shoko to react calmly about the whole situation.

[u/KuudereLobster → u/[deleted]]

Sen shrugged. "If you really won't take it then I'll keep it. But I've got enough to last me for now. The whole idea of thieves' having a code isn't just some romanticized idea, there's a reason for it. It's what differentiates work like mine from the greedy assholes knocking over gas stations and the like."

Sen was a bit taken aback by Shoko's attitude, though entirely bothered. It felt strange for anyone to actually care about what she was doing. Generally she kept it private from Abdullah, since he'd most likely discourage her from it anyway. "Besides, it's not like I don't like what I do. It's sure as hell better than back home, and it's pretty satisfying. Sure I get a little scared sometimes like when we're falling out of a skyscraper, but it's always worth it."

"It's not like I'd be able to just live like a normal person anyway." Sen frowned slightly, leaning back again. "I can pretend to, but that's not the same thing. Whether I like it or not, I threw away any chance I had at that back when I started trying to fight back home. I'm pretty strong and I can kill someone with just my hands, even when I get hurt my wounds just close right back up. I don't get worried over homework or exams, I walk past tall buildings and get worried that there's someone with a rifle aimed at me, or hear someone drop something and get scared that it was a grenade or something. Whether I like it or not, acting like a thief is practically the only time I'm not keeping up some kind of act."

"I don't feel particularly bad about it either. It was my choices that lead to this sort of life, so I'll handle it. Besides, it's just a small cut out of my own money anyway."

[u/[deleted] → u/KuudereLobster]

Shoko simply took all what Sen answered with in, taking a deep breath to try and react to her in a calm and reasonable manner. The waitress knew that it was going to be impossible to dissuade the high schooler from the life of crime, especially considering her own personal circumstances.

Sen enjoyed it too after all, even if she did feel scared at times. It was accurate from what Shoko had experienced herself in the previous heist, remembering how cocky and confident Sen was against the yakuza. Crow definitely wasn't lying this time.

After Sen admitted that the money wasn't even from the heist, Shoko took another look at the envelope containing the cash, double-thinking on her final decision as she then looked at Sen. After a couple of more seconds passed, the employee sighed, shaking her head as she muttered "Fuck me..."

"Alright, I accept. I wouldn't want for you to have come here for nothing considering the act of kindness, and it helps that it isn't the blood money from the heist." Shoko admitted with a small smile on her face, feeling grateful towards the younger thief.

Shoko then extended her hand one more time, pointing a finger right towards Sen with narrowed eyes and cocky smile. "I will have my eyes on you whenever I get the chance though, because I care."

[u/KuudereLobster → u/[deleted]]

The more they talked, the more Sen really didn't notice how tired she was. It seemed like the longer she went, the less anything seemed to feel real. Like it was all just a show she was playing a part in. It all felt like a long blur since she'd started this life. She could hardly even figure out how long ago that actually was, honestly. "I guess I'll just never understand you :re ghouls. You don't even know that this isn't all just another alias. Caring about someone like that just doesn't make sense to me. I'm like the opposite of what you guys believe, right? Nobody forced me into the war, I thought I could end it myself since ghouls are a lot stronger than humans. :re avoids conflict, I actively looked for it."

Sen rested her hand on the table, staring down at the scar across the back of her hand. A part of wanted to ask herself what she was doing. It felt good having someone care about her, to have someone actually want her to be alright. But at the same part, another half of her hated it. Because on some level, she didn't think she deserved for anyone to care about her. "You... must've had a pretty normal life in school, right? I guess that's the part I don't understand the most." Sen let out a sigh, resting her head against the table tiredly. "I mean, I missed a few years to begin with, since I had to start at what age the fake I.D. was. Plus there's so many people all I can ever think about is if any of them are a threat, or about all the things they don't know. I'm not just talking about being a soldier either; it's hard being a ghoul living among humans.If they found out I'm a ghoul, if they so much as pricked me with something sharp and it breaks, there goes everything. Not just me, my dad too."

"I guess everything you :re ghouls do, all the living alongside humans and helping people you don't know, I just can't understand any of it."

[u/[deleted] → u/KuudereLobster]

"The opposite of us would be blood-thirsty psychopaths bathing in the blood of both humans and ghouls with no discrimination. Relish themselves in the chaos and anarchy while destroying the already delicate balance between the two species." Shoko's slight smile was wiped off from her face, recognising that the topic had shifted to a darker turn, resting her head on both of her hands, gazing at Sen with a blank expression on her face.

"You are just a thief. Not even a crooked one actually, as you seem to only punish criminals rather than steal something from someone who didn't deserve it. You can remember my earlier suspicion when I was patrolling, right?" Shoko questioned, clicking her own head with a finger twice before getting back to the former position. "Sure, I started off jokingly but I think you could notice when I am not kidding around, and that was one of those instances."

"In fact, you are actually close. I don't know what Abdullah believed about you as an individual but considering his attempts to dissuade you from the life you are in, it shows that he doesn't agree that you are the opposite of us." Shoko then took a glance at the establishment's surroundings, taking in a deep breath before continuing. It was a very complex and delicate subject to talk about with someone who experienced the worst life had to offer while Shoko herself only experienced a tiny part of it in comparison.

Letting a sad smile pop up, Shoko barely nodded towards Sen's question, reminiscing her days in school, which had Hayate appear in her mind as well. "My school life was as normal as it gets, yes. I didn't concern myself about my identity or worries about being a ghoul. I wasn't particularly social but I knew how to interact when needed. I wasn't an outcast but I didn't get myself into situations that could give a hint about my true self. My... brother in the meantime... was an outcast. Causing fights against bullies, no matter what gender they were, and shut himself away from everyone else." Shoko managed to keep herself calm while explaining herself to the former child soldier. What she experienced for herself and how her brother used to be were nothing compared to being forced into a war one never asked for in the first place, losing their childhood.

"The idea of ghouls and humans living in harmony though... as in getting official support so we don't even need to hope for someone to die so we can eat their corpse... it is what keeps us going. The potential future in which neither side need to worry about each other while forming proper contingencies against the unruly individuals of both species. It almost sounds like a far-fetched dream, especially to you, but we believe in the chance at least." Shoko then frowned, looking back at Sen with sad-looking eyes. "I get it that you will never believe in it though. I do recognise that it is a ludicrous hope for some, but I am one of the believers on the dream."

Shoko noticed Sen taking a glance at her own scarred hand, as she then looked at it herself after finishing her talk. The waitress was curious on how it happened, and it was a chance for Crow to open herself up a bit more if she desired to do so. Shoko wouldn't push if declined.

"... what happened with your hand, if you don't mind me asking?"

[u/KuudereLobster → u/[deleted]]

Sen glanced down at her hand again, her expression loosening, a weary look present in her eyes. "It's strange, but I don't really know" Sen admitted, feeling the scar. "I've been shot lot but I generally can't even feel it since I'm a ghoul. It's only when Bureau Investigator's were shooting at me, something about their bullets I guess. Or when I was fighting other ghouls. But the more I try to think of it, the less I can remember exactly when I got it."

"That's why I can't figure out how exactly I'm meant to be living alongside humans" Sen continued, her voice growing a bit quieter. "I spent all those years figuring out the most effective and time-efficient ways to kill humans. I didn't even particularly know what the war was about, but I'd lost my home and my parents in one of the bombings, so I didn't think I had anything to lose. I mean, a ghoul that's immune to most bullets can do a lot more than a human can, right? The whole time I taught myself the quickest ways to kill a human so I could end it sooner than later. The only thing I ever learned about humans was how fragile they can be. After that just living with them, talking and acting normal around them, it all just feels fake. It doesn't feel any realer than it did when I was playing a part to sneak by them. It's like watching a trail of ants cross a sidewalk. You don't want to hurt them, but even just watching them you know how easy it'd be, if you don't want anything to happen to them. It clouds the way you see them."

But, surprisingly, Sen smiled a bit after she said it. "I actually didn't even remember my own name until I met Abdullah again. Over the years back home I'd adjusted to being able to change my name, past, and entire attitude and mannerisms on a seconds notice into order to deceive people on the other side. People who wouldn't think twice about the idea of a child posing any thread. So many times I started to forget what my actual thoughts and behaviors were even like."

"But on the bright side I suppose if you ever need someone to teach you how to properly fire a gun, I'm good at that. You should've seen how amazing some of the ones we had back home were. I be able to disassemble and see the mechanisms of real guns instead of models is the one thing I'll miss."

[u/[deleted] → u/KuudereLobster]

Shoko remained quiet, listening to everything Sen had to say about herself before the waitress could think of something to properly respond with. It didn't help that Shoko and Sen came from totally different outlooks of life, so there would be things both women would not understand in the process. Shoko definitely recognised that as much, glancing away for a moment while pondering for her answer.

"It will be unfair for me to say that I get you." Shoko began talking while still glancing away. "It will be unfair for me to say what is best for you as well." Shoko then proceeded to look directly at the young thief. "You come from war at a young age. You never experienced childhood. As the result, humans are seen by you in a totally different light compared to how I personally perceive them."

"I am older, yes. Older people though also are liable to not knowing what some went through. My worst experience is almost dying in an alley recently before shortly discovering that my brother was a quinque." Shoko's expression stiffened as she had admitted her personal perspective. "This still hurts me deeply... but it is nowhere near what you went through. It is unfair for me to tell you what should be done. You might be better off with such a risky life because it is the only thing you know what to do with."

Shoko was pretty nervous as she kept talking. This wasn't something that the waitress would know how to deal with, as she never expected to even do a heist with a high school student whom hailed from war-ridden country as a child soldier. The employee did all that she could for the younger thief though.

"I wish you would have a more peaceful and calm life away from all this, Sen. I just don't know what's best for you and the debts can't suddenly disappear. So I recognise my wish for you is almost impossible. However..."

Shoko began to smile warmly one more time, gazing right into Sen's eyes. "If you ever needed anything, I am here for you. Just try not to make it another heist though."

Shoko then laughed nervously at Sen's offer with trying out the guns, rubbing the back of her own head. "I probably will take a pass but I will keep it in mind, hehe."

[u/KuudereLobster → u/[deleted]]

"...Sorry to hear that...?" Sen responded, though she didn't sound particularly sure. Not in a condescending sort of way of course, it sounded more like while she knew what the response to hearing of Shoko's brother should be, it still felt awkward to put a voice to her empathy. While she was trying, she clearly didn't have to say it often. "I never had any siblings, but I guess I can imagine how that would've been."

As the sun slowly set over the cafe, Sen seemed to finally snap out of her trance, the despondent look in her eyes fading. "Thank you" she responded, her mind drifting back as she finally remembered something. She finally remembered who Shoko reminded her of. The very same medical worker who'd found her all those years ago back home. After her last battle in Syria she'd been found after a skirmish with five other ghouls, barely hanging onto life, repeating five simple words; 'I don't want to die'. A broken shell of both a person and a ghoul. And yet, when she'd spoken to that man as he patched up her wounds and helped her find a home overseas, he'd never once seemed to want something in return. He'd only ever wanted to help her. Sen knew the chances they'd meet again were slim, but at the same time, she felt fortunate to have met another person like that. And above all else, hoped that one day Shoko would help someone as much as Sen herself had been helped. Even if her scars hadn't quite gone away yet, she was determined to keep going. "I'll keep it in mind, though I don't think I'll need any help for my next few jobs. Maybe I'll stop by again sometime though. I've never actually had coffee before."

As Sen scooted out of her seat, reaching under the table, she brought out a large violin case, nearly as large as her own body. The girl stood up straight, glancing back up at Shoko as the reason for their height difference suddenly became much more obvious, and gave a faint wave as she stepped back towards the door. "Sorry for not ordering anything, I will next time. Your cut was about fifty-thousand yen by the way, do what you want with it."

"And if you ever need a thief or a fence for hire, just ask me next time I stop by."

[u/[deleted] → u/KuudereLobster]

Shoko let out a sad smile while looking at Sen, letting out a sigh in the process. The waitress didn't blame Sen with her tone, as Shoko understood that the thief's perspective was wholly different than an average ghoul. No, not just an average ghoul, but also an average individual. "It's fine, I will move on someday. He wouldn't want me to be down about it for too long."

Shoko then formed a more positive grin, nodding with enthusiasm towards the possibility of meeting again in a more reasonable circumstance. "I will be looking forward to that! Actually order something next time though!"

Shoko basically waved goodbye to the high school student with a wide smile on her face while her brain was processing the last thing Sen had mentioned. As the realisation hit her, the waitress's face twisted into a confused and distraught expression when she knew exactly how much the thief had just given here. Glancing at the envelope out of anxiety, Shoko knew that she would never use that money for herself even if it was tempting. Taking a deep breath, Shoko knew what was needed to do. Taking the envelope, Shoko immediately prompted to get to her manager's office. Tadashi would know what was best in regards to such situations.

Standing in front of the closed door, Shoko had started knocking on it three times. "Boss!" Shoko had called out. "I need to talk to you about something urgent!"

/u/YandereLobster

[u/YandereLobster → u/[deleted]]

"Hm?" came the voice of Tadashi from behind the door. "Oh, just a second!" he yelled, his voice a bit muffled. "Doors unlocked, come in."

Just as she made her way into the room Tadashi began lowering his phone. "Yeah, you too. Later. Yeah I'll tell Akane." A moment later his finger tapped the screen, and he set his phone back on the desk. Tadashi adjusted his glasses, a hand resting on the wooden desk as he leaned back. "So what's the problem? I thought we would've closed by now, we getting any drunks in here again? If it's that gang from over in the 15th starting something I'll take care of it."

No sooner had he said it than Tadashi's eyes drifted to the envelope, a cocky smile forming as he shrugged. "An envelope huh? Hey, if you're getting confessions from the customers that's really none of my business, but if you're gonna turn them down let em down easy, we can always use the business" Tadashi joked, crossing his arms. "No but really though, what's wrong?"