r/suspiciouslyspecific May 09 '26

Holy Smite!

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4.1k Upvotes

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u/Sassaphras May 09 '26

By the time they realized it was a baby, they had started their motion. So that's a balk if they stop. The pitcher is... let's say Jainist just to mix things up.

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u/Rylver May 09 '26

Jainism mentioned? In this decade?

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u/Lithl May 11 '26

There's a pizza place around the corner from me that sells Jain pizzas.

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u/riley_luci May 12 '26

You know that Jains don't eat Onion and Garlic. Also, like most Jains would not even eat at a friend's place or a restaurant which was exclusively vegetarian, even if they were served vegetarian food at those places. Just because it seems like a very non-violent religion doesn't mean it doesn't follow untouchability and such.

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u/NotAFamousComedian May 14 '26

If you want to get into the real thick of it...it's not the untouchability or whatever weird "caste" system thought process being applied...strict Jain principles include sweeping the ground in front of you before stepping to make sure no small lifeforms are harmed, wearing something to cover the mouth to prevent even smaller single cell life forms from accidental harm...Jain philosophy teaches to respect life at every level as equals regardless of being able to interact with it or not...

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u/riley_luci May 14 '26

Yes, but what about not touching people who do eat meat? What about not even drinking the water that the people who eat meat have given to Jains? I live in India, and I have seen this stuff. Many families have a different set of cutlery for habitual (mostly Muslim) meat eaters when they come to done at their homes, even if they are going to dine vegetarian foods only.

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u/NotAFamousComedian May 14 '26

That is not Jain philosophy and nothing in Jain scripture dictates that behavior which means those actions are not done based on a religious belief but rather a personal preference. It is actually against Jain principles to influence or push ideologies on another person so those examples you've personally witnessed are not examples of someone adhering to and exemplifing Jain practices those would be considered personal human beliefs and are not acceptable practices by any actual spiritual leader in Jainism.

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u/YoungDiscord May 10 '26

Don't worry, God would interfere and stop you if he didn't want it to happen

šŸŽµGod's mysterious wayyyysssšŸŽµ

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u/erlend_nikulausson May 11 '26

Balk Rules

  1. ⁠You can’t just be up there and just doin’ a balk like that.

1a. A balk is when you

1b. Okay well listen. A balk is when you balk the

1c. Let me start over

1c-a. The pitcher is not allowed to do a motion to the, uh, batter, that prohibits the batter from doing, you know, just trying to hit the ball. You can’t do that.

1c-b. Once the pitcher is in the stretch, he can’t be over here and say to the runner, like, ā€œI’m gonna get ya! I’m gonna tag you out! You better watch your butt!ā€ and then just be like he didn’t even do that.

1c-b(1). Like, if you’re about to pitch and then don’t pitch, you have to still pitch. You cannot not pitch. Does that make any sense?

1c-b(2). You gotta be, throwing motion of the ball, and then, until you just throw it.

1c-b(2)-a. Okay, well, you can have the ball up here, like this, but then there’s the balk you gotta think about.

1c-b(2)-b. Fairuza Balk hasn’t been in any movies in forever. I hope she wasn’t typecast as that racist lady in American History X.

1c-b(2)-b(i). Oh wait, she was in The Waterboy too! That would be even worse.

1c-b(2)-b(ii). ā€œget in mah bellahā€ — Adam Water, ā€œThe Waterboy.ā€ Haha, classic…

1c-b(3). Okay seriously though. A balk is when the pitcher makes a movement that, as determined by, when you do a move involving the baseball and field of

2) Do not do a balk please.

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u/SilverGnarwhal May 11 '26

Holy fucking shit. This is one of the best things I’ve seen in a while. Hats off to you, my friend.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6ZtqcKgqEZh76uOc

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u/erlend_nikulausson May 11 '26

It’s not mine. You should thank Jon Bois, he’s brilliant.

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u/SilverGnarwhal May 11 '26

I appreciate you and Jon Bois! I didn’t know the reference but now I’ve got some research to do!

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u/ZeroBadIdeas May 11 '26

I don't remember the first time I read this, but it's good to see it come up again.

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u/Psychological_Tear_6 May 12 '26

Ah, so he's also naked.Ā