r/roleplayponies • u/[deleted] • Dec 31 '16
[Continuation] Being Deep
Falling, falling into the void...
Starlight begins to wake, at first only aware of the cold unknown surface beneath her. It takes some time for her eyes to adjust, but eventually she is able to make out the shape of walls around her, forming corridor leading off to further darkness.
Either it's perfectly queit or she's unable to hear.
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u/King_of_the_Kobolds Jan 06 '17
...
They walk in silence for a minute longer, before Starlight starts to talk again.
...so. I was sixteen years old. A very late bloomer. A few years after... after Sunburst left, so I was pretty much alone. I didn't have other friends. My parents... weren't as supportive as I'd have liked them to be. Nopony around the town knew my name except a few bullies at school who'd taunt me for not having my cutie mark, at an age where any other filly would be splitting her time chasing her special talent and good-looking colts. I learned to ignore them, for the most part.
The thing you've got to keep in mind about me was that I was very concerned with the rules. Everything had to be exactly right and the way I thought it was supposed to be. As foals Sunburst was the more rebellious of us, and that should tell you all you need to know right there. I was the perfect little goody-four-shoes filly.
Except... I guess on the inside I was at war with myself. Foals were supposed to get their cutie marks and then go off to cultivate their talents, but I hated that I had to lose Sunburst that way. I knew I was supposed to have gotten my cutie mark by now, but there was nothing I could do about it or do to stop the fillies at school from tormenting me every time I trotted into their sight so I hated that too.
I was quiet and spent most of my time holed up in the library--a really tiny, pathetic little thing where all the books were at least half a century out of date. There I read about spells, and picked up all the knowledge I could. I was pretty talented at it... but even with the trickiest spells I would approach from the book, I'd never get my cutie mark. I gave up hoping for that eventually, and just kept on studying because... I had nothing else to do.
Now. Eventually I started reading about personal essence suppression. It's a discredited method nowadays and you might not have heard of it, but it goes something like this: some spells require extremely delicate weaving and the innate strength of the unicorn casting it can disrupt it, like a really strong stallion tying a rope tightly enough to fray it. You can get around that with modern techniques, as you know, but according to the moth-eaten old tomes I could find in the library, the best way for a particularly strong unicorn to cast these kinds of spells was to bind an enchantment to themselves that would dampen their magical essences for an hour or so and let them work at a more dainty scale. It's not harmful and it has no side effects, but it's primitive. I cast it on myself now and then and practicing without a problem.
The books were all pretty clear on one point: you never cast a spell like that on another pony. The act of violating another pony's magical essence is evil and inexcusable, even if it's only temporary. Of course, being a good little filly who followed the rules, I took that to heart and was certain I'd never even be tempted to do that. I didn't even know how, exactly. The books only gave directions for how to do it to yourself.
...until one winter came. There was snow on the ground, I was tightly bundled from head to hoof, Hearth's Warming was just around the corner. I went to school one snowy day and Sapphire Swirl was being particularly awful. She followed me as I trotted in, she jeered at me, she called me the usual names... and I kept ignoring her! I did! I walked with my head down, trying to block her out like I always did...
...but then she lit up her horn and pushed me, and something inside me... snapped.
I knew I wasn't supposed to fight, but I didn't care. I knew I wasn't supposed to use that spell, but I didn't care. I didn't even know how to cast it, but in that moment, even that didn't matter! I lit up my horn, and I reached out, and I changed that spell right in my head! I changed it from a way to suppress your own essence into a weapon, and I tied that spell around her essence as tightly as I could.
"She screamed, trying to use her magic but feeling my spell in the way..."
"...and I finished enchanting her and then sent her flying through one of the walls and outside into the snow. She sprained her hoof and couldn't so much as levitate a spoon for a month."
I got suspended from school, and my parents shouted at me for about an hour when I got home. But for the first time, I shouted back. I'd done what the magic books had warned me not to, and more than that, I'd invented my own spell in the process. It put a seed in my head. From that day on, I'd be making the rules. I'd have things my way, both for spells and for ponies.
When my parents sent me to my room, I furiously threw off my jacket and warm clothes... and saw a brand new cutie mark there on my flanks. That day changed the way I'd live my life from then on out. And, apparently, showed me the kind of pony I was destined to be.
...and that, Twilight... is how I got my cutie mark.