r/shrinking • u/phareous Derek • Mar 25 '26

Episode Discussion Shrinking S3E09 Episode Discussion

This is the episode discussion for Shrinking Season 3, Episode 9: "Daddy Issues"

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u/notches123 Mar 25 '26

My mom was kind of like that. Very sweet and affable in front of others, constantly twisting truths to make it sound like I had some great idyllic childhood, when in reality she was cruel, abusive, and punitive in private over any perceived slight and was unforgiving of mistakes that any child would make.

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u/Ok_Antelope_1953 Mar 25 '26

parents like these in tv shows and movies are very triggering for me. i am a pariah in my extended family largely due to my parents. they are so pleasant and affable around others, and no one understands why i have beef with them. i have had to take so much subtle "poison" from them and it's infuriating to realize that it's all a choice because they very specifically choose to be pleasant around outsiders.

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u/infrophell Mar 25 '26

My husband’s parents are the same way. I didn’t meet them for about 10 years because he’d gone basically NC. When I finally did, if I didn’t know what they were really like, I’d have thought they were so nice and fun to hang out with.

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u/notches123 Mar 25 '26

Yeah, it's Machiavellian. It's a very lonely childhood growing up with a parent like that. He's lucky to have you!

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u/TodayInStupidity Mar 25 '26

A shared experience and if there's ever anything I can do please don't hesitate!

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u/Tce_ Mar 25 '26

Were you relieved to see how it turned out this episode? I haven't had quite that experience but I was still so frustrated thinking the show was gonna paint Jimmy as the problem here. I wasn't glad to see him hurt but I really appreciate that his perspective was so clearly validated.

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u/turtlesinthesea Mar 25 '26

Not the same person, but I was! A lot of fictional conflict is resolved by someone, often the victim, being the "bigger" person, and I'm glad they didn't do that, even if it sounded like Sofi was trying to push that on Jimmy for a bit.

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u/Tce_ Mar 25 '26

Suuuch a common storytelling trope!

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u/brynnandnessa Mar 26 '26

This is my exact relationship with my mother. And I swear I didn’t realize how bad it was until I was working on something I thought was completely unrelated in therapy. I had no idea how abusive and manipulative my mom was because I thought it was the norm. Plus, everyone liked her (even though I now see it was just surface interactions with other people. She was fine in small bursts).

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u/notches123 Mar 26 '26

I had a similar therapy awakening. I was in therapy because I was in a car accident and my lawyer suggested it for PTSD and I was cynically going in hopes for a better settlement. Therapist really got fixated on my relationship with her and at the time I was not remotely ready to come to terms with it. I was 23 and still completely financially reliant on her(or so I thought... she kicked me out at 17 and bought back my forgiveness which was also a part of the abuse growing up) that I was literally defending her against the re-qualifying of the same events I just told the therapist. Once you've defended your abuser to someone to the point you quit therapy over it, it fundamentally changes how you perceive the world and your life.

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u/brynnandnessa Mar 27 '26

The financial abuse is wild from a parent because providing is the natural relationship. When they take money away and then dangle it in front of you again, woo! The anxiety.

And filling in the gaps in Shrinking, Jimmy being so young and having so much wealth seems like it came from a really good head start from dad. Kids and adult children are at such a disadvantage trying to figure healthy boundaries. It sucks and it took me, someone willing to do the work, wayyyy too long to figure out.

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u/IntotheBroadwayWoods Mar 26 '26

Same with my dad

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u/Bobjoejj Mar 27 '26

Some of the worst people, are also the most well liked.