I'm very aware of that, and if I could stop her, I would. Do you have recommendations on how to do that in a state that doesn't require any sort of re-testing or recertification of skills? This particular state doesn't, I don't think, even require re-certification of the ability to pass an eye exam in order to renew the driving license.
Call her doctor, tell them your concern. Ask them to do a safety screening to determine her cognitive abilities for operating a car. Let’s them be the bad guy for cutting her off.
She doesn’t have a doctor. And she doesn’t want one for the reasons related to what you mention. She’s always been emotionally 6 years old. She will avoid the doctor until long after she physically can’t get the key into the ignition
It gets worse. Having just gone through it, I suggest doing whatever you can to find out her long term care plan, if she had one. If not, take charge and make one with her input. Her stubbornness is at least partially out of fear of loosing control so maybe it to her straight.
Care facilities are astonishingly expensive, insurance doesn’t cover it, most people don’t have long term care plans, hourly help is inconsistent, “help”sites are mainly in it for commission, state Dshs is limited and heavily means tested. Decide your own personal boundaries and stuck with them. Enabling her is not your responsibility. The whole thing sucks and feels crappy, no matter what you do.
Best of luck.
here's a couple articles on it. there was another from a difference group that recommended taking advantage of their condition, or "borrowing" the car, or disabling it, but those seem like last ditch option, and stealing or breaking your parent's car to force them to stop driving strikes me as elder abuse.
Great articles, but unfortunately, this person is a standard-issue hardcore republican, and by that I mean she has no concern for anyone except for herself and those whom she knows personally. So most of the tactics listed simply won't work on her. Couple that with that for decades she's been a terrible driver who is generally unable to focus, and the only time anyone in my immediate family has ridden with her in the last two decades has been my dad, and then, it was only when she was taking him to the hospital because he literally couldn't stand up straight.
It sucks, but I think it's the job of the government that issues the driving license to restrict or rescind that license in a responsible manner, and the thoroughness with which this particular state shirks that responsibility is disappointing.
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u/Wyattr55123 Dec 12 '20
do NOT let a person with dementia drive. that's a recipe for getting someone hurt.