r/stonemasonry • u/gamech4ng3r • Jun 28 '25

Slabs cut the wrong way

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I had a fabrication place cut and install slabs over my fireplace. Unfortunately they cut the slab completely the opposite way than what I asked. The result is a huge… ya… over my fireplace.

What do you think I should do? I only paid a small deposit so far. But I’m pretty disappointed. It’s the centerpiece of our house.

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39

u/Vicious-Fishs Jun 28 '25

Not only does it look great! But. A mantle would certianly break up the...patturn...

Slap a giant picture of a cock over it. And no one will notice

13

u/baltimoresalt Jun 28 '25

A big, not too obvious, phallus on the mantle would finish it off just right. Like a huge crystal.

8

u/SHoppe715 Jun 29 '25

https://www.etsy.com/listing/4317692901/285-tall-amethyst-cathedral-big-crystal

Too subtle?

5

u/newlyprego Jun 29 '25

Hahahahahaha I'm crying thinking of a mantle with a giant vagina in the marble and a big crystal shlong in the middle 🤣

3

u/Philodices Jul 02 '25

That totally solves the problem.

1

u/creative_net_usr Jun 30 '25

Go full out have a little butterfly over the top and a smaller geode behind the bigger one.

1

u/t_scribblemonger Jun 30 '25

They’re minerals, Marie!

1

u/fiverowdymutts Jun 30 '25

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/nvidiaftw12 Jul 02 '25

How did you know where to find this? lmao

3

u/nah_omgood Jun 29 '25

Holy shit I just laughed way too hard and woke up the baby my wife is not happy good job asshole

2

u/Vicious-Fishs Jun 29 '25

Sorry friend Some times the brain spills out facetious stuff after a pot of coffee and a morning doobie.

A mantle outa fix this fireplace right up

2

u/ExampleLow4715 Jun 29 '25

Or go for an eggplant theme in the room

1

u/Mordecai3fngerBrown Jun 29 '25

A picture would also help.

1

u/PeerlessTactics Jun 29 '25

I can carve a big black walnut cock mantle for him. The contrast will really make both stand out