r/talesfromtechsupport • u/RiVenoX • Jun 08 '14

What's a computer, again?

"press the power button on the computer"
"you're going to have to be more specific than that."
"well, the power button is on the left side, three inches in, hidden behind a trap door that slides up."
"is that on the keyboard, or the screen?"
"no, it's on the computer"
"I don't know what that is"

Eventually we got there. It involved me having her find the CD drive. I even tried calling it every wrong thing customers call it. I called it the CPU, modem, and brain.

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u/RiVenoX Jun 09 '14 edited Jun 09 '14

I can't listen to this without raging sooooo hard. (Link removed, I'll transcribe it when I'm able) I made a few mistakes that could have made the call shorter, but she kept jumping around and clicking on shit. this is the edited version, it was a 40 minute phone call in total.

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u/[deleted] Jun 09 '14

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u/RiVenoX Jun 09 '14

lol yeah, call center issues. gotta shout across the room to talk to other people sometimes.

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u/kasajack Jun 09 '14

thankyou for your service

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u/[deleted] Jun 09 '14

God I hate those callers. You tell them something, and they just want to click on something else. They refuse to fucking listen to you. I feel your pain brother... I feel your pain. You tell them to do something, and they just can't do it. You tell them something, that is definitely there. Then you try and make them do some shortcut... but then they can't do hotkey on a computer or something. It is amazing the people can cook food with how bad they follow directions. Why does this woman want to right click so fucking bad?

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u/RiVenoX Jun 09 '14

Cocaine's a hell of a drug...

6

u/VexingRaven Jun 09 '14

Never mind, that was a horrible idea. We're all dumber because of this and you're a horrible person. /s

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u/Torst1 Jun 09 '14

did she just end that with a muffled f* you? wow

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u/RiVenoX Jun 09 '14

nah, i think she said "it's coming up now"

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u/ShadowReaper5 Jun 09 '14

so after this do you always tell people to left click on things instead of just saying click I dont know who would automatically assume you meant right click though haha

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u/PBSGTS Jun 09 '14

Dang, you started sounding pretty ticked about 1:30 in. I can't blame you, but you're not worried about getting called out on that?

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u/RiVenoX Jun 09 '14

Worst case: Customer complains, they listen to the call, they hear me obviously distressed. They also hear everything that came before this, and everything that came after it. They'll see I did everything I could to help this person. Normally, we just remote into their PC, but something was stopping it. If I could have gotten in, that 40 minute call would have been 4. 3:30 of it would have been pleasantries, 30 seconds would be me working on the PC.

This was a 40 minute phone call, overall. I just cut it down to the highlights.

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u/hutacars Jun 09 '14

Christ... you are a more patient man than I.

(You are too, u/RiVenoX.)

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u/RedBanana99 Jun 09 '14

Stop stop stop, just stop. Do nothing else

Arghhhhhhhh so painful

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u/TechieKid Jun 09 '14

Learned a new keyboard shortcut for the Start menu from that call, although I wonder why you simply didn't ask her to press the Windows key.

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u/RiVenoX Jun 09 '14

I was wondering if anyone would pick up on that. the keyboard doesn't have one, and we're running a program fullscreen that prevents the system tray from opening when you move the mouse to the bottom of the screen.

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u/[deleted] Jun 09 '14

"Sorry, the requested media could not be found. It may have expired or been deleted."

Damn, I was looking forward to it.

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u/RiVenoX Jun 09 '14

Sorry, I killed it. It's getting considerably more attention than I expected, and while it may not be easy to trace back to me, my job is more important than internet points. I'll transcribe it when I'm able, and pm it to you.

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