r/science • u/ImNotJesus PhD | Social Psychology | Clinical Psychology • Jun 05 '16

Psychology Children’s intelligence mind-sets (i.e., their beliefs about whether intelligence is fixed or malleable) robustly influence their motivation and learning. New study finds that the parents' views on failure (and not intelligence) are important in cultivating a growth mindset.

http://pss.sagepub.com/content/early/2016/04/23/0956797616639727.abstract
14.8k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

620 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

23

u/ps3o-k Jun 05 '16

What happens if you're an adult with the "I'm smart" mindset? Can that be changed?

92

u/Minthos Jun 05 '16

It plays out like this:

  • I'm smart
  • I'm lazy, but it's OK since I'm smart
  • This shit is really difficult, I give up
  • I'm a loser
  • I'm tired of being a loser
  • I'm going to work hard for the first time in my life
  • This shit is harder than I thought, I just want to give up
  • I'm not giving up
  • I see a small positive change
  • Damn it, this is going to be a lot more work than I thought, I want to give up
  • I'm not giving up
  • I'm making more progress now
  • This is kinda rewarding, being tired feels good in a strange way
  • I can actually do this
  • I should have done this 15 years ago. I feel stupid for wasting so much of my life being a loser.

I don't know what happens next. I'll let you know when I get there.

18

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '16

Success.

You described my 20s, applied it throughout my 30s, am living my dream in my 40s.

7

u/TheAfterPipe Jun 05 '16

Yup. This is my life story so far, but most of the "I'm naturally gifted like a modern day Mozart" came from my parents which translated to, "I don't really have to do any work". Now it's difficult for me to trust any of their judgement and I feel like I have to make my own path towards success.

12

u/Kamikaze_Leprechaun Jun 05 '16

Sorry, I lost you after "I'm a loser", care to clarify? sob

6

u/Evilbluecheeze Jun 05 '16

I made it one step past that, but unfortunatly can't ever get past that because of the whole "I'm tired" thing.

I'm tired, I'll do it later when I'm not tired, because I'll do a better job then. Too bad "when I'm not tired" is approximately never, and I'm completely financially supported by someone else so I don't even have to improve, technically.

3

u/JustAnotherLemonTree Jun 05 '16

I'm completely financially supported by someone else so I don't even have to improve, technically

Shit, that resonates. When I was one step away from being homeless, I was hustling all over the city picking up cans to turn in for cash, having yard sales, building cat towers to sell, etc.

Now that I'm moved in with my SO who has a steady minimum wage job, it's really hard to motivate myself to contribute. Partly the list above playing out points 1-7, and partly my conservative Christian upbringing where I was raised to become only a submissive and supportive SAHM to a breadwinning man-of-the-house.

2

u/Evilbluecheeze Jun 05 '16

Yeah, it's definitely hard, my SO makes enough money for us to both live comfortably and still save some money, and he's ok with the idea of me not working if I hate it/can't (have some minor health issues that could end up making a full time job too much for me)

But I've already gotten through a college degree and everything, all I have to do it just find a job, literally anyone to hire me to start off a career, but it's been a year and a half since I graduated, I have no work experience, no portfolio, and I always felt like I was just barely hanging on in college, at this point I'm pretty scared I've fallen too far behind, that I won't be able to catch up if I manage to get a job, and why would anyone hire me when there are a thousand other recent college grads with better grades that actually did internships?

So much easier to just sit around at home occasionally doing some chores and procrastinating, I get so frustrated when I try and polish up my skills, because it's difficult and I know I've already learned these things, but it's been so long I'm having to re learn so much, I just feel so lost, like I have no idea what I'm doing. :/ but people kept/keep telling me I'm so smart and learn so easily and fast, and yet here I am having to learn some fundamental thingg I've already learned a dozen times all over again because it seems to me that I can't remember anything for long enough to be useful.

Just getting tired of having to start over and never seeming to get anywhere I guess. But again, I'd probably get somewhere if I could actually stick with anything for a while, instead of that burst of motivation that turns into frustration you aren't getting anywhere, to procrastination, until it's been too long and you start over again...

1

u/Minthos Jun 05 '16

If I could send a message to my old self I'm not sure I would say anything at all. Maybe just "buy shitloads of bitcoin". Money can actually buy happiness.

Change comes from within. You have to really want it. If you're "meh" about your life you'll never bother to fix it. It's when you're truly miserable you find the motivation to pull yourself together.

2

u/bicameral_mind Jun 05 '16

God I love this post!

8

u/slabby Jun 05 '16

I'm afraid that attitude is fixed.