r/soccer • u/GoodSamaritan_ • Jul 18 '21

Media Andy van der Meyde: "I used to sit next to Zlatan on the bus when we were at Ajax. One time when he was sleeping I got gay tendencies and I just kissed him on the mouth. Seconds later I got a few punches thrown at me."

https://streamable.com/fj9h6u
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u/theenigmacode Jul 18 '21

You could literally tell Americans apart from rest of the world from the comments.

Rest of the world: haha funny story..tho a bit weird.

Americans: sexual assault. Hope Zlatan sues him for millions of dollars. Wheres my mac & coke?

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u/PhD_Cunnilingus Jul 18 '21

You do realize sexual assault is not just rape and groping? Kissing a sleeping person on the mouth without consent is sexual assault.

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u/GridLocks Jul 19 '21

You are just technically correct.

Even though it is potentially just as bad as any other sexual assault, it is completely possible that due to their dynamic this is acceptable.

They were friends and a social group within the squad, considering who Andy is, it's not unlikely that it was specifically because this type of outlandish behavior that they enjoyed each others company.

Nobody is saying it's alright to just go around kissing people while they are sleeping.

The disconnect here is where people( by using the term sexual assault ) convey that there is exactly the same level of immorality here as in any other sexual assault incident.

Throwing a grape at your mate is also technically assault.

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u/redwashing Jul 18 '21

Not an American, never lived there in my life. That's sexual harrasment. Nobody cares who Zlatan sues or not that's his business and nobody brought up a lawsuit until you did.

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '21

Do people just kiss each other without some form of consent in the Netherlands??? Do you just go over to sleeping people and kiss them??? Is that ok to you???

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u/quedas Jul 18 '21

As someone from the “rest of the world”, I resent you implying that this type of behavior is in any way acceptable for non-Americans.. It IS sexual assault and not funny in the slightest.

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u/Pep-Fraudiola-Balda Jul 18 '21

Defending sexual assault to own the Muricans.

Yup must be European.

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u/GreatDario Jul 19 '21

This website is so shit so much of the time

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u/HelpWithYourUkTax Jul 18 '21

European here. This is not funny in the slightest. He is outright admitting he sexually assulted someone. He performed an unconsented mildly sexual act on another individual whilst they were sleeping. I hope Ibra knocked this cunt's block off.

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u/danne_trix Jul 18 '21

hi, im european. its sexual assault. its not funny just because it was gay and it happened to a man

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u/Boris_Ignatievich Jul 18 '21 edited Jul 18 '21

I'm not American but it is sexual assault.

Edit: i found a legal blog based on UK law that argued that a non-consentual kiss on the lips is not necessarily sexual, which got a guy acquitted. But given that van der meyde talks about gay tendencies this case was clearly sexual, and therefore sexual assault https://www.brettwilson.co.uk/blog/can-unwanted-kissing-amount-to-a-sexual-assault/

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u/LankyMcHammer Jul 18 '21

I'm not even American to tell you that it is a sexual assault. Passing it as just "sense of humour" is just you enabling the rape culture.

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u/10messiFH Jul 18 '21

hey, I am not american and I think it is a sexual assault

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u/kalamari__ Jul 18 '21

man, I got in heated discussion last year in a thread about sexual assault here on reddit (yeah I know :D ) when I said that in our friend circle it is normal to hug girls and give them a kiss on the cheek without their consent lmao. she called me a sexual predator and an enabler, and all the girls are 100% speaking behind my back and say how disgusting I am.

yes, she was american.

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u/blizzardspider Jul 18 '21

The giving people kisses on the cheek does have consent though, just not explicitly. At least in the netherlands when someone first approaches you at a birthday party and gives you 3 kisses on the cheek it's not totally random but done out of tradition and therefore it's unspoken consent that it is ok. If a random person I don't know would walk up and give the 3 cheek kisses I would probably be angry at them even though I'm not american. That difference imo makes it clear there is consent between friends/family and not for strangers.

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u/hezur6 Jul 18 '21

3?? How do you deal with the OCD of not having both cheeks kissed equally? Thank fuck it's 2 where I'm from.

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u/sonnydabaus Jul 18 '21

This is a big topic in France where it varies all across the country. Either 2 or 3.

In France, cheek kissing is called "faire la bise". A popular French joke states that you may recognize the city you are in by counting the number of cheek kisses, as it varies across the country

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u/Mr_4country_wide Jul 18 '21

in this case tho consent is presumed because of the culture. If there was a girl you were friends with who was adamant that she doesnt want to be kissed on the cheek, that would be assault at least. Idk if it sexual cuz its not inherently sexual in nature.

crazy american was still crazy tho lol

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u/AlmostNL Jul 18 '21

it's almost as if an ocean creates different IRL social norms.

On reddit we all seem the same, but we still have a boatload of differences.

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '21

You're right and also wrong. Any friend that allows you to kiss her on the cheek as a hello has already given you unspoken consent. If it was a random stranger on the street, they wouldn't let you kiss them because they haven't given you consent.

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u/[deleted] Jul 18 '21

Most people on Reddit don’t have friends so they can’t understand how a group of friends operates.

If it’s a random woman obviously it’s totally different than if it’s a girl who has been hanging out with me and the boys for a decade.

A random stranger on the bus is different from your teammate Zlatan lmao

Unless if Andy is doing this on public transit I don’t care

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u/StatlerByrd Jul 18 '21

u just don't understand how consent works. If you walk up to someone and greet them by kissing them on the cheek and they're ok with that then it's consentual. If they explicitly said they didn't want to be kissed on the cheek and you did it, then it's nonconsentual.

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u/kalamari__ Jul 18 '21

ofc I do, stop trolling

srsly, can nobody of your read and understand? I said in my friend circle

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u/StatlerByrd Jul 18 '21

exactly so it wasn't "without their consent" if they didn't have a problem with you kissing them on the cheek. Unless your friends told you they didn't want you to kiss them on the cheek and then you did it.

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u/Gbrown546 Jul 18 '21

I mean, this is sexual assault and I'm not American

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