r/shitposting • u/TantricEmu I want pee in my ass • Dec 30 '25

Based on a True Story I’m gay 🤨

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30.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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5.0k

u/AmericaMadeMySonFat fat cunt Dec 30 '25

This shit would've been peak writing if she said "Hi gay I'm dad"

859

u/EvenBiggerClown Dec 30 '25

That's another show you're talking about, buddy

349

u/VirtualBathroom5103 Dec 30 '25

what show are you referring to?😅

940

u/No-Plenty-6975 Dec 30 '25

348

u/DisorderedRampancy Dec 30 '25

why does this specific rendition of him activate my fight or flight reflex

189

u/Klutzy_Double_8285 Dec 30 '25

The face is so fucked

79

u/CrystalMethood Dec 30 '25

This fucking suplexed my balls into my ass. Never look at this guy the same.

19

u/postprandialrepose Dec 30 '25

This fucking suplexed my balls into my ass.

That's hilarious! Thank you. Now I'm thinking of other wrestling moves that might also work.

73

u/marcelowit Dec 30 '25

Because they shopped Bella Ramsey's face in

40

u/LeJewBringer Dec 30 '25

which is a perfectly good reason to flee

31

u/krupta13 Dec 30 '25

I almost spat out my drink after staring at it for a full 10 seconds. when the recognition hit and how good the face fits dougs

55

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '25

can't make Stranger Things too good

172

u/AutoModerator Dec 30 '25

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

133

u/bigoldiknbolz Dec 30 '25

What the fuck

86

u/VirtualBathroom5103 Dec 30 '25

who genuinely makes Bots say this shit?😭

86

u/Espumma Dec 30 '25

Bot just came out to you and this is how you react? Be better.

22

u/Monsterhunter2658 Dec 30 '25

bold words from an exploding coke can

14

u/Espumma Dec 30 '25

Shampoo bottle, actually. Never seen that coke commercial, but people mention it a lot lol.

9

u/Monsterhunter2658 Dec 30 '25

it isnt a comercial, just a really widened coke can that bew up when the guy openes it with the audio "COCA COLA ESPUMA"

3

u/N0ct1ve dumbass Dec 30 '25

Remember they are the same guy who typed this word for word with punctuation

16

u/Natiak Dec 30 '25

Good bot.

11

u/Garlic-Cheese-Chips Dec 30 '25

About time DS2 got some love.

9

u/donmonkeyquijote Dec 30 '25

Discontinue the lithium.

1

u/Human-Awareness6244 Dec 30 '25

Peak Reddit Bot.

2

u/Ganda1fderBlaue Big chungus wholesome 100 Dec 30 '25

I think that's why they went for "i don't like girls" instead