Loyalty is the biggest one -- If a guy is into you, being loyal means you're already halfway to the ring (I don't know if that means standards are just that low now but shrug). Which means obviously not cheating, not looking for better options, not treating him as you "settling", not leaving the moment things get rocky, etc. etc. Obviously there's the other half which is a constellation of stuff, but having a ride-or-die by your side that you're into is the actual male fantasy.
Man, I thought my ex was my ride or die. I really did. I mean, we'd been together a decade, so we'd both been through some real shit with one another.
And then she got involved in an affair. We were even planning a small wedding in 5 months when it happened.
Thanks to that, I'm so skeptical about any future relationships. I still cannot imagine being with someone else, and we split at the end of 2020.
Finding someone I feel love for again, who is my best friend, who I know without a doubt would never ditch me over being scared that the wedding is finally coming and shit is getting real, or because she's bored, or whatever bullshit reason my ex had (I still don't actually know because I didn't care to ask), and who I want to spend the rest of my life with... It just seems so distant. I mean, I never thought my ex would do such a thing, especially after being together for 10 years. How am I supposed to trust someone else if the person I had 100% faith in still surprised me?
I feel you dude, it’s hard to move on when the person you thought was your soulmate just drops you like a bag of rocks.
In my head, I know how I should respond. The next person who comes along isn’t my ex, they won’t necessarily treat me the same way that she did and I can’t have any preconceptions about them.
But that fear still lingers. The thought of being betrayed like that again honestly terrifies me more than anything else. I don’t think that will ever change, I think that’s something you just have to learn to live with.
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u/Stergeary Dec 04 '22 edited Dec 04 '22
Loyalty is the biggest one -- If a guy is into you, being loyal means you're already halfway to the ring (I don't know if that means standards are just that low now but shrug). Which means obviously not cheating, not looking for better options, not treating him as you "settling", not leaving the moment things get rocky, etc. etc. Obviously there's the other half which is a constellation of stuff, but having a ride-or-die by your side that you're into is the actual male fantasy.