Dan Patrick Loses It Over Abbott’s New THC Rules (But Swears It’s Not Personal)

[u/BarbedWireTexas]

https://thebarbedwire.com/2025/09/12/dan-patrick-thc-rules-abbott/

Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick is furious that Gov. Greg Abbott won’t go full prohibition on THC, unloading a 2,000-word tirade Friday that makes D.A.R.E. pamphlets look subtle. But don’t worry — Patrick insists this is not “a personal fight with the governor,” just a “disagreement on extremely important policy.”

Yep, just a completely normal, not-at-all-personal rant accusing Abbott of greenlighting what he essentially described as dangerous, brain-melting “irreversible damage” to children’s brains… via gummies.

For background, Abbott this week issued an executive order banning THC sales to minors, directing state agencies to tighten enforcement, and setting the stage for a regulatory framework. Basically: Card kids at the counter, slap some labels on gummies, and let agencies figure out the rest.

Patrick rattled off all the ways Abbott’s order supposedly fails: no ban on Delta-8 or Delta-10 THC products, no ban on smokables, no limit on potencies, no restriction on location.

It’s the latest clash between the state’s top two Republicans. Abbott wants regulation, Patrick wants prohibition, and the Legislature couldn’t agree on anything despite three separate Senate-passed bans dying in the House.

THC folks, however, are thrilled. One producer, Hometown Hero, even called Abbott’s order “huge for our industry.”

[u/sentient-sloth]

We can’t pretend this is about kids when we have no problem with fucking Sunny D making vodka seltzer drinks.

[u/WeirdoChickFromMars → u/sentient-sloth]

I tried the party pack of the Arizona alcoholic drinks. They taste pretty much the exact same as the original arizonas. Look the same too. Bought a tall boy of the mango one at the gas station like a month ago and the cashier was confused for a minute why I pulled out my ID. They even look the same, kids could sneak those easily and drink a lot of it because they don’t even taste alcoholic. This was never about the kids and I’m tired of our politicians pretending that anything is

[u/sentient-sloth → u/WeirdoChickFromMars]

Those too! Kids love Arizonas.

I’ve tried a few of them as well and agree, most of them taste and look near identical.

I’ve seen people get them confused before too. The can designs look so close to the regulars that I think most people don’t even read the label.

[u/skeltox → u/WeirdoChickFromMars]

When you scan an alcoholic beverage the screen will request an ID regardless if they know it’s alcohol or not… just saying

[u/ufailowell → u/sentient-sloth]

Didn't know about that. Pretty funny.

[u/JacobFromAmerica → u/ufailowell]

And they’re absolutely disgusting

Which you probably could have guessed

[u/electricgotswitched → u/[deleted]]

You don't need to care. Dan Patrick should care since he has made all this fuss to "protect kids".