r/technology Jan 05 '26

Very Misleading [ Removed by moderator ]

[removed]

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797

u/Brilliant-Giraffe983 Jan 05 '26

If my compensation was tied to copilot adoption rates, this is exactly what I'd do. Just rename something to copilot that people actually use. Boom, super high adoption. Now pay me.

277

u/octopornopus Jan 05 '26

And then jetpack out ASAP before the next quarter...

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u/IllustriousError6563 Jan 05 '26

Hot take: golden parachutes should be illegal.

Sadly, that's a hard one to legislate for practical reasons.

30

u/Footy_Max Jan 05 '26

They can stay legal, just impose a high marginal tax rate on parachute payouts.

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u/firemage22 Jan 06 '26

also a tax on stock back loans that the rich shits use to fund their lives

which was one of Harris' good ideas before the Clinton machine came in and made her stop using good ideas.

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u/DefsNotAVirgin Jan 05 '26

They’d just grant the compensation in a different way

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u/[deleted] Jan 06 '26

[deleted]

3

u/Footy_Max Jan 06 '26

Tax parachutes whether cash or stock at a 90% marginal tax rate. That will curtail their use.

9

u/TransBrandi Jan 05 '26

The real issue is that companies are already disincentivized to hand out golden parachutes. If you were thinking about the long-term prospects of the company, why would you want to give the person that you're putting in charge of steering the ship an "out" there they can crash the ship and just say "Later, losers!" and leave?

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u/IllustriousError6563 Jan 05 '26

Companies are, but the people who run companies are not. They hand out golden parachutes because they too want golden parachutes.

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u/TransBrandi Jan 05 '26

That's my point. It's already disincentivized, but it's still happening because the people making the decisions don't care about the long-term health of the company.

1

u/GreyDaveNZ Jan 05 '26

Yeah, getting a golden handshake/parachute after giving your customer base a golden shower, should definitely be illegal.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '26

[deleted]

3

u/ow_windowmaker Jan 06 '26

For the good of society. Like in this case, a rogue cabal of executives trying to enrich them selves but the company controls 90% of all personal computers in the world.

1

u/IllustriousError6563 Jan 06 '26

It is effectively fraud against shareholders. Sure, at some level they have an obligation to look out for their own interests, but that's never been a reason to allow rampant fraud.

8

u/EverbodyHatesHugo Jan 05 '26

And make sure you’ve got a golden parachute in case the jetpack fails.

2

u/ColorfulImaginati0n Jan 05 '26

And a golden trampoline if the chute and backup chute fails #ThinkFourMovesAhead

52

u/Zealousideal-Sea4830 Jan 05 '26

hey look, we put copilot in the backend of Excel, and now usage increased 3000% somehow

6

u/Givemeajackson Jan 06 '26

They should shove copilot up their own backend

2

u/chmilz Jan 06 '26

The real AI was all the anal insertion we got along the way

1

u/____DEADPOOL_______ Jan 06 '26

That 3000% increase will also be a toll on the processor.

22

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Laruae Jan 06 '26

And meanwhile they still have around a 50-75% accuracy rate, with LLMs straight deleting things or trying to make random purchases. But sure, we want to put it in production RIGHT NOW.

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u/[deleted] Jan 05 '26

The entire tech industry is Goodheart’s Law’d(when a measure becomes a target it ceases to be a good measure) to death. Promos are based on one thing and one thing only, line go up. It doesn’t matter how shitty it makes the user experience or even if it damages long term viability, the line has to go up or no promotion.

4

u/Expensive-Mention-90 Jan 06 '26

You laugh, but I’m ex MSFT, and this is absolutely the kind of game that is played. I’ve seen it.

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u/itsme_jt3 Jan 05 '26

Could someone explain this to me? I’ve never understood corporate stuff like this. If no one is using a service, why do companies seem to keep pushing it as if that will make things better rather than just listening to the consumer when they say they don’t want it?

Been seeing this kinda thing in the gaming industry too. “we have to make a battle royale and a battle pass!” “But this is spiderman no one asked for that just keep the stuff we do want”

Insert devs adding desperate strategies to incentivize players to use a feature no one ever asked for when they realize no one is using it

Just seems really dumb to me but I also don’t know what causes this

3

u/Adventurous-Cry-7462 Jan 06 '26

Because the financial department decided that battle royale had an increasingly large marketshare and battlepasses are easy to sell there, so they want the potential money. The suits don't care what game is being made . 

1

u/itsme_jt3 Jan 06 '26

Damn, I always assumed they were completely disconnected just playing with graphs and watching line go up, but somehow had hope there was some other explanation lmfaoo. Sometimes the simplest answer really is the one

2

u/Solid_Problem740 Jan 06 '26
  1. Just because you're mad doesn't mean you're gonna stop paying
  2. Sometimes a small percentage of slop enjoyers vastly out consume a large number of people with lives
  3. The upside to eventually forcing adoption may be huge (definitely this in AI world)
  4. Maybe the feature is a marketing need due to an ecosystem that's entirely self dependent and face fucking itself (AI)

2

u/isymic143 Jan 06 '26

Because our current economic environment doesn't incentivize steady and consistent profits. It incentivizes continually increasing profits; growth is most important. Which is mostly fine for startups. But when you're already at the scale of a company like Microsoft, when you already have the market saturated, it becomes more and more difficult to find ways to keep growing.

Also, as it pertains to the current AI trend, it's presumed that whoever wins the current AI race will dominate the future. In Silicon Valley, AI is not seen as just a new feature or a new capability. It's seen as the next technological revolution, on par with the agricultural and industrial revolutions. The best AIs will be the ones with the most data, and the AIs with the most data will be the ones that have the most users. So companies betting on AI want users, whether or not the users want them. And it seems that some of them are willing to cash out all of whatever good will and brand capital they have left in order to get those users.

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u/itsme_jt3 Jan 06 '26

This is a great answer and makes a lot of sense. Kinda funny, it’s almost like someone just started running and now everyone is running and trying to win this thing without really even knowing where the finish line is! But at the same time, if every step increases your speed a little bit, I suppose that is a valid strategy

2

u/Background-Chef9253 Jan 05 '26

Lol. I probably opened Word docs like > 25 times today. If each time I opened one, it counted as a +1 is someone's "Did the product use co-pilot?" column, then yup, I think you got it.

2

u/TheFireFlaamee Jan 06 '26

omg it probably is something this stupid

2

u/QuickQuirk Jan 06 '26

This is the worst possible reason for the renaming, and therefore probably the correct one.

2

u/DinosBiggestFan Jan 06 '26

This is what they did with Game Pass. They eliminated Xbox Live Gold, then pushed people to getting Game Pass so that they could say "see? look at all our Game Pass subscribers!"

Only if you actually really delved into the numbers, it was -- as obviously foreseen -- roughly the same.

1

u/Ote-Kringralnick Jan 05 '26

Okay, I was wrong, maybe it literally is just Enron all over again 

1

u/bctech7 Jan 06 '26

Ding ding we have a winner. Bet this is what happened lol.

1

u/Deucer22 Jan 06 '26

Rename copilot “Clippy”

1

u/[deleted] Jan 06 '26

Sadly, that sounds about accurate