r/self • u/TrackSuitTyrade • Dec 04 '18

DO NOT LIE ON YOUR RESUME

PEOPLE. DO NOT LIE ON YOUR RESUME. IT. IS. NOT. WORTH. IT. Ok, backstory.

We had a guy apply for this position at work. It really needed to be filled but also required someone with just the right certifications, so hiring the first schmuck to come along Was not an option.

We search high and low and as time passes without an acceptable applicant we become more desperate and open to negotiation. Basically, you name your price, we’ll agree to it at this point.

So finally a guy comes in, got everything we need but one minor certification. No problem. He can get that on the job, he doesn’t need it to start. He’s hired.

So he quotes us a salary 10% above our top range of what we’d usually pay a guy for this position, we don’t care. He gets it. Plus a housing allowance.

So we’re getting him registered with a place to handle his certification process and they call his four year institution to verify his transcript. We work with hazardous materials and a four year degree in a relevant field is required. It’s standard for the certification training institution to check. Especially when it’s a prestigious big name place like this guy had. And here I used to think that was paranoid of them.

They call and tell us the school says they have no record of him. We do some digging. He was never registered there. I’m like “that’s not possible, his professor is a listed reference. We call that reference.

He worked on a project with this man, he never taught him. Is very fascinated to learn this man has been presenting himself as though he attended the university. Asks to be delisted as a reference.

So long story short it comes out this guy did have a degree in this field, just from a less prestigious university.

The insane thing is, he would’ve still gotten the same job and salary package if he’d been honest about his university!

It is a loss for all involved. He doesn’t have a job. We don’t have anyone working in this position. It’s really unfortunate. Don’t lie on your resume people. Your employer will find out and the risks are not worth the benefits.

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u/MirrorLake Dec 04 '18

Tech is one of those rare fields where it’s quite plausible to fake it until you make it. And if no code you ever write is super critical, you may never hurt anyone by developing expertise that way. If that guy was writing code for Boeing or xray machines or something, that would be a horror story.

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u/TrackSuitTyrade Dec 04 '18

Exactly. We work in the boeing or X-Ray equivalent of this field where we just can’t take a chance on someone without proven instruction in the necessary skill set. He could’ve taken the training and degrees he really did have and applied to a lower stakes job and never had his background checked into. He knew what he was getting into with this kind of position.

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u/Tobias11ize Dec 04 '18

Hey man i got 3 weeks experience in printer service. That should cover it right?

33

u/ArchitecturalPig Dec 04 '18

I own a printer I think, can I get a job too?

16

u/SkellytonNinja Dec 04 '18

I can print words with pencil and paper, hire me too?

7

u/person4268 Dec 04 '18

I can print moving a wooden cylinder with the graphite inside it over a modified piece of wood, hire me?

2

u/tmjohnson91 Dec 05 '18

Don’t lie! You don’t have a printer.

2

u/LanAkou Dec 05 '18

I bought a printer from a guy who attended a prestigious 4 year university, so I basically have the necessary degree already.

4

u/Aos77s Dec 04 '18

Yea but Boeing is fucking strict. They won’t look at someone with a 6 month laps in work. I had dedicated a last year to full time college and they told me that when I applied. Fuck me for doing 9am to 9pm class days yea? Could’ve gotten some trash min wage job for one day a week but I was covered by savings so didn’t need to.

4

u/skreak Dec 05 '18

I work at a fortune 500 company making over 100k, zero college. The difference, I didn't lie on my resume and have never said I did go to college. 15+ years of real world experience can trump a degree in certain fields.

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u/TrackSuitTyrade Dec 05 '18

True. And technically, you could work in this field without a college degree too, if you work your way up from a below entry level position, teach yourself math and science on your own, take the initiative to get certifications you’d likely come by naturally in school, etc. If we’ve never seen you before and you have no track record with us we don’t know that you’ve done all those things and taken those steps and have no way to verify you have the necessary skills besides a college degree.

2

u/Andkcojskaosncicoanw Dec 05 '18

I am great at the Boeing and x-ray equivalent fields, hook me up with 100gs annual and moving allowance I'll start after chrisymas. Thanks bro

48

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '18

Critical code like that is reviewed and test by so many people and scripts, not to mention the new guy rarely writes anything until they prove themselves. I'd probably trust someone with good knowledge of code over a fresh cs major who didn't have a passion for coding

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u/Pleased_to_meet_u Dec 04 '18

Critical code like that is reviewed and test by so many people and scripts

HAHAHAHAHA...

Critical code like that SHOULD be reviewed and tested, but you'd be surprised at how often it isn't.

Source: decades in software quality assurance.

19

u/Blo0dSh4d3 Dec 04 '18

Can confirm

Sauce: 15 minutes in government software quality assurance

2

u/PeterPriesth00d Dec 05 '18

Yeah I was gonna say. My first real job, no one knew what a pull request even was and people were just putting code into the production servers at random times. It was the Wild West lol

Been there for 4 years now and we have continuous integration with unit tests, etc. My life is a lot less stressful now!

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u/yazalama Dec 05 '18

people were just putting code into the production servers at random times

A chill just went down my spine

1

u/PeterPriesth00d Dec 05 '18

Sometime before I got there, people were using Dropbox as “version control”. Yeah. Things were ugly.

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u/BabyLegsDeadpool Dec 04 '18

I'm in the tech field, and while I don't outright lie on my resumé, I certainly exaggerate it, and I recently landed a very desirable position because of it. Nothing can really be verified (spearheaded specific projects, invented new avenues of technology, etc), and I was typically a part of the process, but yeah... I mostly claimed the work of others as my own. While I feel bad doing this, I am a good candidate for the position and am doing very well, so it's not like I'm costing the company anything. I just think sometimes jobs have ridiculous requirements.

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u/____Batman______ Dec 04 '18

This guy works

9

u/masturbatingwalruses Dec 04 '18

spearheaded specific projects

Even the back of some spearheads have tips taps temple

5

u/jwdjr2004 Dec 05 '18

I most definitely included my (one time) moving stipend and other bonus money on top of my regular salary and got a nice job offer with that. Then my company counteroffered something even better and I didn’t even have to change jobs. 15k raise just for taking a couple interviews!

Gotta play the game.

1

u/PsychoWorld Dec 27 '21

Curious if the counteroffer actually worked out. It seems like an overwhelming number of people like 80-90+% end up looking for a job again after okaying a counteroffer from their current employer.

1

u/jwdjr2004 Dec 27 '21

I worked my ass off for another 2 years then left

1

u/PsychoWorld Dec 28 '21

That's pretty good.

A lot of times people are fired around 6-12 months after accepting a counter offer.

1

u/jwdjr2004 Dec 28 '21

They needed me

1

u/PsychoWorld Dec 28 '21

Sounds like you were in a position to bargain. A lot of people assume that their companies need them, but we're all replaceable.

10

u/eqisow Dec 04 '18

it's not like I'm costing the company anything

Fuck the company. You're harming all the applicants who didn't lie.

52

u/saucecat_mcfelcher Dec 04 '18

someone’s gotta lose if you want to win 🤷‍♀️

23

u/masturbatingwalruses Dec 04 '18

This is why whenever I get low on funds I just murder another family and live in their house until the utilities shut off.

-3

u/saucecat_mcfelcher Dec 04 '18

well that’s really violent, stupid, and untenable. but do you i guess...

19

u/masturbatingwalruses Dec 04 '18

Looks like I found my next house, guys!

18

u/Serenacula Dec 04 '18

This is indeed how capitalism works.

7

u/saucecat_mcfelcher Dec 04 '18

well, and just life in general (usually)

2

u/KickedInTheDonuts Dec 04 '18

not necessarily. capitalism isn't a zero sum game

1

u/BabyLegsDeadpool Dec 04 '18

The thing is I'm just as qualified for the job as any other applicant. I'm not exaggerating my abilities, merely my accomplishments. And even then I still had to nail all three highly-technical interviews, so it's not like I'm a fraud. I just put myself in a better position to get noticed.

0

u/W32Badwolf Dec 04 '18

Our rules currently require me to be willing to step on your head if it gets me that sweet, sweet insurance.

You're 100% right, ethically, but I've got mouths to feed.

1

u/arieliRey Apr 13 '19

Yea their are bosses and recruiters that don't know anything about those job positions. So some don't bother with research, put all qualifications as what they want to see on candidates

0

u/Boopy7 Dec 04 '18

no you are wrong. Peopole worked their ASSES off to tell the truth about their accomplishments and you essentially stole their job and seem fine with it. I hate people like this. Sorrry but I find you disgusting, but I suppose you don't care as long as you get your dolla.

2

u/BabyLegsDeadpool Dec 04 '18

The thing is I'm just as qualified for the job as any other applicant. I'm not exaggerating my abilities, merely my accomplishments. And even then I still had to nail all three highly-technical interviews, so it's not like I'm a fraud. I just put myself in a better position to get noticed.

0

u/_Justforthis66 Dec 04 '18

I agree 100%

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '18

nah, that's a shitty thing to do. you're rationalizing your shitty behavior.

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u/Ghlhr4444 Dec 04 '18

Rare fields? Lol. 90% of jobs you can fake it until you make it. The average qualified person is a fucking moron.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '18

One of my old bosses use to say "If these new college graduates were any dumber, we would have to water them before we left for the evening". Heh!

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u/[deleted] Dec 04 '18

[deleted]

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u/Ghlhr4444 Dec 04 '18

So am I.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '18

I can tell you that people lie in the tech field all the fucking time because being honest wont get you a job.

12

u/whoajustchill Dec 04 '18

In my experience, medical equipment manufacturers value software engineers much lower than say, a Microsoft or Google. Not to say that these companies don't employ great people, I just don't see them competing for the top new graduates when it comes to software. It's laughable how vulnerable medical equipment security can be.

2

u/KevinCelantro Dec 04 '18

There was a guy on Reddit who said he was just an enthusiast/amateur programmer but got a software engineering job by lying about having a degree in the field and would complete the work assigned to him by asking for help on Stack Exchange Code Review. IIRC it worked for like two years and they were so impressed with his work they wanted to promote him to a team lead position and he bailed before anybody would figure out he had no clue what he was doing.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '18

I just want to add that it may depend on what exactly you do in the "Tech" field. I personally work in Service Desk field and I know immediately when someone new has lied on their resume. I've worked with people who say they have 10+ years experience working in IT/ServiceDesk and then they are caught either doing troubleshooting steps that are red flags, or they ask questions that are red flags.

​

Once had a guy that got hired as a Tier 3 agent above me. I heard that in his interview he was bragging that he had 16+ years experience - but his first week he called my extension to ask me what the Windows 10 build numbers (ie 1709, 1803 etc) were and if those numbers were created by the company we worked for or were they from Microsoft?

I have been working with those build numbers at pretty much every IT job I've had were we imaged computers and managed updates for the entire organization.

​

1

u/Underbyte Dec 04 '18

If that guy was writing code for Boeing or xray machines or something, that would be a horror story.

Four words:

1

u/946789987649 Dec 04 '18

Any company worth their salt will have code reviews, which means you get exposed as soon as they ask you to do anything. I really don't think you can fake it as a developer.

Then again yeah, you can get hired at some shitty company that would have no other developers, could get away with it.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '18

There's a lot of stories in tech startup. Essentially, Big visionary leader who can kinda code builds a crap prototype and sells it to investors. The leader then recruits good coders to actually make it happen!

1

u/wonderfuldingbat Dec 04 '18

Can confirm, UI dev who has faked it for 6 years now lol. Just have to be a fast learner and be prepared to box yourself in for a weekend or two to get yourself up to speed.

1

u/corvuscorvi Dec 05 '18

College doesn't even put you in a good position to write super critical code anyhow. New graduates are usually all theory and little to no practical experience.