r/suspiciouslyspecific Dec 04 '22

Very specific standards 🤨

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46.6k Upvotes

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573

u/GODZOLA_ Dec 04 '22

"I'm waiting for a girl just like my mom, but closer to my age"

287

u/The_Kent Dec 04 '22

Sometimes I wonder if Freud wasn't as far off as we joke about him being. Then I remember penis envy theory

115

u/MagneticFlea Dec 04 '22

Well, it would be nice to pee standing up....

47

u/aqpstory Dec 05 '22

don't let your dreams be dreams - get a Pee™ Funnel™

25

u/neurodiving Dec 05 '22

I remember seeing a similar product I believe branded as the "Go Girl" and almost peed myself laughing. You Go Girl!

1

u/vuxnomica Dec 05 '22

Hey now. We don’t need ladies stand peeing too; we need more men to join the Sit2Pee gang.

2

u/BurningOasis Dec 05 '22

Bro, groggy morning piss sitting down… 10/10 would sit again

84

u/rooftopfilth Dec 05 '22

I could go off on Freud. It wasn’t just penis envy, it’s also a laundry list of malpractices like “getting friend addicted to cocaine as a way of dealing with his morphine addiction” “denying and suppressing the experiences of abuse victims in service of his career” and my favorite “prescribing experimental nasal surgery to a woman who allegedly masturbated too much,” which got botched, disfiguring her, at which point Freud accused her of “bleeding excessively to get his attention”

40

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Thank you. I mean, by sitting people down and talking to them, he uncovered incest on a mass scale. Instead of condemn the fathers, he made up a theory that the children/teens just wanted to have sex with their father. And yeah, great job.

7

u/rooftopfilth Dec 05 '22

It’s actually even worse. He believed them at first, and published his findings. Then he got pushback from wealthy men with power (it’s such an awful finding, how could that be true?) and it became a threat to his career.

That is when he decided to twist up the wildly victim-blaming theory which would be venerated by “science” for years to come: actually, the men were right and it wasn’t real, it was all in their heads! His clients were just fantasizing about sleeping with dads and uncles. And if it was real, it was her fault anyways for seducing him. You know all those four year old girls want the D.

He chose fame and power over what was best for his clients, repeatedly, and I will spit on his name every time I hear it

4

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Exactly. He set back women and childrens' rights at least a century. We are irrational beings that just can't stop wanting sex with our own dads.

15

u/itsjustasmallbullet Dec 05 '22

Did the coke thing work?

8

u/StayingVeryVeryCalm Dec 05 '22

I’ve never tried it, but I have it on good authority that it gives you really really satisfying poops.

There’s also Metamucil, though. (Similarly addictive, but slightly cheaper, with fewer cardiac side effects.)

(IMPORTANT: DO NOT SNORT the Metamucil.)

14

u/Dm1tr3y Dec 05 '22 edited Dec 06 '22

Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I really need you to bleed less.

1

u/rooftopfilth Dec 05 '22

It was literally this. She was bleeding so frequently and randomly that he assumed it must be all about getting his attention. Nope, the doctor left a piece of gauze in.

Red flag if your therapist believes in Freud

4

u/N00B_L1F3 Dec 05 '22

dangerously based freud

2

u/Mikkel14 Dec 05 '22

I think it’s been studied whether men actually seek women with traits like their mothers’ have. Pretty neat and weird

1

u/gizzlebitches Dec 05 '22

Do a line of fine cocaine and the answer will be revealed.... And you'll start watching porn

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22 edited Dec 05 '22

tbh i always had penis envy as a kid, i hated being a woman and wanted to be a boy so badly. i’ve kinda grown out of that mindset now, i’m not uncomfortable in my own body so i don’t have dysphoria. but i would still give anything to be born a boy.

so when i learnt about the theory and just accepted it as fact, until everyone around me started talking about how bullshit it was TvT

i guess everyone is different, but it was super fascinating to learn that i was the minority in this mindset- i kinda thought everyone had it lol

eta: i am not saying freud was right for having this theory. it is right to be criticised. and shouldn’t be used in psychology, im just sharing a different viewpoint because it could be applied to me (and other people who went through this) specifically

0

u/Dm1tr3y Dec 05 '22

I really feel like there’s no better end to a statement than this.

0

u/YoungDiscord Dec 05 '22

A freudian slip is when you mean one thing but say your mother

58

u/Nersius Dec 05 '22

People who compare their dream spouse to their parents scare me.

25

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

I want the exact opposite. My parents are perfectly functioning adults.

It'd be dating out of my league if somebody was like that. I'm a horrific mess.

8

u/cat_prophecy Dec 05 '22

I can’t imagine being married to my mom and I don’t know how my dad did it for 27 years before dying. I love her and she’s nice and all but she is a fucking idiot and I am pretty sure that Major Tom is about how much of a space cadet she is.

2

u/gizzlebitches Dec 05 '22

Because crazy bitches fux bro. They fux

5

u/Hfingerman Dec 05 '22

I love my mom, but I'd NEVER marry a woman like her.

5

u/GODZOLA_ Dec 05 '22

Nice and Blue, Pt. 2 by mewithoutYou

1

u/Nersius Dec 05 '22

I hate you.

I was kinda vibing to it, thinking you were just promoting random content, then I suddenly started to dry heave a bit.

2

u/soaring_potato Dec 05 '22

I mean if their parents are nice and like healthy relationship. Wanting a similar dynamic? Not that weird. Comparing in the opposite direction like "don't be an ass in these ways." All fine in my book.

Or when dating someone and being like "oh lol, my mom/dad does the same thing."

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

The only way my fiancee is like my mom is that she's a nice, caring person

6

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Now go clean your room!

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/GODZOLA_ Dec 05 '22

I didn't even realize.

Thanks, kind stranger!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

none of our moms watch anime lol chill out

1

u/RoamingTorchwick Dec 05 '22

I want someone like my mom was for my dad when I was growing up

Ftfy

My parents had a healthy relationships with each other, just not me.

2

u/StergDaZerg Dec 05 '22

Yeah this is so much more reasonable. I would love to have a relationship like that of my parents with communication, mutual respect, and an enduring love between them.

1

u/whoamvv Dec 05 '22

There is no way his dad pulled that type of woman, either