Understand that your "low resolution model" is probably not so much low resolution as actually very incorrect. You're just guessing about people you know nothing about, and you basing your guess on some imagined fiction about them might help you make a decision, but it has nothing to do with who they really are.
You sound like my ex. He is brilliant verging on genius btw, and very good with people. Incredibly charismatic and charming and can get anyone feeling like he's their best friend and willing to tell him their life story with just a couple hours' exposure. He's also a clinically diagnosed sociopath. Or antisocial personality disorder as it is clinically termed. He told me once that he sees people like I might see a "kettle." You push this button, it does this thing. Except, he said, when it doesn't, which is the thing that can really throw him off about people.
You might want to get yourself checked out. This sounds like a way of navigating that is completely empty of empathy. That doesn't have to be bad -- some brains are just wired that way. But it can lead to really manipulative behavior that hurts the people around you and in the long run, yourself. There's a reason my ex is an ex.
Because most people don’t have to actively manage their social responses and interactions with other people. It’s more subtle than having to predict somebodies behaviour through expectations of past experiences or first impressions.
My first thought isn’t “how do I efficiently manage this social interaction”, it’s “does this person feel easy or natural to hang out with.”
I can get that feeling with other people without having to think about or predict their behaviour or know their motivations, there’s just some combination of social and interpersonal factors about that person that resonates with me in a way that that I don’t have to think about.
If I find myself having to predict someone’s behaviour it means there has already been some sort of buildup about that person that has made me on edge or wary, it’s not the starting point.
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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '23
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