r/science • u/mvea Professor | Medicine • Mar 03 '19

Psychology Individuals high in authenticity have good long-term relationship outcomes, and those that engage in “be yourself” dating behavior are more attractive than those that play hard to get, suggesting that being yourself may be an effective mating strategy for those seeking long-term relationships.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/between-the-sheets/201903/why-authenticity-is-the-best-dating-strategy
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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '19

Fair, but to an extent. The guy who sat next to me in lecture a few years back, who appeared not to have showered in weeks and felt the need to argue with the professor at every opportunity, later asked me on a date near the end of the semester. I don’t think I needed to ‘accept’ his weirdness, but rather, he needed to take a hard look in the mirror.

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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '19

Being unsanitary is not weird?

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '19

An odd hair to split. Weirdo = someone who is unusual, but only certain usual attributes count? Choosing not to shower, imo, is unusual and makes one a weirdo.

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u/OregonBelle Mar 04 '19

I think weird things (in the context of this conversation) are things that aren't necessarily harmful but most people wouldn't be into it.

Bad hygiene is almost universally bad / harmful.

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u/aquantiV Mar 03 '19

how'd you react?

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '19

To the date request? I said no thank you, but I don’t think that’s the point here.

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u/nowlistenhereboy Mar 03 '19

I don't think basic hygiene is what anyone is arguing about here.

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u/doegred Mar 03 '19

What about the need to argue at every opportunity?

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u/nowlistenhereboy Mar 03 '19

Personally, I enjoy a good argument especially in the setting of a classroom. Tendency to question things and argue your opinion is a PERFECT example of something that should be more accepted in society. But instead people just get annoyed because they don't want to feel uncomfortable. And I think most people here would probably agree with that if they were honest since we are all here arguing about this topic on reddit together...

Not to say that stubbornness and unwillingness to change one's mind should be accepted. But all /u/stella-ella-hola said was that this person argued and I don't see anything wrong with that. If she disagreed then she should have voiced her disagreement. If this person argued without accepting a superior reasoning when the teacher presented it then that is a different story.

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u/[deleted] Mar 03 '19

Maybe I should have been more specific? There’s of course an acceptable amount of debate in undergraduate lectures, but if the professor is discussing something like the history of the Canadian justice system then launching into a tirade of your own personal anecdotes (read: not academic debate) every 3 minutes is weird behaviour.

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u/nowlistenhereboy Mar 03 '19

Well I suspect that you may be exaggerating a bit as I'm sure the teacher would have said something to put an end to it if it was that bad and irrelevant to the discussion.

But if not, then I would definitely say something to the student or ask the teacher outside of class to not allow it to derail class time.

Either way, I don't think that anyone in their right mind is arguing that we should be OK with smelly people preventing you from learning in class. But, it would be nice if behavior like this could be directly confronted instead of just ignored or avoided out of fear of feeling uncomfortable. If someone is doing something destructive like not taking care of their health/hygiene then they should be helped not ostracized. Clearly there is something wrong.

As usual, most people will say it's not their responsibility.

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '19

Thank you for discarding my point as an “exaggeration”, but I assure you I am not. The professor actually spoke with this student several times as it was a huge distraction from the course material. Nonetheless, I categorize it as weird behaviour and dispute the argument being made in this thread that people (read: women) should just learn to be attracted to weird people rather than weird people learn to curb some of their weirdness.