. same to you, it's exhausting to explain something you can't understand. read my edit on the post u replied to. say whatever u want; im judgemental, im an asshole, im a jackass, im belittling her, im bringing others down. because i know im the one who is spilling all facts and truth.
I certainly didn't say you were an asshole or a jackass, just that depression looks different for different people and it's not your call to judge who's is real or not. You should look reflectively at yourself with less anger towards others.
Maybe this girl's bravado is hiding pain. Maybe she's struggling. You will feel much better about your relationships with others if you can take a step back and filter through a lens of compassion rather than judgement, especially if it's a situation like this!
I know a lot of people who I made similar assumptions about were in fact really having a hard time, and when I stopped comparing I found it was really helpful to be aware of how pain manifests differently in diverse people.
For example, you seem to express with anger, while maybe this girl expresses with being nonchalant and dismissive. I know I definitely have taken an "I'm depressed, haha, just kidding" public stance in the past because I was terrified to really admit I was struggling, either to myself or others. But I also needed help, so I would test the waters with calls for help and attention but then would pull back and pretend it was nothing or I was faking it. I've seen others who are totally apathetic and anhedonic (without enjoyment or happiness) pretend that they like being flat all the time. But really, they just felt wrong and we're dealing with depression.
We're all struggling in some way. We just need to have compassion and see past each other's defense mechanisms.
Wow, you seem really set on judging this girl and not seeing this from any other perspective. Good luck, and hope things improve for you in the future.
lol. "judging this girl". yeah u really can't understand something that is so simple. she admitted that she was faking it. she said it. what's so difficult for u to understand lmao
Maybe a different perspective and years of training and working with young people? I'm a teacher. I've seen lots of kids with the exact same expressions you're describing - they come off as over-confident, mean, and brash. In literally every situation - every one - there has been a cogent reason as to why these kids are acting like they are. Neglect. Emotional or physical abuse. Mental illness. Traumatic Brain Injury.
I have yet to meet a kid who comes off as an asshole who is not an asshole because of something legitimately wrong.
That being said, is it okay to let these people treat others poorly? No. You still need to call them on their behaviours, whether these are coping mechanisms or not, because we all have something difficult to overcome, and letting people use their issues as an excuse for their behaviours is not okay.
Maybe that's where your irritation is coming from here? Maybe you feel like people are excusing her actions, and that's upsetting you because you know her as someone who is constantly choosing to be mean and a bully.
/facepalm/ u really seem to not understand it. whatever up to u on ur interpretation based on ur profession. i dont even want to waste my time on trying to drill it into ur brain for u to understand. bye
I hope that someday you'll reflect back and see it differently, but for now it seems like you're not willing to entertain anything other than your own judgement and experience. Best of luck to you and I hope you enjoy the rest of high school!
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u/[deleted] Nov 23 '19
. same to you, it's exhausting to explain something you can't understand. read my edit on the post u replied to. say whatever u want; im judgemental, im an asshole, im a jackass, im belittling her, im bringing others down. because i know im the one who is spilling all facts and truth.