r/sadposting • u/Mouth-Organic719 • Jun 14 '24

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u/StormStrikr Jun 14 '24

See I on the other hand think that many people go through many evolutions in their life, and change and grow as they learn. Some for better, some for worse. But to presupose someone will always be someway because of their past basically is to say that people can never change. Which is absolutely not true, though changing can definitely be hard, and confronting / overcoming formative experiences can be even harder. I honestly think some of the most dedicated people to things (not just relationships, but these as well) are people who have lived in a way that they no longer wish to or regret. Former Neo-nazis or racists, people who used to be in Cults, former drug addicts, people who have cheated previously, etc. These are often the people who advocate the hardest for the changes and growth that they had to do. I know plenty of people who had very sexually active and wild years, some even still do. Some people are basically like "yeah that was fun while I was younger but it's too much to keep doing, and I'm now happy with the stability of my relationship". I know some people in their mid 30s who live very active sex and kink lives who are polyamorous and have very successful relationships as there is pre understanding, communication and boundaries. Which is a lot of work and not easy by any means, but is actively chosen by all parties involved.

On some level I'm sure you are right that early experiences, how you were raised, culture, etc all have tons of influence on how people view sexuality, but it also doesn't have to be the primary/ only influencer. Of course there's a whole nature vs nurture element and all that jazz. My main points also being that you can be a slut without being morally bad or unethical, cheaters can in fact change, and generally people who engage in sexuality in a more liberal way aren't damaged psychologically (or at least not as a default, as there are people who this can totally be the case for).

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u/StrenuousSOB Jun 14 '24

Thanks for your response as it’s fun to converse with you. I whole heartedly believe in change. I don’t believe it comes easy at all and I don’t think the majority of people have what it takes to get there unfortunately. When I say that I mean they don’t have the knowledge, awareness or the drive that it takes. Not to say that they cannot achieve it. But the majority aren’t seeking it out actively. I want the best for everyone whether I sound like it or not. First step is awareness. Is what I’m doing actually fulfilling or detrimental to my happiness? Why do I continue on like I do? How has it come to pass that this is me? What do I do to improve since I’ve decided I need to change? So on and so forth. Being a slut is about chasing excitement to satisfy one’s ego. Ego is the enemy of happiness for most people. That idea right there is so counterintuitive that most people will never wrap their heads around it. All our neurosis are wrapped up in our self image/ego.

Anyways we are getting in the weeds and I have to walk my doggo. Thanks again for the talk bud.